Satisfied Well After the Honeymoon Phase

[Lady Rashomon]

Out of curiosity--how many people here who've been in long-term relationships (I'm talking well over two years) have incredible, passionate, fulfilling, totally hot sex with their partners and are able to communicate successfully what they want and need in bed? I'm just curious--it seems like humdrum sex after a few years is the norm, but are there folks here who have experienced otherwise?

[Cognitive_Canine]

My partner and I have been together for nearly three years and I think we have a pretty great sex life. We have our ups and downs but not much complaining from me.

[Seraphim]

I would not say it is humdrum, no.

[rosephase]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. The sex is still amazing. But we have an open relationship so we both have sex with other people as well. Sometimes I wonder if that is part of why it is still so good and fresh.

[Lady Rashomon]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. The sex is still amazing. But we have an open relationship so we both have sex with other people as well. Sometimes I wonder if that is part of why it is still so good and fresh.

 

Fascinating! Do you feel that this is what makes your relationship successful (assuming that it is, of course)?

[rosephase]

I think our relationship is successful because we deeply love each other and work really hard on being honest and open with our emotions and our actions. But yes, sometimes I think the sex is better simply because we aren't in a rut. Also it just makes me feel more sexual knowing that I could meet someone today and really like them and I could sleep with them.

[Taikero]

rosephase, how do you deal with the possibility of STDs in an open relationship like this? Do you require your non-relationship sexual partners to have a full panel done before you have sex with them, or do you insist on condoms, or both? How often do you and your partner get checked due to the open nature of the relationship?

[rosephase]

my boyfriend, my girlfriend and I get check about 3 times a year. We only have non-protected sex with each other. I ask that any new partner get checked as well. And we all fully disclose out STD status before we enter into any new relationship.

[anggrace]

3 years, not that long, but it gets better and better. Im very satisfied.

[Lady Rashomon]

I know it takes effort to keep the spark alive, but I ask because things got very, very dull within the first year of my relationship--not sure if this is a symptom of not trying hard enough or just simple incompatibility.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I know it takes effort to keep the spark alive, but I ask because things got very, very dull within the first year of my relationship--not sure if this is a symptom of not trying hard enough or just simple incompatibility.

 

Did you have sex before marriage? Did anything change such as stress in the work place, birth control, time together?

[teabee]

Within the first year seems too soon. Just the sex is dull?

[Lady Rashomon]

Did you have sex before marriage? Did anything change such as stress in the work place, birth control, time together?

 

Yes, we were together for six years before getting married. It's a little hard to explain the trajectory our relationship took. There were the typical workplace stresses, I did get on birth control a few months into our relationship, and our energy levels are quite different (particularly in the beginning, he was more of a night person/partier, while I was more of a morning person who liked to do outdoorsy stuff). We didn't live together and probably had sex about 2-3 times a week (basically, whenever we saw each other), which tapered off to once a week and then once a month within the first year. He has pretty much been my ONLY consistent partner ever, and I was pretty inexperienced when we first met. I was never wowed by our sex life but assumed things would get better as we became closer. In some senses, they have, but I've also just never felt a real, burning desire for him, either, when it comes down to it.