loveyousomuch Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 I'm not sure if any of you guys remember me, I've only made a few threads in the past.. Anyways, I'm back again for some more advice: So my and my Fiancée are having a really hard time getting along lately. We've got a lot of issues, and I'm going to warn you now, this isn't going to be a short post. If you have the time and could read through it, I would value your opinions and advice you have to offer me. =) Anyways, like I said above, we're having a ridiculously hard time getting along with each other. We fight pretty much everyday over various things, to make this a little shorter, i'll make a list of the usual things we fight over: 1. Money. I make 1/2 of what he does because I'm on mat leave, yet I always have to dish out money for groceries, baby items, bills, etc. because he never has any money himself. No, I have no idea where it goes. I've asked him, and he tells me it all adds up and he's not spending it anywhere I don't know about. 2. Our Son. Our son (9m old) is going through a period of separation anxiety and only wants me to hold him, he wont even go to my fiancée without screaming his head off. We're trying to get the baby used to being with my fiancée and other people but it's been a challenge for both of us. I can't do anything without our son clinging onto me and my fiancée cannot do anything with our son, and he's screaming his head off. Because of this, I end up doing pretty much everything for our son, and my fiancée is barely involved in anything.. 3. His Blackberry Phone. He's always (I literally mean ALWAYS), chatting to girls he meets online, but can't have a conversation with me, ever. I'll try to initiate a conversation but unless it's about blackberries, or our son, he will only give me a one word answer. I've asked him what he talks about with these girls, and he says it's Always about blackberries, and he never initiates the conversation. I just don't believe that, because I cannot see anybody talking all day long, and never changing the topic. 4. My Lack of Affection. Ever since I gave birth I have had no libido. I don't want to do anything that could lead to sex because I'm usually to stressed out and tired and it feels more like a chore than anything else. It also has to do with my lack of confidence in myself, and the fact I feel like I'm not desirable to him anymore. I've explained this to him on many occasions but we're still fighting about it. I've tried to tell him I still love him, and I am trying to work on it, but I'm also not going to Force myself to do something I don't want to do. (The fact he never talks to me, but can talk to all the other girls doesn't help this situation.) 5. Chores. The only thing I ever ask him to do in regards to housework is the dishes and to take out the garbage, however, he can't even do that. He'll let the dishes pile up for three or four days and then complains about there being too many dishes to wash. I've told him all I want is the dishes done once a day, but he just won't do it. Because of the above issues our relationship has been on the rocks for quite sometime now. His anger towards me has seriously escalated and he's resorted to calling me "crazy", a " * * * * * ", among other things, and he's always swearing at me. He has also become very quick tempered and defensive about everything. I'm not sure what else I can do, I try to have a normal conversation about our issues but it always turns into an argument and the worst part is this is all happening in front of our son.. We did take a break a few months ago, and I realized I wasn't happy without him and I went back. Now I'm starting to regret my decision, however I'm not ready to leave again just yet. I want us to be how we used to be, but it just seems like every time we have a fight, he says he'll try and do better, but he never follows through. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is he being emotionally abusive, am I being unreasonable in my requests (asking him to stop using his phone so much, where his money is going, to do the dishes, etc.) and what should I do now?.. Ps, sorry for such a long post, and sorry for so many run-on sentences.. Link to comment
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