what should be my next move?

[lunchbox007]

hello all,

i will try and make this brief: my boyfriend of over 3 years and i broke up about 3 weeks ago. he initiated it, and i (after reading advice on this forum) agreed that it was a good idea. he wanted to "stay friends" and continued texting me etc, but i told him not to contact me. 3 days later he showed up at my door with a random t-shirt that i had left that he "thought i might want". i didn't take the bait and let him walk out. couple of days later i had posted something on my fb account and he responded to it. again, i didn't reply. over the last 3 weeks, i've continued to make myself go out and have a blast with friends/ guys. one of the guys posted a pic on fb and shortly after that my ex deleted me as a friend.

 

we broke up once before about 6 months ago, and i did the same thing, a week and a half later he flew in begging for me back. when we got back together he told me the fb thing drove him crazy with jealousy and that he almost deleted me because he couldn't bare to look at it all the time. so i guess that's why he did it this time.

 

the difference this time is that it's been 3 weeks and still nothing. he is going to great lengths to try and forget about me. he even wrote my best friends husband saying he hopes he can still be friends. wrote his work colleagues saying that the next few weeks are going to be hard for him. he was crying like a baby when we broke up. i know that he still loves me.

 

should i wait a little longer and contact him? or just wait and see if he contacts me?

 

you guys give great advice, and i thank you for all that i've already learned from this forum....

 

xoxo

[misssmithviii]

I'm a bit confused with the timeline... you said you two broke up 3 weeks ago then proceeded to talk about him constantly trying to talk to you etc etc, then described how this happened before about 6 months ago... and then said "it's been 3 weeks and still nothing."

 

Timeline aside however, I wouldn't talk to him. Perhaps you were enjoying him begging for you back a little too much and now you're wondering where that attention went? That's at least what it sounds like to me if you could (on two separate occasions) not talk to him, have a great time without him while he's begging for you - then when he's not paying much attention to you, you're wondering when you should talk to him...

[lunchbox007]

sorry about the confusion. we've been together 3 years total. this is our second breakup (he has initiated both). the first breakup was about 6 months ago, and the last one was 3 weeks ago.

 

and yes, the whole point of no contact (for me) is to make him miss me, and in the process you save your dignity/ self-respect, and start to move on with your life.

 

this has worked for me in the past, as i stated, the first time we broke up after a week and half of no contact he came begging back. this time, it's been 3 weeks and i'm wondering if i should maybe contact him or just wait it out....

 

thanks