misssmithviii Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 I had a godmother when I was about 5 up until I turned 15. She taught me things my father couldn't and was a wonderful mother-figure when I had none of my own. Unfortunately I made some really bad, selfish choices when I was that age... choices I have come to terms with and do not beat myself up for anymore. However one of those choices really hurt her, and I was too ashamed to ever talk to her after that. She stopped talking to me, and I did the same. I have grown out of that horrible stage in my life, and over the past year I've been wanting to get in touch with her again - most importantly, to apologize. I do not expect anything from her, I do not hope for a relationship again, and I'm very accepting of rejection and will have absolutely no problem if she chooses to never speak to me again (as she has). I'm wondering what to do and I'd really like some input: Would I be wrong in trying to contact her? Would hearing from me be a mistake on my part and only hurt her? I don't want to hurt her. [Here's the specifics if it matters: I had "tried" committing suicide (a long time ago now) and when I was sent to the psychiatric hospital, she called me immediately (I think my father told her). When they told me who was calling, I chose to ignore her calls. I didn't want to hear her lecture me (especially since she is extremely religious and I knew hearing about how condemned I was wouldn't help my mental state at all... that and I knew she held a bit of resentment towards me changing my religious views). I was only held there for 2 days, they deemed my attempt as a result of a stress problem that I should seek counseling for but am at a low-risk because of how I attempted the suicide. I ran in front of traffic - the doctor said since I put myself in harm's way, but didn't directly attempt it myself, that I don't pose much of a threat. In my case, he was right. I had never tried before and it was more of a stunt for attention Yes, I have received counseling and therapy Ever since she tried to call and I ignored her, we haven't spoken.] Link to comment
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