Do good looking people really have it easier?

[quirky]

They do to start with but after a while it's all about personality. And yes I can see how they are seen as "trophy" sometimes and that must be annoying if nothing else. I'd like to be super attractive for a day just so I can see myself in the mirror and not find many flaws. But then again my ex looked like a model and he seemed more insecure than me back then. So I guess everyone faces their own difficulties.

[MACaddict]

I have not read all the replys to this post, but do you know if she is into guys that are gorgeous as her? I could only wonder that if an average guy would approach her, would she give him the time of day? I know you said she is a nice girl and all, but when it comes to dating things are so different.

[LightbulbSun]

There's no denying that good looking people have it easier, however sometimes the good looking person with low self esteem doesn't have it easy at all.

 

I'm just now accepting that I'm a good looking guy; however, being shy/having low self esteem is a relationship killer. Women don't want to give you a chance unless you're Mr. Extrovert with tons of dating success.

 

(Oh, and I'm not being bitter, I'm just realistic.)

[Go Habs Go]

There's no denying that good looking people have it easier, however sometimes the good looking person with low self esteem doesn't have it easy at all.

 

I'm just now accepting that I'm a good looking guy; however, being shy/having low self esteem is a relationship killer. Women don't want to give you a chance unless you're Mr. Extrovert with tons of dating success.

 

(Oh, and I'm not being bitter, I'm just realistic.)

 

 

I've never had that problem and not to sound arrogant or be a d*ck, but I'm pretty sure I'm better looking than you. If you're good looking, you can get away with being shy. Being shy instead of extroverted does make things a bit more challenging, but it doesn't eliminate possibilities by any means.

[MD Geist]

Do more people approach attractive people? Yes.

 

Does that make it any easier to find a compatible partner? No.

 

Yes I couldn't have said it better.

[LightbulbSun]

I've never had that problem and not to sound arrogant or be a d*ck, but I'm pretty sure I'm better looking than you. If you're good looking, you can get away with being shy. Being shy instead of extroverted does make things a bit more challenging, but it doesn't eliminate possibilities by any means.

 

Well, I guess the only hope I have is to become a successful musician, and then girls will flock to me like crazy. Even John Lennon had girlfriends, despite being geeky looking.

[Go Habs Go]

Well, I guess the only hope I have is to become a successful musician, and then girls will flock to me like crazy. Even John Lennon had girlfriends, despite being geeky looking.

 

 

But are those the types of girls you want? Those that want you only because of your social status and fame?

[LightbulbSun]

But are those the types of girls you want? Those that want you only because of your social status and fame?

 

It beats having no girls at all.

[Go Habs Go]

It beats having no girls at all.

 

 

I respectfully disagree. That's your opinion and that's cool, but I'd rather be alone than have girls chase me only because of my status, fame, or because they see other girls after me and want what they can't have.

[LightbulbSun]

I respectfully disagree. That's your opinion and that's cool, but I'd rather be alone than have girls chase me only because of my status, fame, or because they see other girls after me and want what they can't have.

 

Well, you're 21, and you've had a girlfriend before. I'm 27, and haven't even had a first kiss. I'd welcome a girl chasing me because of my social status or because I can write a killer song at this point, over being single for the next 27 years.

 

It's NOT the same.

[givinggirl]

I respectfully disagree. That's your opinion and that's cool, but I'd rather be alone than have girls chase me only because of my status, fame, or because they see other girls after me and want what they can't have.

 

I agree. I want someone to love me for me as a person, not for what I have.

[LightbulbSun]

I agree. I want someone to love me for me as a person, not for what I have.

 

I want that, too. And that's why being single hasn't bothered me until I was 24 or 25.

 

However, it gets to the point where you're craving any type of intimacy, even that is fake, that it doesn't really matter anymore.

 

I'm piss poor broke, but at this point I'd welcome a golddigger if I was rich.

[Go Habs Go]

Well, you're 21, and you've had a girlfriend before. I'm 27, and haven't even had a first kiss. I'd welcome a girl chasing me because of my social status or because I can write a killer song at this point, over being single for the next 27 years.

 

It's NOT the same.

 

 

The situations may be different, but if you're quick to accept a girl because she's attracted to your status or fame, you're in for a very rude awakening.

[LightbulbSun]

The situations may be different, but if you're quick to accept a girl because she's attracted to your status or fame, you're in for a very rude awakening.

 

If I get a first kiss or lose my virginity over it, I wouldn't be too fussed, to be honest.

[givinggirl]

If I get a first kiss or lose my virginity over it, I wouldn't be too fussed, to be honest.

 

I know that you believe what you say, but after that were to happen, I think you would have different thoughts. It's not fun to know that you wasted time on someone that could care less about you. I've had experience with this.

[Go Habs Go]

If I get a first kiss or lose my virginity over it, I wouldn't be too fussed, to be honest.

 

 

You do what you have to do. You may get the short-term satisfaction, but you're going to feel used and miserable in the long run.

[LightbulbSun]

You do what you have to do. You may get the short-term satisfaction, but you're going to feel used and miserable in the long run.

 

Sorry for my cynical attitude. I'm in a very bad mood today, and I have a bad headache.

 

You're probably right, but honestly, I don't want to be 30 and in this same position. I realize that things could change in a second, but as you've said, you're probably more attractive than me, so you have more opportunities.

 

I'm sure I would have opportunities, if I got over my anxiety issues, since plenty of girls have crushed on me once they've gotten to know me. And I seem to make friends easily...once I get over the awkwardness. My issue is just getting over the social anxiety, so that I can 'move forward' for once, and not be stuck in this perpetual cycle of being dateless and feeling sorry for myself.

 

However, shyness is an unattractive quality, regardless of how attractive the person is. And that's usually how it goes. Average looking people who are extremely outgoing usually have better luck with women/men, than good looking people who are shy and/or awkward. And forget it if you're average looking and shy and awkward...you're pretty much doomed then (unless you run accross a girl who's as shy and awkward as you, or has been in that situation and understands.)

 

I understand that entertainment doesn't reflect real life, but just look at the season finale of The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon met a girl who's as out in left field as he is, and suddenly...they're both interested in each other. I think that show has a form of realism to it that other shows don't, and it's true that sometimes the geeky and/or socially awkward can fall into a relationship. It just takes longer for them, but it DOES happen.

 

I'm sort of regretting my past few posts, but I'm not going to edit them, even if I still have the choice to.

[Belle]

but I'm pretty sure I'm better looking than you.

 

Meow........

[Maverick44]

Looks attract, personality keeps. That's my opinion.

[bish0p2004]

but I'm pretty sure I'm better looking than you.

 

lol...wow...really?

[glucoze]

Why don't you just find someone and do the 'friends with benefits' thing?

[LightbulbSun]

Why don't you just find someone and do the 'friends with benefits' thing?

 

I'm pretty sure I'm not hot enough to do the 'friends with benefits' thing. As GoHabsGo accurately pointed out.

 

I'm sure I could get a girlfriend, if people got to know my personality. However, how do I get past the barrier of being shy so women can see what's inside?

 

At least good looking people have people hitting on them for their looks. Average looking guys have to work a little bit harder.

[LightbulbSun]

And another thing...I don't just want sex. So a friends with benefits situation wouldn't be ideal, because she wouldn't be my girlfriend. And I probably would want more, and it would make things weird.

 

How many times do I have to say it? I want a girlfriend. I don't care about my virginity, except if it stops me from getting a girlfriend.

[bulletproof]

However, how do I get past the barrier of being shy so women can see what's inside?

 

You work really hard at getting rid of the shyness. All you would have to do is google social anxiety and you'll get a million hits telling you how to help yourself. Living with it and hoping someone will look past it is probably not going to work as well.

[Ammy]

Yes you can get over social anxiety and shyness. I am living proof both as someone who has gotten over it and as a therapist who has treated quite a few people with full blown social anxiety. It's about challenging your beliefs about what others will think about you and putting yourself in situations that provoke anxiety to learn that they really aren't so bad and habituate to the anxiety.

 

I did it, so can you!

 

... and in answer to the thread title - NO NO NO. I am considered good looking and my life has not been any easier because of it.

 

Ammy