Do good looking people really have it easier?

[Go Habs Go]

I ran into a old female friend recently. We always got along and she is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. This was the first time I had seen her in about a year, so we obviously talked a lot and caught up with each other. She hasn't changed and I'm glad I became friends with her back when we were 13.

 

The last time I saw her was around May/June 2009. At that time, she was struggling in the dating world. She is an attractive girl, about a 9/10 IMO. Many people believe that good looking people have it easier. They believe that these people date more, have more sexual partners, and can have anyone they want.

 

Now that may be true in many cases, but what my friend brought up certainly made me think twice. She said she was either approached by everyone or no one, depending on the location. That's not so unbelievable, but she also said that she struggled to take any guy seriously. If anyone approached her or showed interest, she assumed they just wanted her for her looks and for eye candy, even if their interest was genuine.

 

She said she hasn't been in a relationship since 12th grade(this was 2005-06). I honestly feel bad for her because not only is she beautiful, but she's sweet, very intelligent, and has a lot to offer. But if a guy shows interest, she doesn't know if it's genuine or if he's just after her looks.

 

So the question is, do good looking people have it as easy as people seem to believe?

[Fudgie]

Short answer: Yes.

 

Long answer: I think it depends. I think they get more interest in general and are less prone to be lonely and outcasted...provided they aren't totally mean. But I can see her point, it would suck if all guys that approached you were probably just after your looks.

 

But attractive people generally do get preference when it comes to hiring and other certain perks. But you can't rely on looks alone. But it does give them that "edge".

 

I think attractiveness is a double edged sword...but it's definitely better to have it than not.

[misssmithviii]

Why would you feel bad for her? She's probably not taking an easy liking to guys who approach her because she really wants to feel like someone is into who she is, not how beautiful she is. I mean, a guy approaches a woman from accross the street because he finds her attractive - and if she gets this a lot, it really gets annoying.

 

I had that "everyone or no one" syndrome too - when I was at school I didn't get much attention except from girls. But the moment I stepped off campus I was hit on like white on rice it was ridiculous. It still happens and depending on how I'm approached, I'll either flip them off (I can't stand being treated like meat) or I say politely to his compliment "You should tell my boyfriend because he agrees with you" or something to that effect.

 

I prefer to be picky with who I have a relationship with, keeps drama out of my life and I don't like feeling at all like I'm wasting my time. She very well could share that view too.

 

Also, I wouldn't compare what good-looking is because I have also been told I'm ugly as h*ll because I'm not blonde or have a ridiculously huge rack or whatever. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder

[addictedblue]

Well when she gets hit on by everyone, she has a choice of tons of guys. It isn't that hard to figure out when a guy just wants sex and when he's genuine...she has to just weed out the horny players. Less or unattractive girls get hit on less so they have less choices. I guess though when a girl isn't conventionally attractive and has a guy hit on her, it's probably because of her personality. For a really attractive girl the initial draw from guys is probably because she's hot which might just make them force themselves to like her personality.

[daffodil444]

i'd say yes and no. interesting how your friend spoke about being either approached by everyone or no one depending upon location. in the latter situation it may be a negative if people aren't approaching her because they're unfairly assuming she's a snob or something (which from your description of her it sounds like she's far from it).

[Cognitive_Canine]

Do more people approach attractive people? Yes.

 

Does that make it any easier to find a compatible partner? No.

[Go Habs Go]

Do more people approach attractive people? Yes.

 

Does that make it any easier to find a compatible partner? No.

 

 

But even that isn't necessarily the case.

[ProtestTheHero]

Yeah, they have it easier. Oh, how difficult and trying it must be to be so attractive that you have to wade through the interest of dozens of people before you can find the one that you feel is worth your attention or has the depth you require.

 

It's not easy for anyone to find someone that they really mesh with, but it certainly helps your odds when you get more opportunities and chances to test that out. I think the attractive people that would complain have nothing substantive to base it on here.

[Cognitive_Canine]

But even that isn't necessarily the case.

 

That is true.

 

If you aren't taking good care of yourself. Dressing poorly, not taking care of your skin/hair, or not staying clean cut will nullify your natural good looks. At the same time, a mediocre looking person can look like a bombshell if they dress to their body type, take good care of their skin, teeth, and hair, or have a better personality.

 

Also, if you have a bad personality or you aren't putting yourself out there do to shyness or insecurity, then your attractiveness will not give you an edge.

[Go Habs Go]

That is true.

 

If you aren't taking good care of yourself. Dressing poorly, not taking care of your skin/hair, or not staying clean cut will nullify your natural good looks. At the same time, a mediocre looking person can look like a bombshell if they dress to their body type, take good care of their skin, teeth, and hair, or have a better personality.

 

Also, if you have a bad personality or you aren't putting yourself out there do to shyness or insecurity, then your attractiveness will not give you an edge.

 

 

That's true. You still have to take care of yourself, no matter how good your natural looks are. A certain haircut can also take away from your good looks.

 

 

Yeah, they have it easier. Oh, how difficult and trying it must be to be so attractive that you have to wade through the interest of dozens of people before you can find the one that you feel is worth your attention or has the depth you require.

 

It's not easy for anyone to find someone that they really mesh with, but it certainly helps your odds when you get more opportunities and chances to test that out. I think the attractive people that would complain have nothing substantive to base it on here.

 

 

Bitter much?

[ProtestTheHero]

Assuming of course that there are natural good looks to nullify and that dressing a 4 in fashionable clothes keeps him/her at a 7 when those clothes come off.

[newwave]

It doesn't always help. Sure, I get approached all the time but rarely by guys I'd be interested in. Many guys think that I wouldn't give them the time of day because they aren't hot and that's not true. In fact guys I am attracted to aren't really the traditionally good looking men.

[sweetdslollipop]

Yes, attractive people get hit on more often, but that extra attention is usually low quality/from people they wouldn't date in the first place. So, no, all the extra attention that attractive people get does not make it easier.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Yeah, they have it easier. Oh, how difficult and trying it must be to be so attractive that you have to wade through the interest of dozens of people before you can find the one that you feel is worth your attention or has the depth you require.

 

It's not easy for anyone to find someone that they really mesh with, but it certainly helps your odds when you get more opportunities and chances to test that out. I think the attractive people that would complain have nothing substantive to base it on here.

 

if the interest is "I wanna motorboat you", can you really call it interest?

 

I'm sure it sounds great to be sexually propositioned all the time but it really isn't.

[chelsea13]

I would have to subconsciously say a yes to this question.

For someone really attractive, at least you get choices on who you want to be with... because there ARE indeed, choices out there.

For someone who doesn't get approached at all, there's absolutely NO choices, even if I want a boyfriend - I have no choices whatsoever so no one ever approaches me or even want to get to know me more than just a mere acquaintance.

[simply]

Being attractive is useless unless you actually believe you are attractive.

 

So, her problem with dating has nothing to do with her looks, Do you honestly believe that in the last 3-4 years she hasn't met a guy she wanted to approach? I doubt it, sounds like she may have issues of her own that go far beyond her looks.

[greywolf]

If anyone approached her or showed interest, she assumed they just wanted her for her looks and for eye candy, even if their interest was genuine.

 

 

of course it's about the looks at first, and what's wrong with that? I used to feel the same way as your friend; but I was also insecure at the time and worried that no one would ever accept me for my personality.

[ProtestTheHero]

if the interest is "I wanna motorboat you", can you really call it interest?

 

I'm sure it sounds great to be sexually propositioned all the time but it really isn't.

 

Yes, it is interest, and I don't think it is all that hard to say not interested. I mean, you either turn down people with only a superficial interest in you until you find someone different or you watch people turn down you until they can look past you. One is probably more trying on one's patience and confidence than the other.

[Go Habs Go]

of course it's about the looks at first, and what's wrong with that? I used to feel the same way as your friend; but I was also insecure at the time and worried that no one would ever accept me for my personality.

 

 

Looks is what attracts the person initially. But her point was she didn't know who showed genuine interest and who simply wanted her for her looks.

[Sparkly Eyes]

It depends on the person and I agree that it also depends on where they live.

[greywolf]

Looks is what attracts the person initially. But her point was she didn't know who showed genuine interest and who simply wanted her for her looks.

 

Like I said, a lot of it has to do with insecurity. When I believed that no one would really like me for who I was, that is how I perceived everyone who approached me.

[misssmithviii]

Like I said, a lot of it has to do with insecurity. When I believed that no one would really like me for who I was, that is how I perceived everyone who approached me.

 

I respectfully disagree. I wasn't rejecting all those people because I was insecure or wondering whether they'd like my personality or not - I was pretty confident that they would. I just didn't find them attractive, or was taken at the time, or really just didn't appreciate the way in which I was approached (or rather the fact that I was "randomly" approached at all).

[greywolf]

I respectfully disagree. I wasn't rejecting all those people because I was insecure or wondering whether they'd like my personality or not - I was pretty confident that they would. I just didn't find them attractive, or was taken at the time, or really just didn't appreciate the way in which I was approached (or rather the fact that I was "randomly" approached at all).

 

I'm not talking about rejecting people. Did you read what this thread is about? The OP's friend said that she is unable to tell the difference between guys who just want her for her looks and guys who have a genuine interest in who she is.

[xyzzzz]

Your friends case still says "Pretty girls have it easier".Because she can and has everyone approach her.It's only her who cant trust guys,it;s her problem.

[capbit]

Yes.

Overall, attractive people do have it easier compared to less attractive people, as countless studies have proven. But since you're interested in the dating aspect of it, then I would say that it depends on the individual. I know a good number of unattractive people whom are always dating and have great success in their relationships. I also know attractive people whom are just the opposite. Sure they get more attention, but most of the time they're weeding out the rejects. Of course, the issue with your friend is that she seems to be weary of everyone's motives, debating whether of not their interest is genuine. Honestly, that's a personal problem and has nothing to do with looks. Dating is as easy (or difficult) as you make it.