Having trouble taking things slow... need some advice

[Deejmonster]

So I came out of a long term relationship in December and I am now with a new and way better girlfriend... but I find that I am having trouble taking things slow.. its like my mind is still used to what I had in the past relationship and I catch myself a lot almost trying to move things a little quicker than my new girlfriend would like. We have been seeing each other for about 3 weeks now... and although my behavior is not noticeable to her.. its noticeable to me... Did anyone else have this problem? Does anyone know how I may be able to break the habit and take things slower? I don't want her to run off cause she thinks im strange... cause she is a really nice and balanced girl. A definite keeper... I don't want to mess this up but I'm not sure of how to slow down.

[Shylight]

The best thing for you to do is to step back and remind yourself that this is a NEW girlfriend, and she doesn't know you all that well and can get scared off if you move to fast. Keep watching your actions and make sure you do things to her comfort level

[bri427]

Us girls have the same problems lol, i went thru that wit the next guy after my ex fiance. it was so hard not to fall in the old habits. Its like i was forcing my new relationship to be up to par wit what i JUST had...the thing is, you need to develop that in the right timing. Rushing something like this is definetely asking for potential trouble. Its hard NOT to act this way and be at that "honeymoon" stage but sadly it can scare a girl away. So i suggest just noticing more what you do or say and tone it down as best as possible. Remind ureself that this is "NEW" and u need to establish the connection on a different level then what you and ure ex had. Talking with her about this also might help as well, letting her know you really care bout her and u dont want to push her away by pushing things faster then she'd like. Communication is a key element to any good relationship good luck!

[Deejmonster]

She is aware of my ex.. but i don't also want her to think that im not over my ex by bringing her up.. cause I really am over her... this new girl is very independent.. we talk and hang out but we don't do EVERYTHING together... im also not used to this cause my ex was almost totally dependent on me being with her allllll the time.. its just a lot to take in i guess... things take time.. we discussed important matters already and she said she likes me and that i am "different" from other men she has dated. Im guessing that this is a good thing.. but im just not sure of how much time to spend with her and when to give her the independence she needs. I need to find a balance between attached and neglect...

[bri427]

There really is no clear set amoutn of time that is "right or wrong" to spend with someone you care about. I think it sounds like she would make it clear to you if she is feeling that you are pushing your limit of too much time spent together. if u feel she dont make that clear well then just remind her to be open wit you and let you kno if something like this does come up for her. We have a pretty good sense of knowing if somone is over their ex or not so unless she has specified she thinks ure not, then it dont sound like u have too much to worry bout there.