is being pregnant an excuse....

[drake11]

for treating your S.O. poorly even if he is really trying to his best and no communication on your part?

[Capricorn3]

NO, it's not a good excuse at all (imo). I never understood why some people say they get all moody or emotional (or whatever) when pregnant. It never happened to me in any of my pregnancies so I never really understood where this comes from.

[Seraphim]

I do not think it is an excuse, but I know I was overly emotional when first pregnant and then mellowed out from middle to end. I was so lackadaisical I agreed with everything.

[teabee]

My pregnant hairdresser claims to have crazy emotions right now (I do believe that) and she claims she can't help but take it out on her bf (I don't believe that). She's always treated her SO badly. The only difference is that now she has--what she sees as--a legit excuse. I don't think that's right, but I've never been pregnant, so maybe I can't comment.

[Fudgie]

NO, it's not a good excuse at all (imo). I never understood why some people say they get all moody or emotional (or whatever) when pregnant. It never happened to me in any of my pregnancies so I never really understood where this comes from.

 

I can see them getting emotional about the future (esp if it's their first kid) but not from CRAZY hormones or the like, if that's what you mean. But they may be emotional for other reasons. Pregnancy is a HUGE freaking deal.

 

BUT...Being pregnant isn't an excuse to be a total biotch. I don't know why some women think that.

 

A friend of the family got pregnant a while ago. She was really a drama queen. She used the pregnancy excuse for the following things:

1) Treating her boyfriend like a piece of crap

2) yelling at everyone and demanding special treatment

3) Eat EVERYTHING in sight and gain 50 pounds

4) Receive money and gifts

5) Complain 24/7 how much pregnancy sucked to anyone who would listen

 

God, what a nightmare. That child couldn't come soon enough. She was SO mean.

Needless to say, I skipped her baby party and her wedding after all that.

 

You have Bridezilla...and then there's Pregozilla. *hides*

[Capricorn3]

My pregnant hairdresser claims to have crazy emotions right now (I do believe that) and she claims she can't help but take it out on her bf (I don't believe that). She's always treated her SO badly. The only difference is that now she has what she sees as a legit excuse.

Wow, that's horrible. I feel bad for the poor guy. She better be careful as she could end up being a single mom.

[Mauxly]

I've never been pregs. But one of my best friends is. She is normally one of the most reasonable/well adjusted people I know. In her first trimester it was all any of us could do to be around her, she was out n' out mean. Horrible! We were warned that people go kind of crazy so we bit our tongues and humored her.

 

She's totally fine now. Even more mellow than she was prior to preg. Hang in there, it will get better.

[Seraphim]

I've never been pregs. But one of my best friends is. She is normally one of the most reasonable/well adjusted people I know. In her first trimester it was all any of us could do to be around her, she was out n' out mean. Horrible! We were warned that people go kind of crazy so we bit our tongues and humored her.

 

She's totally fine now. Even more mellow than she was prior to preg. Hang in there, it will get better.

 

That is what happened with me. I was not mean but everything made me cry. Then I evened out.

[teabee]

Wow, that's horrible. I feel bad for the poor guy. She better be careful as she could end up being a single mom.

 

My thoughts exactly re Single MomDom when I hear her talk about the way she treats him. She's always been unbearable and she knows it, so I can't figure out why she doesn't try to change...

[mrmaximum]

And I thank every female on this board who has ever looked at 'reasons' such as pregnancy, monthly cycles and such as bad reasons to abdicate responsibility for their actions. As I have never been pregnant (for obvious reasons), I cannot speak from experience, but there are quite a few women who do not accept these biological changes as reasons to use their spouses as outlets for frustrations. I will admit, packing on a child and all the changes which follow can't possibly be a walk in the park and some issue will naturally arise from this, which in some cases cannot be helped. However, to allow that to be a greenlight for your spouse to done a sweater which states "EVERLAST" or WELCOME" is a bit much.

 

If this where the case, does that mean that when you get stressed from work you can take it out on her?

[Seraphim]

In all fairness though men wont ever know how it feels to be pregnant and produce a baby and have their body go through harrowing changes. No, it does give us a right to flay our partner alive, HOWEVER one can see why one would get a little out of sorts sometimes.

[karvala]

I think there's one easy way to tell the difference between someone suffering from an uncontrollable hormone-driven emotional swing, and someone who simply behaves badly towards their partner. The former apologises and tries to fix things after the episode passes; the latter doesn't.

[teabee]

I think there's one easy way to tell the difference between someone suffering from an uncontrollable hormone-driven emotional swing, and someone who simply behaves badly towards their partner. The former apologises and tries to fix things after the episode passes; the latter doesn't.

 

That's definitely a good gauge

[Seraphim]

I think there's one easy way to tell the difference between someone suffering from an uncontrollable hormone-driven emotional swing, and someone who simply behaves badly towards their partner. The former apologises and tries to fix things after the episode passes; the latter doesn't.

 

Correct, plus the former is ALWAYS a biatch.

[Mauxly]

I have to say, never pregnant, but I do turn into a werewolf when I'm PMSing. It is absolutely NOT an excuse to treat anyone poorly. It is self destructive and painful. But the problem is that with so many hormones cursing through my body I am not very rational once a month.

 

Not an excuse. Please understand that I HATE this curse. But it is real.

 

By the way, I'm not mean or a yeller or snappy. I get insecure, emotional, analytical and I cry. From what I understand, men would rather be beaten up than be around that.

[Mauxly]

I think there's one easy way to tell the difference between someone suffering from an uncontrollable hormone-driven emotional swing, and someone who simply behaves badly towards their partner. The former apologises and tries to fix things after the episode passes; the latter doesn't.

 

Ahhh...thank god someone out there understands!!

[Seraphim]

Ahhh...thank god someone out there understands!!

 

NO kidding, hormones do cause REAL changes in behavoir.

[anggrace]

Hormones change during pregnancy. More for some than others. It's also a HUGE deal, which can stir up all kinds of emotions. Again, it happens to various degrees for different women. For anyone to suggest it doesn't happen b/c it didn't happen to them is pretty silly.

 

To answer your question, Pregancy is not an excuse to use so that you can get away with treating someone badly, but the effects of pregnancy could very well be the cause for the poor treatment. Whether or not it's okay depends on how poorly your being treated. If she's a little extra short tempered, Id understand. If she's calling you names or throwing things at you, that's not okay. Those are just examples. Can you give us more details?

[teabee]

NO kidding, hormones do cause REAL changes in behavoir.

 

True, I cry and cry and feel like there's no goodness in the world when I'm PMSing! I used to get crazy at my bf, but that's only when things were bothering me in the relationship anyway. Now it's not directed at him, but it does temporarily change how I act and feel.

 

I hope this isn't a dumb question: are the emotions during pregnancy sometimes like extreme PMS?

[Fudgie]

If this where the case, does that mean that when you get stressed from work you can take it out on her?

 

Hmm!!!! I should try that! (kidding)

 

PMS is the best excuse. I'm not sure if it's an urban myth, but didn't a lady kill her hubby and then her defense was "I had PMS, I was hormonal, and couldn't control myself"? I believe she got the insanity plea okay.

 

What a joke.

[Capricorn3]

Are there any women out there who have never suffered from PMS? I'm beginning to feel like I'm an alien or some foreign species, lol.

[Seraphim]

Hmm!!!! I should try that! (kidding)

 

PMS is the best excuse. I'm not sure if it's an urban myth, but didn't a lady kill her hubby and then her defense was "I had PMS, I was hormonal, and couldn't control myself"? I believe she got the insanity plea okay.

 

What a joke.

 

So you do not believe in hormone or chemical imbalance?

[teabee]

Are there any women out there who have never suffered from PMS? I'm beginning to feel like I'm an alien or some foreign species, lol.

 

Haha lucky! Do you workout a lot? Good health in general? PMS symptoms are nonexistent for me when I've been working out and eating well.

[Seraphim]

Are there any women out there who have never suffered from PMS? I'm beginning to feel like I'm an alien or some foreign species, lol.

 

You must be alien Capy

[Mauxly]

Like I said, my friend was an absolute nightmare. Her poor boyfriend, he got the worst of it. He was a saint about it though, didn't take anything personally, didn't exacerbate arguments, just let it all roll off of him and loved her through it.

 

Her hormones leveled out, she’s the sweet girl he met and they are so happy now.

 

Another friend? Husband freaked and left her. Devastated her, she snapped back to normal in a few months. He came back. But now they have a small child and no trust in that relationship.