What happened to my wife??

[bumedout]

Well lets get to the point. I have been with my wife for three years married for eleven months. In Jan. of this year we had a tubal reversal done so we could have children. On good friday we found out we were preagnant. I was happy as I looked at the test, with her it was instant fear and worry. She did explain to me that in her prior preagnancies that she hated everyone, except her children and her best friend aka her sister. Well since the good news, she decieded to move out to her friends house and wants to have little communication with me. If I talk about our realationship with her she gets mad, and also tells me to go find another woman and have sex. She just told me tonight as she was gaging that our realationship is done. This is my first marrage and child. Iam 38 years old she is 31. I love her very much, we have been through alot in three years. I have done as she has asked and not bothered her, except when she came for the dog tonight. I dont want to loose her but wow is she ever pushing me away hard. Very confused????? Help

[DN]

She needs professional help that unfortunately you can't give her. I would give let her go and make sure that you father the child when s/he arrives. Unless she somehow comes around you may have to think about a divorce.

[d24]

sounds more like she was using you to conceive. sorry

that's not normal behaviour by any stretch of the imagination

[Bella20]

She needs to get some prozac

[iBroken]

Sounds like the baby might not be yours and she has panicked........

[bumedout]

Sounds like the baby might not be yours and she has panicked........

Ya I ran that by her after she went out to her friends and she said that during our relationship she had never thought about cheating on me till now and if there was any possible way It could be someone elses baby she would be more than happy to say so not to mention that I was never suppose to ask her that because her sons father did and had two dna test done and turned out to be his.

[abitbroken]

Could she be having major hormonal issues? It doesn't happen to all women, but pregnancy can be a doozy for some gals. Also, I would say for some people, fear and uncertainty can be normal emotions when one gets pregnant. Anyway, I wouldn't automatically assume she is cheating.

 

if you have been through "a lot" in three years - do you mean that it has been a roller coaster??

 

Anyway, not sure what to advise. Normally I would say leave her alone to get herself sorted out but with a pregnancy and baby on the way for you, I am not sure.

[bumedout]

When we met I was a disater waiting to happen. Drinking alot, partying. I was single man. We were both fairly broke. But since then I have cleaned up my act went back to work, began renovating the house and had planned on an addition recently for our family. She found a good paying job. But recently found out she might be loosing it and has to step down in positions for less pay. I might add that her childhood was terrible in anyway you can imagine. She has never had a good man or honest. Which I am very honest in every aspect of our realationship. As far as good I would think of myself as decent with slight faults. My opinion of myself I might add. lol I have decided to remain with her or at her beckonning call tell the baby is born then if she still feels the same I will have to face the facts. But that does not mean that I cant be the best father in the world for my child. Thanks for the advise all and if there is more keep it coming plz.

[teabee]

Hey burnedout, I think she has psychological problems. I thought this even before you said she had an awful childhood. I agree with DN that she needs professional help. Has she ever gotten any?

[bumedout]

She has in the past. But as soon as I had mentioned marrage counsilor she would have no part. She said it was to late and that she had already talked to people and counsilors at her job. P.s. sorry for the typos I excell in math. Carpenter by trade we do not usually type alot. lol

[teabee]

I don't know what would help her in this state. How have you been handling it? Try to be very encouraging, tell her you love her and you're here for her no matter what, even though it's scary. I'm thinking if you can calm her down and make her feel safe, she will be in a better place to accept help.

 

No worries about the spelling!

[bumedout]

ya lol the spelling ok. I have been seeing a marrage counsilor and he advisted me of almost the same thing, as far as my wife. Me, well it really sucks to go from a home filled with good times. To being a possible father with my own child for once, joy. To mom leaving with the other two children, I have know as my own....... To total quiet. Oh well I will keep to my goals and ambition to make a good home for my child and hopefully momma and the rest of the family. thanks for you opinion.