com5330 Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 I have an issue and am looking some neutral rational advice. My girlfriend and I have been dating about 2 years and for the most part we get along very well. She is a great sweet girl in almost every way. The one problem we do have is her jealousy particularly towards one girl in my past. This one girl was my best friend’s girlfriend before my girlfriend and I started going out. My best friend, his gf, and I always hung out together and were a group of friends. However, best friend’s relationship started going south around the time I was getting together with my current gf. About that time I started to notice that my friend’s gf was somehow nicer than seemed right, and I suspected she may be interested in me. I never was interested in her, so I stopped being close friends with her. About this time my gf was randomly being irrationally jealous, crying, asking questions about everything for what appeared to be no reason. Come to find out, my friend’s now ex-gf had been sending complex stories (lies) about her and I to my girlfriend in an effort to destroy our relationship. It went deeper than I ever could imagine, she knew me well and could come up with convincing stories. Unfortunately, my gf never told me about this until later so I was unable to defend myself or stop it. As if that wasn’t enough, I stopped communication with that girl and blocked her online because I knew something was up although not what… so she went so far as to create fake online profiles harvest information and to “flirt” with me and try to get me to respond so she could use that info to break up my gf and I’s relationship. (Harvest = find out when I am with my gf and text constantly etc) Anyway, I am not a bad person, I love my gf and would NEVER cheat or flirt with other girls so those plans failed. Eventually I figured out the whole of what she was doing and made her stop, and it all came out in the open – I thought that was the end of it. But now it looks like her blows landed... my gf is still paranoid now years later. She must not honestly believe nothing happened, I am not sure but we have had several significant fights about that girl. I feel I did nothing wrong and she irrationally states I should have stopped that girl from “Hurting her” with those lies – but remember she never told me that was happening, so I am at a loss. The thing that I really don’t understand is I am pretty sure she knows nothing happened since we’re going out, because by that time I was no longer associating with the other girl and was outwardly annoyed with the situation. But she is very paranoid about before that – nothing happened but even if it did, we were not going out and it was before I knew her, so why does it matter? Anyway, the thing that really set this off was recently I’ve had some health issues due to stress at work and an infection in my throat- all cleared up now but still feeling the effects of the medicine, and my gf just had a dream that the other girl has AIDS. Now she seems to be concerned that I somehow have it. I try to explain the flaws in that thought process (Never even held hands, AIDs doesn’t fly around like a cold…) but she doesn’t get it. She is not “fighting” with me but is just worried. What are your thoughts? What can I do? I would go get a test to prove it but that is not the point, she is my first, I don't do drugs... and at some time this stuff have to stop. Am I wrong? I have never lied or cheated on her in any way. And she claims to know this and believe it. (What she subconsciously thinks, I don’t know) Another aspect is, this is only one girl that "liked" me. Guys are trying to get her constantly, but I trust her. I don't think the situation is being treated fairly, both directions. Any advice? Link to comment
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