What happen to breaking up face to face?

[guynextdoor]

I notice a trend lately in the past few years it seems like from my own experience and reading some of the posts on ENA that people are breaking up with their bf or gf via text messaging or emails. For some reason that kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth and somewhat a cowards way out of things. What happen to breaking up face to face? I remember one of my very first long term relationship I met up my ex at a park when we broke things off. Got alot off our chest, tears were rolling but at the end it was a smooth break off with no loose ends.

I like to hear some feedbacks from other ena members and what they think about this new trend of breaking things off. Am I the only one that thinks I'm getting the shaft, or maybe I'm just too old school?

[bluegradient]

Just a sign of the times I'm afraid.

 

As a society we seem to be under the impression that all of this remote communication is leading to more communication but I find that it's having the opposite effect. Some of my fellow students in college can barely hold a conversation face to face. But as soon as there is a lull in the classroom they whip out their texting devices and furiously type away. Masters of digital signals who have to be threatened by teachers before they will participate in classroom discussions.

 

I read an article about a guy who had been released from prison after over 20 years for a crime he didn't commit. They asked him about some of the technology he had missed out on and he said Facebook is neat but unnecessary. If a guy like that doesn't need Facebook to reconnect, why do the rest of us? Is it just because it's easier to give a text update than to call someone or go visit?

 

May end up in an era where people are afraid to talk to other people.

 

It used to be extremely poor form to break up with someone in a note or by leaving a message on their answering machine.

[g84]

I think that unless there are some very special circumstances involved, that kind of thing should be done face to face if possible. The idea of someone breaking up by texting seems pretty strange, in my opinion :S.

I'm sure that it's not easy to do at all, but it can seem disrespectful to not make an effort to say things in person if the circumstances allow it.

[d_lilah]

I think that breaking up via text or email is cowardly and disrespectful to a relationship. I've been broken up to by text and phone, and neither of them ended well. After spending so much time with someone I feel it is only respectful to them to tell them personally, and otherwise gives accross an impression that you never cared and can leave them very very angry.

 

When I have broken up with someone (years ago!), I done it face to face. I thought about it for a while before hand, and spent the day with him, just to be certain about my decision. When I told him, he wasn't happy, but accepted it because I had given him the time and respect that I thought anyone who had been in a relationship deserved. While he tried to get back together with me and constantly stayed in contact, I never ignored him but made it clear that I only thought of him as a friend. As a consequence, he was the only ex I have ever stayed in contact/friends with.

 

I have no respect for people who take the easy way out of ending a relationship. It's hurtful and cowardly.

[Dako]

The texted breakup must be a cowardly new trend. At least a phone call is in real time.

 

The manager at work never answers her phone and only contacts the staff by text or email even if they're 20 feet away. I'm the only one to refuse this so she talks to me nervously. She just turned 30 and can't talk to people, but can type like a machine.

 

BTW, My first breakup was coming home to find her gone. No note or anything.

[Sanesoul]

The only time I see it as acceptable is if you are in an LDR, and wouldn't be able to get together to do the face-to-face breakup.

[sidehop]

I think there are so many ways to dissect and theorize the trend which I have to agree that too often we aren't socializing like the way we used to. It may be that this instant gratification culture, from being able to buy things instantly, find information with few keystrokes and rely on technology that often times only makes us busier. It's consuming the way we think and go about our lives.

 

Can't agree enough with bluegradient, this will only get worse. We assume that technology is helping us yet we are disconnecting ourselves from each other on a personal level. In so many ways people are forgetting or for the young never learning to communicate out loud and properly.

 

I was quite shocked to call up a dealer recently and got a live person without pushing any button who was able to assist me. It's so rare nowadays to even speak to an operator let alone get a live person without getting frustrated navigating through the so-called menu with speech recognition.

 

Like g84 said there are things that should be done in person unless of course this is what most people expect and is accepted. If that's the case we are really going down a very sad path as human beings in the future.

[Starbourne]

I agree with all of you. Breaking up via text is total cowardice. If people are going to dump their SO, then they at least deserve more than just a text message or an email.

[JonasWaingaro]

The only time I see it as acceptable is if you are in an LDR, and wouldn't be able to get together to do the face-to-face breakup.

 

I'd still think a call is better and shows more respect to both the person and the relationship.

 

To OP Email/text/letter is cowardly and immature. If you can't deal with breaking-up with someone you probably have no business in a relationship to begin with. Though none of this is 'new'. 'Dear John' letters are as old as writing. Technology has made it easier for cowards to execute this practice, but they aren't new by any means.

 

Oh I wanted to add I got an email break-up. Then I had to call her. I often wonder if she would have ever bothered to call if I had not.

[brandnewday47]

We assume that technology is helping us yet we are disconnecting ourselves from each other on a personal level. In so many ways people are forgetting or for the young never learning to communicate out loud and properly.

 

Just a sign of the times I'm afraid.

 

As a society we seem to be under the impression that all of this remote communication is leading to more communication but I find that it's having the opposite effect. Some of my fellow students in college can barely hold a conversation face to face. But as soon as there is a lull in the classroom they whip out their texting devices and furiously type away. Masters of digital signals who have to be threatened by teachers before they will participate in classroom discussions.

 

I read an article about a guy who had been released from prison after over 20 years for a crime he didn't commit. They asked him about some of the technology he had missed out on and he said Facebook is neat but unnecessary. If a guy like that doesn't need Facebook to reconnect, why do the rest of us? Is it just because it's easier to give a text update than to call someone or go visit?

 

May end up in an era where people are afraid to talk to other people.

 

It used to be extremely poor form to break up with someone in a note or by leaving a message on their answering machine.

 

 

I agree with sidehop and bluegradient 100%. I think you can even step back from breaking up and say that we in general socialize on a less personal, more robotic way than we ever have before. I believe one of the things that leads to strong relationships... whether romantic or lifelong friendships is communication. If you can't at least communicate face to face or over the phone at a minimum, then it is just too impersonal to last very long. A quality partner/relationship cannot thrive this way. To a certain extent my belief is that texting and IM'ing as a "primary means" of communication really hurt my last relationship. Lesson learned to say the least.

 

I'd be willing bet that in general if that pattern is followed during a relationship, there will be disharmony down the road.