been 5 months

[mmmd]

CANNOT get her out of my head.

 

we didn't even date for much more than a month.

 

i have no idea why i liked her so much.

 

hit on her at a party, we hit it off... but i did most of the talking so it wasn't like she was wowing me with her intellect. she was smart, but so what? after that night i was infatuated with her.

 

next time i saw her i was disappointed with her looks... i found her very sexy ultimately, but at times she'd look unattractive to me. either way, i wasn't blinded by beauty.

 

we weren't even perfect for each other. she was so quiet and i like to goof around and be an idiot. if i had stayed with her, it would've driven me crazy how serious she was all the time.

 

seriously though, i have no idea why i can't stop thinking about her. so god damn annoying.

 

too much intimacy too soon? ugh. enough of this.

 

mandatory question phrasing to keep this from getting deleted: what do i do?

[jenmar]

well what do you want to do? Do you want to try and work things out with her? or are you trying to get over it and move on?

have you dated anyone since the break up?

[mmmd]

she had problems. her last boyfriend came home one night and beat the out of her, and she had been raped once when she was younger. she would have nightmares about me hitting her.

 

we went to have sex once and she was paralyzed with fear and was shaking with terror. from that point on the relationship just disintegrated. i made a ton of mistakes, being clingy/etc., but i don't think it would've mattered. she rejected seeing a therapist, never wanted to talk about it, and ultimately told me she was perfectly fine and nothing was wrong with her.

 

haven't talked to her since. i'm trying to move on.

 

i've been out with a couple girls since then. nobody particularly compelling. when i am talking to them, it does get better. but then she comes back into my head. i'm just so tired of it.

[ElectricSheep123]

She got problems. But if you're thinking about her so much, then you must really like her. I say try to stick around for a bit and help get her into therapy. And even if she says nothing is wrong with her, tell her you really care for her and want the best for her, you think you both have issues where a therapist could really help. And maybe once this is being worked on, you can have a relationship with her.

 

If it's been 5 months and you haven't forgotten about her, then it's worth fighting for, I guess.

 

Or you can cry about it until you hook up with someone else.

[mmmd]

stick around what? the last time i talked to her was in January. that is more over than the sopranos.

[jenmar]

There really isn't much you can do in situations like these.. if you were willing to stay with her if she went to a therapist that must mean you really cared about her, sadly you can not make her go.

It seems she has a lot of issues that she has not yet come to terms with. You say she was really quiet and such.. the things that have happened to her are pretty traumatic, that is more than like the reason she doesn't open up.

I think that you felt a connection with her which would be why you are constantly thinking about her, and the fact that she is not able or willing to deal with the things that happened in her past is probably hurting you because, and correct me if I am wrong, if she would deal with these issues by seeking therapy, then you both could possibly be together.

as far as getting her out of your mind and moving on.. well it takes time.. you have to let go, and realize that sadly this wasn't the girl for you, since you were not able to deal with the emotional side effects she had.

[mmmd]

i'm just sick of the capricious nature of attraction.

 

why was i SO hooked with this girl immediately?

 

i've gone out with other girls, i've met other girls, etc. nothing. or at least, nothing in comparison.

 

yea, we did have a connection. but i don't know why.

 

and yea, i'm under no delusions that she wasn't for me and that it wasn't going to work out... she had legit problems. but then i just feel bad for her and worry about her.

 

god dammit.

 

can't wait to go to law school and meet a hundred new girls.