Just need advice, any advice.

[gowiththeflow]

Alright, time to vent.

 

I've been with this girl for about nine months. I am absolutely in love with her, and she is in love with me. But after that everything gets horribly complicated. Her last boyfriend used her which put a huge gap between us in terms of trust, we worked that out in time, which I'm thankful for. She has major self-value issues. She feels worthless 99% of the time even with all the love and affection I have poured into this relationship. I have been the friend that was never there in many ways. I have never been rude or mean to her in our relationship, I have always treated her with the utmost respect and kindness.

 

The problem is, she's so messed up because of everything she's been through she can't understand why I love her, even though I've explained why in detail on various occasions. She feels she is not worth my time and effort, although she says she is not depressed. She has been like this for so long I don't think she knows anything different. The ONLY time I really feel like our relationship is salvageable is when we are together. we are not having sex, which neither of us has a problem with at the moment.

 

On a side note, she nearly developed an ED, which nearly destroyed our relationship. My naivety is telling me everything is OK with her, but I cannot be completely sure knowing that her mentality has not changed.

She wants to be perfect, an idea that I believe is highly destructive to her.

I can't separate her from this twisted world of intrinsic things without making her hate me, and I cant just leave her to her own devices because I love her so much, she is my first true love.

 

I already admitted to myself that someday she will hate me because she does not understand why i feel the way I do. I cant decide if it is more destructive to stay with her or leave. To make matters worse, our senior prom is this saturday.

 

please, any advice will help. I'm so lost.

[simply]

Maybe lack of sex is the problem... but seeing how you talked about "senior prom" would probably mean either of you know what your missing anyway.

 

To be fair, it honestly sounds like a typical teenager. depressed, unsure of themselves, and obsessed with perfection without knowing the true definition of that word. Another words, these issues sound like phases.

 

All I can say is that perfection is in her head, and no matter how much reassurance you give her, (which you given her as much as anyone can give) it won't change a thing.

So maybe it's time for some tough love, or try something new with your relationship. You can't keep doing the same thing while expecting different results.