When do you start to let your bf/gf stay in your house alone?

[sixxy]

I'm just wondering when do people normally start to let their bf/gf stay in their house when they are not in the house (for instance they spend the night and in the morning you go to work and they sleep in and leave the house later by themselves and lock the door from outside, so they don't need to have the key). I personally think this requests a quite large amount of trust and I will be very careful about it especially if I have housemates. Thanks!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I would not let a partner who is not my spouse stay alone in my place.

[sharsachan]

i agree with cad....

[Day_Walker]

Each person is going to have to decide when they trust their partner enough to let them stay at their place alone. I dont think that anyone can state an actual time frame.

[orchidrose]

Oddly enough, I don't think I ever left my LT ex alone in my apartment (I live alone). I had to work early on a Saturday morning when I was with my last ex, so I let him stay and sleep. When I got back a few hours later, he was still in bed sleeping, but I'd still hesitate to do it again. Somehow it feels like an invasion of privacy.

[hers]

My boyfriend got a key to my place at about 4 months, b/c my roommate was gone for a few weeks somewhere and I knew I'd need help with his dogs. My roommate knew about it and ws fine with it. Now my boyfriend will stop in when we're not there to grab something he left or whatever. He'll go hang out and wait for me to get home if I'm getting off work soon. My roommate doesn't have a problem with it but I do ask his permission or give him a heads up if my boyfriend will be there alone.

[teabee]

I've been at my bf's place alone, and if I had my own place he'd be allowed to stay there alone too. I don't know why we would be bf/gf if we didn't trust each other enough for that

[orchidrose]

My boyfriend got a key to my place at about 4 months, b/c my roommate was gone for a few weeks somewhere and I knew I'd need help with his dogs. My roommate knew about it and ws fine with it. Now my boyfriend will stop in when we're not there to grab something he left or whatever. He'll go hang out and wait for me to get home if I'm getting off work soon. My roommate doesn't have a problem with it but I do ask his permission or give him a heads up if my boyfriend will be there alone.

 

You're a good roommate! A few years ago, my then-roommate offered to have her boyfriend take care of our pets while we were all gone for break. We thought this meant he would stop by every few days, but we found out after the fact that he had stayed in our apartment alone for almost a month! Not only was it an invasion of privacy, it also meant he was eating our food, keeping our light and heat bills going, etc. I was livid. When I asked her why she didn't ask us if this was okay, she said she knew we would say no. Ugh.

[confused25]

I think it all depends on your comfort level with your SO. My bf doesn't stay over at my place a lot, but when he does, I usually let him sleep in since I have to get up early for work. I talked to my roommate first to make sure it was ok before I actually gave him the ok. I'm at his place almost every weekend and although he is there with me most of the times, there were instances where he had to leave to go somewhere so I just eneded up at his place alone either watching TV or working. But I do not have a key to his place though, which I guess it's not really a big deal for me. We probably didn't start letting each other stay alone at each other's places until a year into our relationship.

[sixxy]

The reason why I asked this question in the first place was because that my bf of 2 months started to leave me alone in his house which he shared with another couple. I don't know if this is because he is indeed a relaxed guy and trusts me a lot or it's just the norm. Of course I appreciate it and always make the bed and tidy up the room a bit after I get up, but when I try to put myself in his shoe...since I'm living in a dorm now so I literally can't have overnight guest, and I really don't know what I'd do if I could.

[rosephase]

My boyfriend went out of town about a month into our relationship. He gave me a key to his place and asked if I wanted to stay there while he was gone. I ended up sleeping in his bed every night. We moved in together a month and a half later. So we where moving really fast. If I like someone enough to date them, have sex with them, spend time with them I trust them alone in my house. My friends have keys. They are all welcome to let themselves in. I don't feel the need to protect my stuff and I trust my friends not to dig thru my stuff. It seems odd to me that you wouldn't trust the people in your life to alone in your space.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I would not feel comfortable staying alone in a bfs place without him being there.

[orchidrose]

I would not feel comfortable staying alone in a bfs place without him being there.

 

I did several times with my last ex, when he had to work early. I slept in, made his bed, and often went upstairs to chatted with his roommates for awhile before leaving. It felt more comfortable both to me and him, I think, since he had roommates there. It felt a lot weirder for me to leave him at my place, since I live alone.

[doyathink]

If I'm comfortable and close enough to sleep with the man, and bring him home in the first place, then I better be comfortable enough to trust him in my home when I'm not there.

[teabee]

If I'm comfortable and close enough to sleep with the man, and bring him home in the first place, then I better be comfortable enough to trust him in my home when I'm not there.

 

That's exactly how I feel

[Dako]

If I'm comfortable and close enough to sleep with the man, and bring him home in the first place, then I better be comfortable enough to trust him in my home when I'm not there.

Exactly my thoughts.

If I trust a woman with my mental health, she's more than worthy of a house key.

[KG]

If I'm comfortable and close enough to sleep with the man, and bring him home in the first place, then I better be comfortable enough to trust him in my home when I'm not there.

 

Exactly. Not sleepi' with a thief. LOL!

[happylady]

I would and have trusted my bf alone in my house.

[Cognitive_Canine]

At about a year and a half into our long distance relationship, he came for a week to visit me. I still had obligations throughout the day, so he had to stay at my place for several hours alone through the day.

 

Honestly, the opportunity doesn't present itself much but I'd have no problem if it did quite often. If we were in that situation though, we'd probably just live together.

[hers]

I agree with doythink and the others who agreed with her too. If I trust a guy to bone me, I can trust him to sleep in my bed without me there.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I think it's a bit odd NOT to allow your partner to stay in your home without you! I would honestly be insulted if my boyfriend made love to me, but was fretful about me being in his house without him.

 

How interesting how we all differ!

[hers]

I think it's a bit odd NOT to allow your partner to stay in your home without you! I would honestly be insulted if my boyfriend made love to me, but was fretful about me being in his house without him.

 

How interesting how we all differ!

 

i woudl too. he could be all up in me but woudl worry about what i'd do when i'm alone with his stuff? insulting is a good word for it.

[Lamour detruit]

To be honest, I couldn't really care less about this. Clearly, if the relationship is new, I am not going to allow it that easily. But as some time goes on (two months, perhaps), I have no issue with them just hanging around, sleeping in my bed when I am not there if she feels like it, and what not.

[Longview01]

The reason why I asked this question in the first place was because that my bf of 2 months started to leave me alone in his house which he shared with another couple. I don't know if this is because he is indeed a relaxed guy and trusts me a lot or it's just the norm. Of course I appreciate it and always make the bed and tidy up the room a bit after I get up, but when I try to put myself in his shoe...since I'm living in a dorm now so I literally can't have overnight guest, and I really don't know what I'd do if I could.

 

Think you just answered your own question lol

 

Its good, he trusts you in his own personnal space, try not to overthink everything

[SpeedingCars]

After about a week or two of sleeping at his place (been dating him for roughly 3-4 months), he eventually left the spare key on the counter for me to come and go as I please because he had to wake up early for work.

 

He hasn't officially 'given' me the key though, but he does allow me to stay in bed while he goes to work.

 

I agree with most of the people here: if you trust him enough to sleep with him, he should be able to stay at your place without a doubt in your mind of, "Should I trust him enough?"

 

And vice versa... if he trusts you enough to bring you over to his place and have you sleep there, I think it's a given that he should let you stay while he goes to work.