Is it ok to tell him I'm not interested in friendship?

[kittykat_12]

When you got back together the first time, did you resolve the issues from the relationship before moving forward again??

 

I think thats a VERY important step in any reconciliation... its nice to think "lets just start over" but its never that easy when you have history with someone. Those problem always resurface...

 

In my past relationships, (I've had 2 long term relationships prior to this one).. each time, the guy ended it after a fight or saying "i need a break"... I always maintained No Contact, and both times, they came back after 2 months. Also both times, I jumped right back into it because I got so caught up in the emotions of them saying "I love you, lets make this work". A year after that, I left both relationships because my feelings had changed and I realized that the problems were still there.

 

I guess in this relationship, we were only together for about 6-7 months so we didn't have any really problems. Sure we argued about our little personality differences, but there was nothing major. He just needs his own "MAN TIME" to figure it all out. I'm ok with that - I have no ill feelings towards him.

 

If.... I mean, WHEN we reconcile, I'd like to have a conversation about the breakup but I dont think it'll be too intense because we our relationship was pretty easy, no major issues to sort through.

[pumpkinmoon]

I wouldn't say so. He was bad at communicating for a start and could never see or admit that he was in the wrong. In my opinion, I took him back way to easily the first time, and the second time. There is also a lot of resentment towards him due to the way things ended and how he conducted himself.

[kittykat_12]

Ok guys... a bit of an update

 

it's been a few days since we had our online chat and he admitted to missing me... that was on sunday. It's now Wednesday... we texted a bit back and forth last night too. Really playful, and light. Today he sends me an email with a link to something about the new age of texting.. hahaha SOO irrelevant. Looks like he's trying really hard to initiate contact almost on a daily basis, but always about very light-hearted things. We still haven't talked about "us"..... suggestions???

 

Should I continue with this playful back-and-forth exchange?

Should I stop replying in hopes that he'll be a little more aggressive and say something like, "Hey... we should meet up and talk?"

Or should I just ask him straight up what his intentions are... and let him know its All or Nothing?

 

Thanks all!!!!

[pumpkinmoon]

Thinking back, I was too scared to ask straight up what he wanted so I just went along with it. I think if you have the courage then do it, but I would wait a little to see how it progresses. He may not be sure himself yet and asking him at this early stage might scare him off.

[kittykat_12]

So true... I'll wait it out.. tomorrow it'll be exactly 4 weeks since the breakup.. AAAH . Can't believe how fast it went by..

[pumpkinmoon]

So true... I'll wait it out.. tomorrow it'll be exactly 4 weeks since the breakup.. AAAH . Can't believe how fast it went by..

 

See, that's not long at all. I think you could do with the space you are getting now anyway because it's still so fresh and you really don't want to go rushing back into it again. Keep us updated though