Do good looking people really have it easier?

[LightbulbSun]

Well, my social anxiety is weird.

 

I'll give an example of when I don't have social anxiety: If I walk into a store, pick up all my groceries, and then go up to the cash register and check out. I can appear VERY outgoing then with the person checking my groceries out, and can carry on full conversations and small talk about various things. People have even commented on how friendly and nice I am.

 

Now, take that situation, and have a customer approach me. This is an unknown, and since I can't control the conversation, I feel helpless. I'm afraid that I'll get judged, and so I stumble over my words, shake, get a panic attack. This happens every time, whether it's in a store, in a park, etc. If a random person approaches ME, I get nervous. If I approach THEM, then I'm fine.

 

I'm not sure why I get so nervous when the roles are reversed. It's something I'm going to bring up with my therapist, the next time I see him. I know I used to have even worse SA, where even when I was approaching someone, I got nervous. So at least things have gotten a bit better, at least to the point where I can cope.

 

However, approaching women I'm interested in is also a no-go, because the 'no approach anxiety' only applies to guys and women I don't find attractive. If I find her sexually attractive, I shut down. And since I don't want to date someone I'm not sexually attracted to, I never approach anyone (and if they approach me, there's that social anxiety again with the panic attacks.)

 

I've also found that I'm most comfortable talking to women in their 50's and older. Maybe because I don't want to date them?

[xyzzzz]

what's that example for? which one is supposed the good-looking one?

It was quite amused so see gohabsgo say "im better looking than you" lol usually people dont point it out haha

and by the way is his avatar his own photo?

[pinkelephant]

dude, my ex boyfriend is probably the ugliest guy i've ever seen. and he's a total player. if he can get chicks, so can you. i'm tempted to post a picture, but just take my word for it.

 

 

but yes, good looking people have it easier. my bestfriend is drop dead gorgeous and most things she get just like that *snap finger*, i have to work for. like travelling. her modeling job gets her to milan in a heart beat. i have to save up for that business.

[thathoopla]

Easier, yes.

 

Easy, no. Everyone has things to deal with.

[big greg]

I don't have anything worthwhile to contribute to this thread, but this right here describes me to a T. Every word. I've never been able to come up with nor have heard a more accurate description of my SA.

[Crush85]

Of course good looking peole have it easier. It's a huge advantage in life. So when good looking people complain and say, "oh, believe me it's not easy," or "it's not always fun being hit on," then they obviously haven't been on the other side of the fence before.

[Go Habs Go]

Of course good looking peole have it easier. It's a huge advantage in life. So when good looking people complain and say, "oh, believe me it's not easy," or "it's not always fun being hit on," then they obviously haven't been on the other side of the fence before.

 

 

What about those that have been on both sides?

[Belle]

... and in answer to the thread title - NO NO NO. I am considered good looking and my life has not been any easier because of it.

 

Ammy

 

I dunno, I think Go Habs Go may be better looking than you...

[HeartGoesOn]

This thread has run its course.