flyguy23 Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 So I think I've been feelin a lot better about my break up. I'm jus trying to tell myself maybe things happen for a reason. I was so distraught when she and I broke up. We were together for 2 plus years. I ended up taking a new job where we started to see each other less. But we lived 45 mins away to begin with. Point I'm tryin to make is maybe there's a reason I took this job and why we broke up. Things weren't really going great with us when we were. We would fight a lot and stuff. For awhile I was blaming the job for us breaking up. But even if I never left and stayed at my old job, which is 15 mins from her, I feel like down the road we wouldve broken up. So now I'm in a new city, new people, new faces. Sometimes miss the old life but I'm being positive. Who knows where this will lead me Link to comment
flipside Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Dude, you got a clean slate ahead of you. make the best of it!!! Not sure if things happen for a 'reason'. Things are what they are more often than not. Make your own reason, if you know what I'm sayin' Link to comment
Carus Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I'll go with 'Theres reasons things happen'..... Link to comment
waveseer Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Yes, people make choices for a reason and those reasons are not always easily understood. Link to comment
newwave Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 My mom says that but I'm not sure. If this was the case why didn't I find someone sooner and why did the one I want not want anything serious now? Does this mean that my dating pool will consist of (gag) guys with kids? That truly scares me and saddens me knowing my standards might not be meant because I didn't find someone sooner (which means I'll be alone because I am not dating fathers). Link to comment
jimmajam Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I don't believe it in the way people say it. It's pretty easy to say you broke up with someone, then met someone new a year later and say everything happens for a reason. You broke up with someone and was looking and that's why you met someone new. It's all about decisions and consequences, not some mystical thing. Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I don't believe it in the way people say it. It's pretty easy to say you broke up with someone, then met someone new a year later and say everything happens for a reason. You broke up with someone and was looking and that's why you met someone new. It's all about decisions and consequences, not some mystical thing. ^ Agreed. It is the decisions based on your actions that will most likely determine your outcome. I think it's a comforting thought that your past interactions with people including relationships didn't work out because it wasn't meant to be, and if that was the case many of us wouldn't be on ENA Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I think everything happens for a reason. It might just not seem like it at the time. If I'd gone to university, I wouldn't have had four good years with my ex, seen several foreign countries and come out of my shell and learned a lot. If we hadn't then broken up, I wouldn't have learned more about what I want from a relationship. If I hadn't dated a guy who made me angry with his wishy-washy attention, I wouldn't have joined a dating site and met my boyfriend. Etc etc I think everything eventually leads to a different opportunity, so even the bad times can lead to something better or equally good. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I do think everything happens for a reason, and that when bad things happen it serves to teach us something important, because growth comes from great loss. I learnt so much about life when my ex passed away almost 7 years ago and how our relationship was. Recently, it took me to lose a baby at 10 weeks to shake me up into realising that I wasn't happy in my current relationship and it wasn't going to work. Now I am getting out of it. You would never have seen me make a choice like that 10 years ago... Link to comment
NewDater Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I think everything happens for a reason. It might just not seem like it at the time. If I'd gone to university, I wouldn't have had four good years with my ex, seen several foreign countries and come out of my shell and learned a lot. If we hadn't then broken up, I wouldn't have learned more about what I want from a relationship. If I hadn't dated a guy who made me angry with his wishy-washy attention, I wouldn't have joined a dating site and met my boyfriend. Etc etc I think everything eventually leads to a different opportunity, so even the bad times can lead to something better or equally good. very good points here Link to comment
OccultFigurine Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I don't view things as happening for a reason.....what I will say is that when your life changes, and you take up the opportunities that this flings your way then I guess in hindsight it's easy to look back and see some kind of determinism there...but I think that it's just human nature to look for patterns in things I've had good relationships and bad, but the older I get I'm more able to view my part in how those relationships turned out (or in how they ended) and to question why I spent time in unfulfilling relationships rather than leaving ( or wailing he was hooorrriiiiblle to meeee, which I am also wont to do ) I guess what I'm trying to say (and live by) is to use every opportunity life throws at you- good or bad! Link to comment
flyguy23 Posted April 25, 2010 Author Share Posted April 25, 2010 Yes all good points indeed. I'm jus sayin I have been feelin a lot better bout my breakup. She broke up with me march 1st and I'm kinda surprised about how well I'm feelin. Usually it takes me a lot longer to get over someone. But I think the main reason is I'm not chasing after her this time and I'm sticking to nc. Maybe that's what's helping. I'm jus hoping down the road this was the right decision for me to take this job here. After all she was up down for it too when I was making the decision. I'm an hour away from my new job. I'm an hour away from my old job. Thing with the old job is I was closer to her and we saw more of each other. But like I said things weren't goin well. What if we broke up down the road anyway if I didn't take this new job. Then I would be complaining about driving to work everyday and hating the fact when I'm leaving work she's only like ten mins away from me. We both agreed for me to take this job. She broke up with me. So ill see where this leads me in life. Link to comment
fuddiduddy Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Well, like I just told my therapist the other day: "Doc, I'm beginning to think a lot of things are random. The only 'reasons' that exist are those manufactured in our minds." Yes, I might be wrong. And actually......I hope I am. Link to comment
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