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Will losing weight magically change my life?


bertdru

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I have started exercising and all(just a few days ago) and I was just thinking - will it really change my life?

 

I think losing weight for men has a different meaning. Because most of the time, more weight means a guy loses his masculinity. Haven't you seen the many TV episodes making fun of manboobs and so on. So do you think that I would gain confidence and feel more like a man when I lose weight?

 

I think that right now, it is debatable whether I am a man or not. But when I lose weight, maybe women will notice me much more. And if I get a woman to notice me, that in itself will complete my life. LOL I know that sounds funny but it seems that it is the foremost goal in my life.

 

I feel so down and depressed now. Do you think therapy is not necessary when I lose weight? I certainly hope so because I don't have the money for therapy right now.

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No, it will not change your life.

 

I've lost a lot of weight and no, it didn't change my life magically. Nothing does that. If you want to change your life, you need to change your outlook. Losing weight won't do that for you.

 

Here is what WILL change:

-your self image will improve

-you'll feel better

-you'll be healthier

-your clothes will fit better

-you'll be more fit

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How much do you weigh and how much do you want to lose? How tall are you?

 

The more weight you lose relative to how big you are will give you a bigger "life change"

 

I lost significant weight and I felt a definite change in confidence (and thus, relationships), energy, mood, and obviously in anything that required me to do anything physical (eg sports, running, biking). I would say I felt a significant change.

 

But it sure isn't "magic".

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If you have zero confidence in yourself, it won't matter how much weight you have lost. Women find confident guys attractive. I've seen overweight guys with girlfriends just as much as I've seen average weight guys with girlfriends. Losing weight CAN boost confidence, but confidence comes from loving and accepting who you are holistically. By all means, lose weight if you want to do it for your health, but it's not the be all end all when it comes to attraction.

 

I have lost a significant amount of weight over the past few years, but it has mainly been for my health. While I have had a couple of girlfriends in the past year (in a relationship right now with the second girl), there was more to it than just being an average weighted guy. However, change your looks if it allows you to be confident in yourself, if it boosts your self-esteem.

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You'll feel better, reason enough isn't it ?

By the way from what I see overweight people seem to get more women than the completely skinny guys.

And you say more weight means you lose masculinity, ever noticed that the very skinny guys often look like schoolboys even tho they are in their mid 20's ? Doubt that's more masculine and the percentage of people who are in perfect shape is actualy quite low.

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Hi, Bertdru. I do think that you will gain confidence as you exercise more, get healthy, and lose weight. Of course you will feel more masculine if you do away with man-boobs (if you have them!). I, being a female, would not be feeling very feminine if I had a huge bulge between my legs, or excessive facial hair, etc. So yes, from that perspective, losing weight will probably boost your self-image as far as your masculinity.

 

I wanted to comment on your statement "And if I get a woman to notice me, that in itself will complete my life. LOL I know that sounds funny but it seems that it is the foremost goal in my life." I don't think that sounds funny at all, especially if you are in your 20s-30s. According to psychologist Erik Erikson, individuals (both men and women) between the ages of approximately 20-34, have reached a stage in their psychosocial development called "Intimacy vs. Isolation", where the focus is on making long-term commitments to other people. Once people have established their identities, they are ready to make long-term commitments to others. They become capable of forming intimate, reciprocal relationships (e.g. through close friendships or marriage) and willingly make the sacrifices and compromises that such relationships require. If people cannot form these intimate relationships--(perhaps because of their own needs)--a sense of isolation may result.

 

If you are in that age category, then you are most probably focused on finding a significant other, and it is wonderful and not at all laughable. That is not to suggest that people in other age categories aren't focused on finding their significant others or forming lasting, committed relationships with others. There are many theories about psychosocial development of the human being. Erikson's progression of stages is just one theory, but I always preferred it because it seems to ring universally true for many, many people.

 

Changing one's habits takes time. I fully support your working out, eating healthy and, in a short time, you will feel better, project more positive energy outward based on your improving self-esteem, and you'll attract more positive energy and experiences into your life. Good luck!!

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Losing weight changed my life. I was at my most miserable when I was at my thinnest. Took a therapist to point that out me, had a lot of very productive discussions based on that realization.

 

Changing your life starts in the thoughts you think and beliefs you have. If you don't change those, you can be in ideal physical shape and still be miserable.

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Yes, losing weight has helped to change my life, but that's because I invested in mental and emotional changes while I was working on my body.

 

Every day the little weight losses helped motivate me to make other changes along the way, so I can't just credit the body changes--but it was the BEST place to start.

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Yes, losing weight has helped to change my life, but that's because I invested in mental and emotional changes while I was working on my body.

 

Every day the little weight losses helped motivate me to make other changes along the way, so I can't just credit the body changes--but it was the BEST place to start.

 

well said.

 

it won't CHANGE your life... but it will help. people WILL treat you differently. and it can help provide the catalyst for other changes.

 

best of luck

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It certainly changed my life.

 

I lost about 40 lbs. and went from a chubby/fat boy (~30% body fat) to a very athletic (

 

Since then, I've been the most confident I've ever been, especially with the opposite sex. I have dating opportunities that I would have never had had I stayed out of shape.

 

But that's not the most important. You will never lose weight *and keep it off* if you try to do it for someone else, or for success with the opposite sex. I see girls starve themselves all the time when they feel self-conscious about their weight, but you can bet when they meet a guy and become happy, they will revert to their old eating habits. Similarly, I always see guys coming in the gym in springtime to work on their beach abs - those guys rarely stick with the program, because they're only motivated by superficial things.

 

Losing weight is about the *start* of a new lifestyle that you keep for the rest of your life. It's about a lifestyle balanced with exercise and reasonably healthy eating. I have kept my weight off for several years now and it's because my lifestyle supports that. I do it because I love it! I love running, playing sports, etc. - in fact my lifestyle is so active that thankfully I don't have to watch what I eat very much (because my activity consumes so many calories).

 

Losing weight is without a doubt the best thing that has happened to me in my life. I'm not exaggerating.

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all these people are correct.. and they make valid points. at 18 i weighed close to 300 lbs and i was 5'6''. confidence was shot. but the older i got, i started taking care of myself and building my confidence, by the time i was 23 i lost 110 lbs. and the lowest weight i've ever been, went from a size 24 to a 12. and i felt amazing. i had total confidence in myself, and guys said thats what makes me more attractive. now 26, still taking care of myself, i've gone out and fully enjoyed my life, i think if i didnt take that step of gaining confidence, i never would be the person i am today. stick with it stay positive, and tell yourself you are beautiful, and you are worth it. because you are! i was verbally abused my entire life, and saying "fu*k off " to my past opens a great door to my future, how i will treat my kids, and be compassionate to others who struggled where i once was. keep it up!

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If you exercise and do all other stuff to lose weight so that you can get girls then it might backfire. What if you do lose weight but still don't get a girl? Will you go back to your unhealthy ways and gain the pounds that you lost?

 

You should exercise to lose weight and be healthy. Not to get a girl.

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if you think it will change the way you view yourself? then yes, it will.

 

if you do it because you feel others are talking about you and you are doing it for them, not much difference will occur.

 

you should feel comfortable in your own skin no matter what weight you are. once you accomplish that, nothing else matters.

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I've been a yoyo weighter person for my whole life since hitting puberty. Life really is much more comfortable when I'm thin. I get more positive attention, and find myself physically more comfortable in my space because, let's face it, clothes are made for skinny people, and they fit and feel so much better on a much smaller frame.

 

The women I know who've lost weight, it changes their lives for the better. Then men, not much changed at all.

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Being a healthy weight will help your depression to some degree, but mostly in the freedom it will offer you. When you're in shape you can do fun things like join ultimate frizzbee leagues and make friends with new people. You can go for hikes, for walks, and such. You'll feel better about yourself when you look in the mirror.

 

You'll also live longer. I used to be pretty overweight too when I came out of college, and losing that 60 pounds (and keeping it off) is one of the things I'm most proud of.

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