considering breaking up with my gf

[Jnyce2010]

Ive known my girlfriend since I was 11, but we've only been hanging out for the past year. About 8 months into hanging out we started having sex.. From having sex we decided to start a relationship. Now 4 months into the relationship we have been on the verge of breaking up twice. I am applying for law school and she is finishing her dental program, however after having a primarily sexual relationship, she has now decided to withdraw from the activity. (She attracts me to come over via the phone and then totally shuts down to any type of affection or sexual advances once I am there).She says that she is stressed out from school, and it has been like this after the first month since we began the relationship. She is saying that this will change once she graduates in May. IS THIS GOING TO CHANGE? (QUESTION TO WOMEN) I am very uncomfortable with this because I am a sexual person and I just do not believe that is a plausible reason. I am choosing to be there for her to provide support, but I am having a hard time turning down other women and I feel like that during times of stress this is going to be pattern. I just want your opinions.. Thank you so much..

[DN]

(She attracts me to come over via the phone and then totally shuts down to any type of affection or sexual advances once I am there).

Do you mean she says she wants sex (either directly or indirectly) and then changes her mind?

 

I don't think her reason is plausible at all - and if she is withdrawing because of stress then what happens any time there is a different type of stress.

 

If she has a different problem - not enough affection, attention or whatever - she should be honest enough to discuss it with you. Just withdrawing is not the mature way to deal with it.

 

I would ask her to talk about this openly and honestly and if she refuses then consider breaking up - because if she won't she is unlikely to change.

[Jnyce2010]

she directly says that she wants to have sex..she tells me to bring condoms, then she denies ever wanting to have sex..

[DN]

she directly says that she wants to have sex..she tells me to bring condoms, then she denies ever wanting to have sex..

That would be a dealbreaker for me. I would break up with her for doing that.

[RedDress]

Sex is a stress RELIEVER.

 

No... I don't think it's going to change. Sorry. And I'm a woman. I mean... I can understand being stressed. I can understand not having the time/being too stressed to get together (too much to do ie: studying). But telling you she wants sex and then yoinking it away? Repeatedly? As in, a pattern? No... not normal.

 

The other thing that is strange is that you say she 'attracts' you to come over. Do you need incentive to come over? Will you only go over if there is only sex involved? Do you need to have sex with her EVERY time you see her? If your relationship started sexually, maybe she's just trying to connect on a different level.

 

A lot of things could be going on there. May is not that far away. Do you care for her? Wait it out. You will see for YOURSELF if it's going to change.

[Jnyce2010]

Actually I told her that I am interested in more than just a sexual relationship with her..But anytime a problem occurs she just says..."all I want is sex", but what am I supposed to do I do want sex and I do care about her...I don't need incentive to come over, however sex would be incentive for me to come over since we have so little sex and I have expressed to her that I am a sexual person

[Ms Darcy]

How much sex do you have?

 

I do think the potential cheating is a separate issue. If you are on the verge, you should end the relationship immediately.

[Jnyce2010]

How much sex do you have?

 

I do think the potential cheating is a separate issue. If you are on the verge, you should end the relationship immediately.

I can count on one hand the number of times we've had sex in the past three months..little to nonexistent..