Are these feelings normal?

[SadAndy]

hi all,

 

As most of you will know I have just been dumped from a long term, 14yr, relationship for a younger guy.

 

The feelings that I am having about my ex hoever are mostly sexual, thinking about what we used to do etc. Some of the other feelings are based on resentment at how all of 'our' dreams are now still being done, only with him and not me. A minority of the thoughts are to do with what could have been and how great our relationship was if only it had been what it appeared. These thoughts are actually the most powerful even though they are in the minority..

 

I actually have very little interest in sex, unusual for me, and i have had 4 dates since we split up (9 weeks ago) and three of them had amazing bodies and yet i had very little, if any, interest in them sexxually.

 

I am more interested in finding 'the one' personality wise even thoough i know it is too soon.

 

For those who don't know, my ex is seriously 'loved up' with the new 'boy' (age 21) an even my little girl thinks he's great! (shes 8)

[fiishh]

Hey, I have a vague idea how you feel. i imagine it's a total confidence smashed being dumped for someone younger, but age gap relationships rarely work, just bare that in mind. Also, you have to try to stop thinking of your ex in a sexual way, I know it's hard but doing this really will not help you heal. A good way to do this is to list all their bad points, because this might make you realise that they aren't as great as you thought they were.

 

I was the opposite, dumped for someone 16 years older, so I kind of understand in a way (although obviously you were with your ex a lot longer than I was) that it's going to be hard to accept, especially the fact that you still love him. It'll probably be a while before you can see someone else in that way, but it will happen in time, and then when your ex splits with this younger guy you won't need him anymore!