Honeymoon Phase?

[Rose21]

I'm just curious, how do you know when the honeymoon phase is over in a relationship?

 

Also wondering what signs are that the girlfriend is loosing interest.

 

I'm not saying I'm loosing interest at all, I'm getting more relaxed/carefree so maybe my insecurities and paranoia is finally going away after 2 years? In a part-time LDR. Kind of. See eachother once a month for a few months of the year (every 2-3.5 weeks) and than get long periods like 4-6 months to see eachother non-stop. After college, we plan on getting a place together and engaged. Marriage is deffinatly in the future, but not until we both graduate. I don't want to get married before I'm 25. And although I like kids, I don't really want them. I'm 95% sure. I never have. If I change my mind, it wont be til I'm 35! ATLEAST.

 

But I have absolutly no interest in seeing other guys, ending it with my boyfriend, (actually can't imagine my life without him!) And our sex life is still very passionate.

 

What does everyone think?

[jengh]

I think you're just getting comfortable in the relationship... and that's good. Honeymoon stages vary depending on the particular relationship, but I would estimate 3 months to a year. In your case, I'd probably say a year due to the partial LDR factoring in.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think after several months. He was my partner and my best friend and less of an 'interest'. We were pretty solid by that point.

 

I think your relationships sounds good but I'm confused by what you are asking. What is your question here?

[Seraphim]

It is not lack of feeling but more a level of comfort. It is a good thing.

 

It is something is different in length for all people....I think for us it was a few years anyway....being comfy is good though........and it is my 16th anniversary this coming Fri but we have been together 21 years.

[Fudgie]

It's normal for the honeymoon phase to wear off in a relationship. It's normal and healthy. That state can't last forever.

 

I think it depends on the couple on when it will wear off...sometimes it's a matter of months, other times, it's a matter of years.

 

It took me about a month to get out of the "honeymoon" phase with my boyfriend but I'm very happy and at ease. It's a good feeling.

[Rose21]

Okay, that's what I was wondering.

 

I'm still wondering why it would of lasted 2 years though. We had our 2 year anniversery March 15th of this year, and I just started to feel this way (have slowly been getting more and more comfortable after the year mark) But it was up until, maybe a month ago when I started feeling like this and mistaking it as indifference and me wanting to move on, which scared me.

 

Feelings were like:

 

Of course I love him butt:

 

-Feel like I don't have to call him non-stop.

 

-There are ~gasp!~ times when he isn't even on my mind!

 

-I don't worry non-stop about what he's doing, if he's with another girl.

 

-If he doesn't answer the first time, I don't feel the need to panic and call him back right away again and again (although sometimes that still happens every now and than lol)

 

-Feeling like when he is here, I don't have to spend every second with him.

 

-When he leaves and I won't see him for 2-3 weeks, I don't cry or get all upset anymore. I know he is coming back.

 

 

 

I guess I was just mistaking that for loosing interest, is that not?

 

I just find it odd that it would happen all of a sudden, like after 2 years! That's a LONG time for a honey moon stage, or perhaps I am just getting more comfortable.

 

 

 

Obviously I don't think I'm loosing interest because this weekend when he came down, I'll be honest, it wasn't one of the BEST. We had a lot of fun together, but he has finals soon (I do too) but he is the type that gets REALLY stressed out/nervous right before when he knows he still has work/studying to do, and his nerves were really bothering him/his stomach, so I thought he seemed distant and I kept asking him if he loved me, and if he was loosing interest and if he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life, and when he said next semester he's going to be sharing a house with friends I say, "Well when we graduate you'll be sharing a place with me right??"

 

I don't think, (call me crazy) But if someone was loosing interest, they wouldn't even remotely care about those things.

 

I was kind of moody (more than usual) this weekend because of lack of medicine and him feeling stressed, and me taking it was directed towards me.

 

What do you think? I'm just a worry wort, I tend to over think things.

[Seraphim]

Just means you are comfortable Rose. One can not be TOTALLY consumed that one human being, takes up your entire existence and you do nothing but think of them and hound them hourly with your presence for 50+ years. NO human being does that.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think having and wanting a life outside of your partner is just part of growing up.

[HouseKitten]

Relationships go through ups and downs. They don't have to be massive tidal waves of emotion, it can be just an off day. You roll with it, and stick together. The problems come if after a prolonged period of time it is never good. That's when you worry.

 

You just sound like you're comfortable and secure in the relationship Rose. That's not something to be concerned about. Think about what you're saying here - 'I trust my boyfriend and don't worry about what he gets up to when I'm not around, is that okay?' Of course it's fine.

 

If you start feeling like you don't mind if you never see him again, or making excuses to not see him when he suggests it, that's an issue.

[Rose21]

Hmm maybe that's it than.

 

Except up until that 2 years, I DID want him around constantly. Well, after the year mark, but than I SLOWLY began to get more comfortable over time.

 

Just sometimes I mistake this as indifference because I NEVER have felt this way in a relationship, usually I am VERY insecure and needy.

 

And It worries me that when I'm not like this, I don't love him as much (crazy I know) but when I was this way, and yes it did bother him at times, I felt like there was no doubt in my mind that I was head over heels in love with him.

 

Now sometimes at bed (really just the past week or so been feeling this way)

 

I think, "What if I WASNT with him, what than. What if I was with someone else. Who would it be? how would I break up with him if I had to?"

 

And than I felt real empty inside when I was thinking this and wondered why I was thinking about it at all! gahh.

[Seraphim]

Insecure and needy ends relationships Rose, be happy for the way you feel now. Love is not always spazy throwing yourself on each other frantic to be with each other every live long second. That is INFATUATION. Love is what is happening NOW.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Mania and insecurity isn't love. It just gets in the way of love.

[Rose21]

Before the thought of breaking up with him, just the "thought" would tear me up inside and I would even start to cry at times/get teary eyed.

 

Now when I think about breaking up with him, I don't feel a whole lot. A little weird, but not a whole lot of emotion.

 

It's when I think about not ever seeing him again and being able to hold him that way, cuddle with him etc, that gets to me a lot.

 

I think maybe it is just because I AM comfortable with him, and I'm not worrying about this happening (sub consiously) because I AM with him.

 

So the thought of me breaking up with him doesn't affect me much, because I am with him and don't plan on doing it?

 

Does that make sense?

[Seraphim]

Stop worrying, your relationship is becoming more mature. Something to be HAPPY about.

[Rose21]

Lol okay.

 

Maybe it just makes me feel different, because I've never honestly had a relationship last this long, or be mature lol.

 

We have been together since we were 18, almost 19.

 

Before my longest relationship was when I was 16, 8 months off and on.

 

After that until my boyfriend, it was MAYBE 3 months. And A LOT of those 1-3 month relationships.

[Seraphim]

I can tell you it is the same things I feel and I have been with my husband 21 years

[Rose21]

That's good!!

[KG]

Stop worrying, your relationship is becoming more mature. Something to be HAPPY about.

 

Exactly! We hit 8 months, and know we don't have to be joined at the hip. We even had an argument (1st) at the Lowes stores, about the faucets for my house. It was stupid, and we laughed it off, but it was there, nonetheless.

 

I guess I would define it as "comfortable."

[Rose21]

Aw okay, that makes me feel a lot better!

 

Before I thought that infactuation, joined at the hipness meant how much loved someone..

 

That's how my uncle is with his gf, they've been dating I think a little over a year, and they are DEF in the honeymoon phase. I mean he's even been married before, has kids, and it's not like they don't see eachother everyday yet they couldn't STAND not to be in the same car as eachother, and always had to hold hands

 

A little bit much for a 45 year old man maybe??

 

He's also become a BIG jerk.

[Seraphim]

Aw okay, that makes me feel a lot better!

 

Before I thought that infactuation, joined at the hipness meant love.

 

That's how my uncle is with his gf, they've been dating I think a little over a year, and they are DEF in the honeymoon phase. I mean he's even been married before, has kids, and it's not like they don't see eachother everyday yet they couldn't STAND not to be in the same car as eachother, and always had to hold hands

 

A little bit much for a 45 year old man maybe??

 

He's also become a BIG jerk.

 

Nope, does not matter the age Rose, every new love has to go through these phases, not just you yunnins feel infatuation you know.......LOL