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Would have been..

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It would have been 3 years together this past Tuesday.

It would have been us together.

I thought I was over him, but I found myself looking at old photos of him on facebook, doubting why I broke it off. Then having dreams about him and I together. I know why I left, he treated me like crap, he lied about loving me, he was controlling and manipulative, but I still miss him. I miss talking to him, seeing him, having him be the only one who understood. I know it wasnt a mistake, but can I ever get over this?


Maybe this is why im so hesitant with moving on with another guy, I keep thinking to myself I can do it, he treats me better, maybe I will be happy again. But im not happy. Its like my ex has taken the happy right out of me, made me not have trust in guys anymore, close up my heart. Made me believe that Love isn't real and how would you ever know? I thought I was in love and he said he wasn't, where does that leave me? empty.


This is a rant, I just need to get it out of my system before I email him and tell him everything that has made me doubt myself by his words and actions. Because Im so close to picking up the phone at this point, even though that would be the worst thing to possibly do. I dont want him back, im just confused and angry and betrayed and hurt.

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Do you think you should really email him? Are you going to get the reaction you want, if any at all? You could be setting yourself up for more pain if you do contact him. I don't know how long you guys have been broken up for but it takes time to get over a broken heart. It also takes time to learn to trust again ... I am having those same issues myself. Love is real, but don't let the fact that this relationship didn't work out and no-one else has come along make you doubt that. The right person will come alone one day and, when it does, believe me, you won't look back. Possibly you aren't ready yet. Be patient and give yourself time. Time really is the best healer of all.

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