Entering the angry phase????

[Psinic]

Hi All,

 

Im not gonn give much background here - i have posted a few times, so if you are interested look up some of my older posts. basically though, we were together for a little over 3 years, both of us told each other we loved each other - I meant it!! Just after Christmas she left me, then in February she ended it totally and i havent seen her since that night. Now its been 8 weeks since then and we have been NC for about a month. The last few mails and texts before that were cold and business like on her part.

 

So i am improving daily, generally feeling alot better about things, and have even been seeing a new grl who is great and already feels like i have a healthier happier relationship with. But....

 

I've started feeling angry, and i've started dreaming about her - now i know many many others have posted this stuff before, but i need to vent a bit here and get this off my chest...

 

She told me she loved me, unprompted, a couple of days before she left me... She slept with me the night before, told me she found me attractive, that she loved spending time with me. She used to ring/text and mail me at least 30/40 times a day right to the end.Then bam - it's definitely over.

 

So how can she walk away from this and not look back? Not even ask if im doing ok, nothing. I sent her roses a month ago and never heard anything about them - dont even know if the deffinately arrived, certainly not even a thanks for the roses text. Last contact was me replying to a text from her where she said something about a joint bill and said i hope everything is ok? I replied yeah im fine thanks, hope you are too? = nothing, no answer.

 

I feel like she has just gone, no feelings, no thoughts of me, just not caring and that isn't the person I used to know. Did she ever care for me, love me? Or was it all a lie?

 

The stupid thing is why do I even care? Things are working out for me and I feel I have the potential of a much better relationship now. Why am I dreaming about her again, odd basic dreams where I am talking to her about family stuff, or seeing her in photos in my dreams?

 

this is odd - is this still part of the healing process?

[IvantheAvg]

The stupid thing is why do I even care?

 

To get close to somebody on an intense level and then that person withdraws will certainly get you hooked on that person.

 

PUA's call it the Push-Pull technique...going hot and cold...causes you to break your rythym and follow theirs. If you are unaware...its a form of control.

 

Going NC will get you your sanity/self-esteem back. People like this, usually have drama swirling about them, and are toxic. Being angry is a normal reaction...not contacting her is the best way to dissapate it. If she contacts you seem bored by her communication and get rid of her. Indifference and awareness are the defense against push-pull. If they can't get you to react emotionally they have no power.