OK, contacting an old crush ... yes or no?

[Celadon]

At the risk of being terribly cliche, I find myself thinking about a guy who I went to high school with (loooong time ago) and had a crush on. We never dated and weren't even really friends, though we shared some common school activities.

 

Now it's many moons later, and I saw him in town and I find myself VERY curious about him.

 

So ... I face that age-old dilemma: Do I try to contact someone from long ago, or is that just WEIRD? I fully recognize I don't know him from Adam at this point. He could be a kook, he could be totally rude, he could be desperate, or an addict.

 

I tend to be one of those people who feels very uncomfortable leaving stones unturned, though. I'm wondering if I'd regret not contacting him?

 

Here are some facts:

- He's not married. Don't know if he's seeing someone.

- I have a friend who apparently knows him and she might mention it to him that I saw him

 

What do you think I should do? I figure I've got about three options

 

1. Do nothing, 'cuz it's stupid to contact total strangers even if you knew them in high school

2. Try to get more info from my acquaintance friend

3. Just bite the damn bullet and email him. In other words, just be friendly and see what happens.

 

Thanks................

[Tanzi]

Well if you think you may regret not contacting him what have you got to lose? I don't think it is so weird when you have seen him recently (even if he doesn't realise that). ...sometimes curiosity gets the better of us. It may seem a little weird if it was a really random contact but as long as you mention you saw him in a performance recently and that you were curious I don't see that it is a problem. Just make sure that you are prepared for what you might hear (ie. he has a girlfriend). What about Facebook? A lot of people contact old aquaintences through Facebook.

[eggplant47]

I reunited briefly with my first high school love (never actually dated but were friendly) when we bumped into each other at a party. Turns out he's a raging pot head & he has yet to really get into a career It was actually a pretty boring conversation.

 

I wish I hadn't run into him... I was happier with the dreamy, romanticised version of him that I had remembered so fondly.

[minou]

It wouldn't be weird of you to do that. You never know. I know you weren't involved but here are some fun stories.

 

link removed

[RedDress]

I agree with the Facebook thing. That's why it's so popular!

 

Go get yourself a Facebook account! lol

[Celadon]

I appreciate the encouragement to contact him, everyone. Thanks.

 

I reunited briefly with my first high school love (never actually dated but were friendly) when we bumped into each other at a party. Turns out he's a raging pot head & he has yet to really get into a career It was actually a pretty boring conversation.

 

I wish I hadn't run into him... I was happier with the dreamy, romanticised version of him that I had remembered so fondly.

Yeah, I need to think about this. I *do* have that dreamy, romanticized view of hm in my head.

 

Mind you, I've matured since then as far as what I value and respect in other people, and I'm sure he's changed too/ BUt that's part of what I'm interested to see.... It could be cool.

 

I'm also thinking about the Facebook thing ... I do have an account, but I'm not sure (yet) if I'd want him to be my FB friend. The people I've got on FB are pretty close and I share some things I don't generally share with other people ... I guess I could always send him a message, though ...

[Tanzi]

Well there is a likelyhood that you may end up disappointed or miffed (if maybe that he has a gf). However you don't know him enough to be hurt and you would soon move on. You may well lose the romanticised image you have of your school boy crush so you need to weigh this up against the feeling of regret if you don't contact him.

 

You could always email him through Facebook instead of going straight into adding him as a friend.

[Celadon]

Yeah, I have very little invested in this so far, that's true jellybaby. Good point. I think there's an element of fear, if I'm honest. I was talking about my being disappointed with him, but what if I reach out and then *I* turn back into that awkward high school girl I once was?

[soporcogitavi]

Well, personally I'm a romantic at heart, so I would go with yes, absolutely, get out of your comfort zone and do it, you have nothing to lose.

[Celadon]

I was talking with my friend today and she didn't mention anything about talking to him about me, so I guess I'm definitely on my own there. She did say he was nice, though.

 

So now that I've talked about contacting him so much, I almost feel like I owe it to myself to follow through!

[Tanzi]

So now that I've talked about contacting him so much, I almost feel like I owe it to myself to follow through!

 

I think you do too ... keep us posted!!

[groovygreen]

Well, i think the final decision has to be one that you FEEL right with. You may think that it would be nice to get in touch or not but a different story in terms of what you feel. i personally say do what you FEEL!

 

if you really are intrigued and like this guy even if at the least just as a friend, then i'd go for number 3. If you're prepared for the worst (and that could just be he ignores you/is with someone etc) then just keep that in mind. Over time people do change, it is a fact of life and it can sometimes be good and/or bad but who knows what may come of it.

 

It's not an easy decision to make so that's why i say, follow what your heart says, if you think but not feel, then i reckon it might not work in your favour. Just have a warm greeting and (for now) keep the content brief.

 

i hope things work out for you guys even if you can be just friends. Would love to know how it eventuates.

 

Before you email, you could (if you felt comfortable to) ask some more info of your acquaintance friend.

 

God Bless!

[waveseer]

Just call him and say hi. Tell him you were in town and being there made you curious how he's been. Most people would respond favorably to that approach (unless there's some negative history they haven't gotten over).