Being honest Never works in my favour!!

[tulipsfav]

I am so fed up with being honest with people and opening up my feeings to them and getting totally trampled. Would never hurt anyones feelings being honest!

 

Does anyone agree that HONESTY is not always the best policy?:sad:

[Lucy__lou]

Honesty often gets me in trouble too. But I wouldn't choose to be one of the phoneys for the world.

 

I love honesty

 

what did you say? who did you say it to? what were you honest about?

[misssmithviii]

Read my signature

[misssmithviii]

If you can't be honest, what's the point IMO. I would rather have people like me or despise me for who I really am, not for who I tell them I am. I wouldn't want to be loved for what I am not; I enjoy being loved for all the mistakes and flaws I have - every choice I make and every belief I have. Even telling someone a white lie is deceiving, regardless of how minimal, by giving them the false impression of what you did/what you would do/what kind of person you are.

 

I'm sorry you feel this way about honesty, it's the most refreshing feeling in the world to me.

[teabee]

Sometimes honesty needs to be exercised with tact

[Fudgie]

If you look more around the forum, you'll see what DISHONESTY can do. Hint: it's a lot worse than honesty.

 

Trust me, we need more honest people. It really is best. You just need to be tactful about it, like teabee said. It's a wonderful trait to have. Please don't lose it...You'll find someone!

[glucoze]

If you can't be honest, what's the point IMO. I would rather have people like me or despise me for who I really am, not for who I tell them I am. I wouldn't want to be loved for what I am not; I enjoy being loved for all the mistakes and flaws I have - every choice I make and every belief I have. Even telling someone a white lie is deceiving, regardless of how minimal, by giving them the false impression of what you did/what you would do/what kind of person you are.

 

I'm sorry you feel this way about honesty, it's the most refreshing feeling in the world to me.

 

 

I am the same way. But I would watch it when it comes go racist slurs and such.

[absinthe]

Keep being honest. I've dumped so many men in my dating history, for being dishonest upfront.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I have met enough dishonest people in my life to know that eventually people find them out and don't have the same level of respect for them. When someone is always lying, or distorting the truth, or has sins of omission, you eventually learn to re-interpret things that come out of their mouth because you know the real story is not what they are saying. Better to be honest (as long as you are not insulting someone and being mean) than dishonest.

[Hermes]

This is the bit that jumps out at me:

 

opening up my feeings to them

 

Not the same thing as being honest.

 

Hermes

[tulipsfav]

i feel that it is the same as being honest, why would i lie about having feelings for someone, that i like someone. Due to my honesty about my feelings for a male friend i lost him.

[misssmithviii]

Being open with your feelings of someone else can get you hurt - but would you rather lie and never try? That's not an issue of honesty, it's an issue of whether you're comfortable enough with other people telling you the truth - being able to accept things if they don't go your way. Honesty is not to blame.

 

Honesty is just plain telling the truth, all of it and not exaggerating, distorting or minimizing it.

[HouseKitten]

Big difference between honesty, and not knowing when to stop oversharing.

 

It's tricky to say without experiencing you 'opening up' but perhaps the problem is that you're coming on too strong, too early. What sort of things are you sharing with what kind of people?

 

Also, as someone else said, honesty should be exercised with some tact. It's the difference between saying 'you smell funny' and 'I loved that deodorant you were wearing last week'. Etc etc.

[Hermes]

Fully agree, HouseKitten.

 

Big difference between honesty, and not knowing when to stop oversharing.

 

Hermes

[Clarity]

I will always be honest, but I have learned to not speak my mind all the time.

 

Some things are better left unsaid or, said at a later period in time.

[WomanWriter]

No. If I get in "trouble" for being honest, that says more about the other person than me. I know that I am doing the right thing when I am honest. Sometimes I get reactions I don't like, but I don't regret it. I don't base my honesty on other people's reactions. Or at least I try not to.

 

That doesn't mean I go around telling people everything or being rude. Sometimes if I don't have anything nice to say, I don't say anything at all (or I just come on here to vent...lol).

 

Otherwise, I am truthful. I find it's a lot more helpful in the long-run than sugar-coating things. If people don't like it, they don't, but at least they know where I stand. I appreciare other honest people as well. Only way you can grow into a better person.

 

I don't like kiss-butts.

[newwave]

Depends on what you are being honest about. For instance it's probably a good idea pretty soon into dating to let the other know what you are looking for. I hate when I meet a guy, starting dating only to find out he just wants to have casual sex or be friends. On the other hand honesty can hurt someone's feelings (such as they are unattractive).

[SometimesShy]

Does anyone agree that HONESTY is not always the best policy?

 

It really depends on what you are being honest about, as some things might take some time before the other person really understands what your honesty means.

 

...As a sometimes-shy guy, honesty about my "shyness around women I find attractive" is the kiss of death to any chance of dating the woman I am interested in.

 

Women are almost universally turned off by shyness in men, so the message shy guys always get is that we must either learn to stop being shy ( not possible for some of us ) or to hide our shyness from the world.

 

Honesty gets a shy guy nowhere...