yonanz Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Hi all ya heartbroken fellas, Let me share with you an emotional method which I have used to manage the pain i feel everyday. Many of you are presumably still stuck in the pining for him/miss him so badly and i want him back/ NC and then break NC repeatedly/insane text/email/phone calls/emotional rut, feeling down all the time and do not want to get out and do anything. whatever it is , it sucks as u have no control over yourself, you feel lethargic and zero confidence, and your life sits stills. But I want to share with you one perspective which motivated me to go out and live the life. I always picture my ex having a good time. moving on, hanging out with friends, being active on facebook, basically just living a life happily without me. yes, that's right, without me. so she can still thrive and live on without me, but not me without him/her. so i used this thought to motivate myself. i gave myself two options - either be the pathetic, sobbing, clingy,needy guy i am at the point of breakup, or teh confident, assured, mature, dignified and optimistic guy i could be! and needless to say, it was the latter. see it as an ego thing or a competition of sorts, but i wanted myself to know that i could live a life better than her. i could be happy and excited and satisfied on my own terms without needing her by my side.i want myself to undesrtand that i, too, could be indepedently happy and live a life that is more exciting and meaningful than hers. of course, whether it really is relatively more exciting, or meaningful, is both ambiguous and ultimately irrelevant. this is just a thought booster to motivate me to go out and live life to the fullest. in the end her life doesnt matter; its yours and the fact that you are living it to the fullest that matters! it feels so good to slowly undesrtand you can manage your happiness so well on your own, and that you are having a great life despite her absence. you feel dignified, you feel whole and you feel you now have a greater control over your life. this is a great self-esteem booster. try it...and make sure you stick to it. all the best dudes! Link to comment
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