Do good looking people really have it easier?

[chelsea13]

One thing is that I get really annoyed at pretty people complaining about how guys approach them just for their looks etc... you are getting approached, pursued, asked out... you have a choice.

Consider some of us out there who don't even have choices.

If you're sick of guys going after you just for looks, then pursue the guys you want yourself... you will get a lower chance of being rejected

Whereas for an average girl, there's a higher chance of her getting rejected

[Miss Firecracker]

One thing is that I get really annoyed at pretty people complaining about how guys approach them just for their looks etc...

 

Yes, the problems some people have. Poor things. I would hate to have that to deal with.

[LightbulbSun]

Yes, the problems some people have. Poor things. I would hate to have that to deal with.

 

Yeah, or good looking guys that say, "It's not all about looks." Brilliant analogy there. An above average looking guy telling an average guy, who obviously doesn't get approached by girls like the above average looking guy, that it's not all about looks.

 

 

[believeme]

I think they do.

but i think it mostly depends on their confidence level.

[Mavh25]

This thread insinuates that all men approaching attractive woman are jerky jerkovskis... thats the impression I get, but in most cases people are drawn to eachother through attraction so I really don't see the issue. Maybe she should actually start giving people a chance instead of judging.

[Curious_Girl]

I agree with your friend. I get looked at a lot - to the point that people who barely know me have pointed it out - but am seldom approached, unless I am at a bar and it is drunk guys!

 

I will admit that it is at least partly my fault. I have found that if I am friendly and approachable, which is actually my natural personality, a lot of guys take that as serious interest, and start hitting on me heavily.

 

I don't know if I am expressing this well. What I mean is, they seem to think that I have a sexual interest (or maybe they are projecting, lol) and start making crude comments or standing way to close or drooling down my top!!

 

Because of this, I have developed a cooler demeanor, which I realize does not work in my favour. If I am interested, I do have to make an effort to seem approachable.

 

Funnily enough, I never thought I was all that attractive b/c guys never hit on me, and then I realized that they just don't approach! But it took me until my mid-20s to figure that out.

 

I am also picky about who I spend time with anyway, and would rather be alone that with someone I don't really like. It is important to me to be with someone who is intellectually compatible, as well as physically attractive to me.

 

P.S. congrats on yesterday's win! one more to go...

[Curious_Girl]

It doesn't always help. Sure, I get approached all the time but rarely by guys I'd be interested in. Many guys think that I wouldn't give them the time of day because they aren't hot and that's not true. In fact guys I am attracted to aren't really the traditionally good looking men.

 

Me too! I really go for that skinny, intellectual look, lol! The really muscular, tranditionally good-looking guys that other women go crazy for just don't do it for me. Unfortunately, the type of guy that I like is usually pretty shy - I guess cos most women don't go nuts over them, ha ha!

[glucoze]

Me too! I really go for that skinny, intellectual look, lol! The really muscular, tranditionally good-looking guys that other women go crazy for just don't do it for me. Unfortunately, the type of guy that I like is usually pretty shy - I guess cos most women don't go nuts over them, ha ha!

 

We are the exact same. HAH

[Cognitive_Canine]

One thing is that I get really annoyed at pretty people complaining about how guys approach them just for their looks etc... you are getting approached, pursued, asked out... you have a choice.

Consider some of us out there who don't even have choices.

If you're sick of guys going after you just for looks, then pursue the guys you want yourself... you will get a lower chance of being rejected

Whereas for an average girl, there's a higher chance of her getting rejected

 

I love it when men approach me for my looks. I hate it when they approach me for my vagina.

[DanDee]

I love it when men approach me for my looks. I hate it when they approach me for my vagina.

 

Aren't the two interlinked?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Aren't the two interlinked?

 

No. Not really.

 

There is a difference when a guy approaches you when he's attracted to your face or legs rather than attracted to the fact that you are a woman.

[greywolf]

Aren't the two interlinked?

 

of course not. Ugly women have vaginas too.

[Helis4life]

of course not. Ugly women have vaginas too.

 

i hate to point out the obvious but its genetics to find a mate to breed with, without a vagina there would be no breeding. so yes on a very basic level a man chooses a woman because she has a vagina. That isnt the only reason of course otherwise he would pick the first one he came accross(assuming she was keen)

 

And in this discussion there are too many outside factors relating to attractivness. Firstly whether someone is attractive is determined by who is percieving them. There is no universal standard for beauty. Secondly that a persons ease or difficulty in life can be attributed to their looks because you, the observer, find them attractive. This seems to me to be a gross over generalization.

 

I am a firm believer that a persons success or lack there of in life, dating, career or anything else can be attributed, almost exclusively, to one thing: attitude.

 

To the OP: Your female friend who is unable to determine whether a guy is approaching her for her looks or because he is genuinely interested i think should take a moment to consider that the dating process is essentially a selection process, and you date someone to get to know them, get to understand their intentions, get to see if your compatible. Some people approaching her will just want to bed her, others will want a long term relationship with someone and approach her because she is attractive. By assuming she doesnt have inbuilt ability to be able to immediately determine which is which (no one else does either btw) and that she needs to close herself off to the male population, she is essentially the curator of her own self imposed singleness

 

Do attractive people have it easier? From my perspective whether they have success of failure depends on more then if someone else thinks they are good looking

[randomgirl59]

Yes. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Studies have proven it.

 

That's not to say they don't have their own set of problems though. Attractive people, at least when dating, usually have to deal with more weirdos and players approaching them, as well as just extremely superficial people...so they have to sniff them out and be more cautious. Kinda like celebrities having to watch out when non-celebrities want to date them. Do they want to date them because they have genuine interest? or because they are rich and famous? That's why so many celebrities date other celebrities.

 

At least when you aren't attractive you dont have to worry about that as much, but its harder to find someone overall.

[Go Habs Go]

The reason I brought this up was because I thought good looks wasn't as easy as some people made it out to be. It can be quite beneficial at certain times, but I'd figure it has its cons as well.

[bruinsy81]

The reason I brought this up was because I thought good looks wasn't as easy as some people made it out to be. It can be quite beneficial at certain times, but I'd figure it has its cons as well.

In my opinion being a good looking guy doesn't have the same advantages as being a good looking woman .Good looking women will usually get approached by men frequently since there certainly are many men out there who are not shy.So,in my opinion a good looking woman doesn't have to do as much work to attract a partner as a shy good looking man.In my opinion an extreoverted average looking man who isn't afraid to apporach women and ask them out will have more success than a shy good looking man.

[Go Habs Go]

In my opinion being a good looking guy doesn't have the same advantages as being a good looking woman .Good looking women will usually get approached by men frequently since there certainly are many men out there who are not shy.So,in my opinion a good looking woman doesn't have to do as much work to attract a partner as a shy good looking man.In my opinion an extreoverted average looking man who isn't afraid to apporach women and ask them out will have more success than a shy good looking man.

 

 

I agree to an extent. With good looking women, I don't think there's a middle ground with being approached. Either they're always approached, or never. Women in general don't have to do much work, but I think that's slowly starting to change. You're seeing more and more women approaching, as well as some men deciding to not even bother.

 

But I do agree that a shy man and a shy woman are not the same. A shy man is told to man up and change his ways, even if that's who he is. A shy woman is told that the right man will approach her. It's not right and it's quite offensive as a man, but it's just another double standard.

[whiskeyslick]

Well it's not different for men. Shy men are afraid to approach and for this reason will be shut out of any dating possibilities no matter what they look like. Women have the advantage in that if they can as you say dress up do her her etc, she can change the situation. No matter how a man makes a change, if he is shy, he is done.

[Go Habs Go]

Well it's not different for men. Shy men are afraid to approach and for this reason will be shut out of any dating possibilities no matter what they look like. Women have the advantage in that if they can as you say dress up do her her etc, she can change the situation. No matter how a man makes a change, if he is shy, he is done.

 

 

You started off by saying it's not different for men, and then you mention that shy men are done where as women are not. So yes, it is different for men. Women are very capable of doing something here, but choose not to. Apparently, it's okay for a woman to be shy, but not a man.

[DanDee]

Aren't the two interlinked?

 

Just meant that they like both - looks and vagina. If they like your looks they will probably want sex from you too.

 

I think I would much rather someone like me for who I am. My personality.

[randomgirl59]

I like shy and quiet men, they just appeal to me more than outgoing ones. Double standards like that are really stupid and you'd think they'd be gone by this day and age but no..humans are too stubborn to let certain things go

[newwave]

Me too! I really go for that skinny, intellectual look, lol! The really muscular, tranditionally good-looking guys that other women go crazy for just don't do it for me. Unfortunately, the type of guy that I like is usually pretty shy - I guess cos most women don't go nuts over them, ha ha!

 

I feel better with this type. Sure, they aren't usually the cutest but they make the best boyfriends. I've dated really hot guys and most were superficial.

[friendsoulmate]

Agreed. A shy woman and a shy man are not treated the same and that's not right. Why should a shy woman be rewarded and a shy man is told to man up and gain some confidence? Just another double standard.

 

My thoughts exactly.

[friendsoulmate]

I agree to an extent. With good looking women, I don't think there's a middle ground with being approached. Either they're always approached, or never. Women in general don't have to do much work, but I think that's slowly starting to change. You're seeing more and more women approaching, as well as some men deciding to not even bother.

 

But I do agree that a shy man and a shy woman are not the same. A shy man is told to man up and change his ways, even if that's who he is. A shy woman is told that the right man will approach her. It's not right and it's quite offensive as a man, but it's just another double standard.

 

I have noticed this pattern in my observations as well. Do good looking people really have it easier? I believe they do. I have had shy crushes on many different, attractive girls in school. I remember many of them were conceited, like a princess, and they enjoyed and took advantage of the power trip from all of the extra attention given to them. This reminds me of a queen bee in a bee hive. Being physically attractive and strong=power to win at the dating game and mating game. I have observed this to be true in all of nature, including human nature.

[Jake]

But I do agree that a shy man and a shy woman are not the same. A shy man is told to man up and change his ways, even if that's who he is. A shy woman is told that the right man will approach her. It's not right and it's quite offensive as a man, but it's just another double standard.

 

Yeah I agree, it is how society functions really. I think the double standard is starting to be realized (but at a slow pace no doubt).

I don't want to come accross as conceited but this double standard (for me) during high school did NOT exist. I was very shy around pretty girls in high school and while I wouldn't say I was really good looking I must've done something right because I had girls at times openly flirt with me. I was put into some pretty awkward, embarrassing situations and girls approached in a light / silly fashion often. I never acted however out of shyness.

 

All I know is this changed in college, the double standard set in. Women don't approach and out of shyness I don't either so nothing happens. Simple as that really.

 

Some days I can't stand my shyness, I want it gone, I want some medication invented for it. But deep down it's who I am and I enjoy being less "out there" as it suits me just fine. I realize now that society views shyness as some kind of disease that needs medication, professional help or the assistance of alcohol to approach a girl.

 

I disagree, I am who I am and if I can't be accepted in society for who I am then so be it. I don't need anyones approval. *rant over*

 

 

-Jake