Do you feel this way when you read your post?

[o_hopeless_o]

I know alot of people probably do this but Im wondering if ppl feel the way i do about it. I just ran through my old post when my break up started and when i was the most weak. When I go through those posts, it hurts me. In a sense it's like I read it as if this person isnt me but someone I love with all my heart/care about and know they didnt deserve they BS trey went through. Lately I been holding up pretty good. I have gotten attention from alot of guys but nothing serious. I dont want a boyfriend right now. I been NC Since not last Tuesday but the Tuesday before. Almost two weeks. I think back and I cant believe I dealt with all this stuff I did with my ex. He was so selfish everything was always about him. Our relationship wasnt a relationship unless it was HIS TERMS. It fuels the fire sometimes but then i let it go after 10 mins. He is hardly on my mind anymore to be honest. Ive got that "Im done" feeling. No turning back. His birthday was the 21st and he turned 21. It was a really awkward day. and 2 days before he texted asking if I called but that in a different post that I still have. I dont know I geuss im just updating on my progress. Right now I have some trust issues with guys in general that I can hopefully get over soon. It just really hurts when I read some of those posts, and in my head thinking why didnt i stop talking to him sooner? but it comes out good too. Reassures me my ex was just a plain ol Ahole. I always did everything in our relationship to make it a happy one. I never did anything to purposely make him mad etc etc. It was all out of love and what I got in return was a man who was selfish or became selfish. I dont put full blame but his fraternity flipped him upside down. And I was there through it all his busy schedule etc. But you know what its okay. Ill find a guy one day who is WORTHY of all my love and attention, and will acknowledge me when im trying my best to compromise with him and do things for him and work around his life sometimes.

 

This has all been sort of a rant too, haha.

 

I hope everyone is well and remember for those who choose NC if you havent already gotten to your I dont care point. You will. Soon you wont be losing an ounce of sleep and waking up more refreshed. (I get mroe sleep these days LOL) I dont think Ill ever leave ENA itll always be a site I turn too. And the fact alot of ppl dont come back its like, nah Id rather stay around. I want to help others the way they helped me. And honestly you guys helped me out alot. Even if it was just reading a post someone posted.

 

Sorry for misspelled words or bad grammar. Im lazy haha.

[Dako]

It really feels good to read old posts or journal entries to see your progress.

Glad you're doing well.

 

My first post here shows me how confused I was when my life got scrambled.

The folks here helped me start over.

[o_hopeless_o]

It really feels good to read old posts or journal entries to see your progress.

Glad you're doing well.

 

My first post here shows me how confused I was when my life got scrambled.

The folks here helped me start over.

 

 

Indeed there is always a plus coming out of it. I was a wreck trying to scramble around to find the pieces of the puzzle so it could be complete again. Hurts to see how much I hurt but I am so glad I am strong today.

[Sarati]

I know exactly what you mean. It seems like going down into a place where we allow ourselves to be treated poorly just happens gradually, and you don't really realize how low you have gotten until you start feeling horrible, losing sleep, putting up with treatment you don't deserve. It's such an eye-opener to look at "where you were" compared to "where you are now" after you've healed from an unhealthy relationship. It's totally natural, too, for you to be more cautious about trusting men (or anyone, really). It's not like you are being paranoid, just careful, and that is healthy.

 

When I first joined ENA, I was involved in destructive relationships, and now there is no way I would allow myself (at least I hope I will be able to recognize it!) to be mistreated or to feel so badly about myself that I would "settle" for a poor relationship rather than face alone-ness. Healing feels good and it's also a little nerve-wracking when you wonder when and if you will feel ready to give love a try again...

 

I am proud of you for the progress you are making. Yea, stick with ENA, it is the best site on the net. xoxoxo

[o_hopeless_o]

When I first joined ENA, I was involved in destructive relationships, and now there is no way I would allow myself (at least I hope I will be able to recognize it!) to be mistreated or to feel so badly about myself that I would "settle" for a poor relationship rather than face alone-ness. Healing feels good and it's also a little nerve-wracking when you wonder when and if you will feel ready to give love a try again...

 

I am proud of you for the progress you are making. Yea, stick with ENA, it is the best site on the net. xoxoxo

 

yes i feel the need to be VERY careful. to share my heart is a gift. i will never completely give it away. and YES i agree so much with you and im sure everyone else does too about recognizing the next time you get mistreated and leave! haha i even told a friend "if i ever start complaining like that again remind me of this day i said i wouldnt put up with it." Haha. but yeah it is still really nerve racking im still kinda in the spot where i feel.. "Am I even able to love again? Will a guy with the things I want/need in him come around? will i even be open again?" But being alone with myself is way better then it was with my ex. I realize I am much happier with out him. I was crying more then half of the relationship. Thats terrible. Even though Im at a point where I dont care if he comes back, I am very confident the day he learns what it takes to have a real relationship he is going to say "she had all the things i needed in a girl to have that and I passed it up." Not sure if it will bring him back WHICH IS OKAY i dont plan too anyway, but Im very sure he will realize THAT at least with maybe half a teaspoon of regret LMAO. Very confident, no doubt about it. LOL. but I hope things are good with you! We are worth soo more ! THEY definitely didnt deserve US at this point in time and probably never.

 

i love ENA! haha

[Saffron_]

I know alot of people probably do this but Im wondering if ppl feel the way i do about it. I just ran through my old post when my break up started and when i was the most weak. When I go through those posts, it hurts me. In a sense it's like I read it as if this person isnt me but someone I love with all my heart/care about and know they didnt deserve they BS trey went through.

 

I deleted my old posts because I was a total basketcase as anyone who read them will testify! I looked back at some of my old journal entries as well and they were just pitiful. I tore them up because that person wasn't me. It's like you said, it was someone like me who was vulnerable and going through hell. Don't make yourself sad.

[o_hopeless_o]

I deleted my old posts because I was a total basketcase as anyone who read them will testify! I looked back at some of my old journal entries as well and they were just pitiful. I tore them up because that person wasn't me. It's like you said, it was someone like me who was vulnerable and going through hell. Don't make yourself sad.

 

Yeah same here. It was a bad moment in time for me. I dont want to remember how fragile I was. Lol funny how I made this thread then the deleting of threads policy changed LOL again ! Im glad i got the really emotionally posts gone now. I only have 3 up. and One I got real good advice. The other two counting this one isnt a big deal. Its all good.

[tg31]

I remember some of your posts. You've made leaps and bounds dawg! Remember no one can ever validate you except for you!

[o_hopeless_o]

haha Hecckss yeah! thats what its all about, show me the money! lol. Im glad I am where I am though. I totally remember you advice too. Haha I saved that thread BECAUSE of the advice I got in that thread. It was really good. So it can benefit anyone who felt that way. Thanks!

[newwave]

I think it's a great sign when people can look back and go "what was I thinking?'. I haven't reached that yet, but hope I can look back 6 months to a year from now and wonder why I was so upset. Hopefully by then either the one I like comes back (and he's ready for a serious relationship) or I am dating a better guy than he was.

[o_hopeless_o]

Id go for dating a better guy then he was ! im sure you deserve that way more then what you had before. And youll get there. Everyone has there own pace and situations. unfortunately it took me to get mad and find out petty lies. but now im not mad anymore, kinda still hurt, but happier then whenever i was with him.

[newwave]

Id go for dating a better guy then he was ! im sure you deserve that way more then what you had before. And youll get there. Everyone has there own pace and situations. unfortunately it took me to get mad and find out petty lies. but now im not mad anymore, kinda still hurt, but happier then whenever i was with him.

 

I am kind of leaning that way too, and so is my mother (she thinks he's a waste). Who knows, I might get a guy who has all my must haves, would likes, and best of all wants a serious relationship with me. Maybe next year at this time I'll be engaged (or headed that way) to this great guy, and look back and will be stunned that I was so sad about the other guy. Then I'll be looking at posts written by people going through the same thing and wondering why they don't drop the person.

[o_hopeless_o]

I am kind of leaning that way too, and so is my mother (she thinks he's a waste). Who knows, I might get a guy who has all my must haves, would likes, and best of all wants a serious relationship with me. Maybe next year at this time I'll be engaged (or headed that way) to this great guy, and look back and will be stunned that I was so sad about the other guy. Then I'll be looking at posts written by people going through the same thing and wondering why they don't drop the person.

 

No doubt. This is kinda off topic but I have a step mom. when I was at my worst I talked to her about what happened sometimes. She told me about her past relationships and one guy she was so in love with for 8 years. He cheated on her many times and lied. for 8 freaking years she dealt with that and was blinded by that guy and everything her friends or cousins would tell her. well she finally caught him in his own games and left him. it sucked cause she stopped some college cause of him but once he was gone he was gone, he begged and everything. she started school again etc. she said she got over him REALLY fast. reminding herself of all the hurt her did to her. GOING OUT as people advise here. Shes only 32/33 right now. haha oops forgot, but now she has my dad and as shes telling me this story she is just laughing her butt off. She now has a great family (us) and I have two lil sisters. and my dad is pretty much the "perfect" match for her. they go together really good. Breaks up can be a blessing in disguise.

 

Maybe that story could inspire you it did me! i was like oh heck no im determined to get over my ex ! HAHA 8 YEARS??!!!()&!(@*^ AND YOU THINK ITS FUNNY! I want to get there ! LOL!

[newwave]

That is a great story and proves that sometimes at the time we don't know what the right answer. If she had stayed with her ex she never would have dated your father. Instead she'd be putting up with her ex's behavior. Sometimes things do happen for a reason.