Perhaps not as strong as I thought...

[d_lilah]

For the last 2 months of NC i've been telling myself that I am over it. That I don't need him in my life, that he had done so much wrong that I can do so much better. I deserve better.

 

But the truth is I am not. He made me feel wanted, loved and he always gave me something to look forward to. Now I just feel empty. I was cast aside and forgotten about so quickly that it hurts. He said he wanted to be friends, but ignored every effort I made. I always thought friends were there for you always, not just when they decide it's easier for them. I just can't believe I am that unimportant to him. That I never meant anything to him, and he meant the world to me.

 

I have my finals coming up at university and I can't concentrate for continually thinking about him. I've tried the 'stop' mantra, and everything, but I just can't do it. I know we will never be together again, but the fact that I was so easily forgotten about has really damaged me. It feels like it's impossible for anyone to ever care for me. And if he just showed he cared a little, I wouldn't be feeling like this.

 

Things were said on both our sides that didn't make things easy. I know I regret most of what I said, but now NC is in place, I can't get in touch with him to apologise. I've already spent far too much of my pride that I couldn't handle it if I was just ignored again.

 

I know this is a long shot, but has anyone here ever had a breakup where horrible things were said afterwards and you still reconsiled, even if just as friends?

Did you make the first move, or did they?

How long did it take for communication to resume?

Do any dumpers out there not get in contact because of their pride?

[OccultFigurine]

Hi D_lilah

 

I think you should try and forget the idea of being friends with this guy. I think it will only drag things out for you and possibly hurt you more in the long run. I know you say that he made you feel loved and wanted when you were together, but you're not together any more, and if you were to feel any of that again through being friends with him, then it will only lead you to more heartache..

I don't know why hes not contacting you, it could be pride, it could be something else.

 

You don't need validation from this man- have you got other friends to support you at the moment?

I feel your pain going through your finals- Ive got exams coming up and have just split up with my ex, such bad timing!

Have you got other people that you could study with, even for a bit to get you kick-started? This is such an important time for you, it would be an awful waste to let this situation affect all the hard work you've put in towards your degree

All the best

OccultFigurine

[Kraegorn]

People say the darnest things when they're in high-flying action. Not to say that they didn't mean what they said at the time, but much of what they say, stems from their own expectations, and how they would *like* things to end up. Next time someone tells you that they'll always be around for you, maybe you should think twice about taking things at face value. Words will always evaporate.

 

I know how it feels when all you can do is spill your heart out and tell the other how you feel *should* make a difference, and if they really cared, they'd listen your wants, and in hopes, eventually re-think their actions. Expect little and receive more, expect big and your dreams will be shaken by the very grounds when reality sets in. Not to say that dreams will never happen, but they will be reviewed once they are projected.

 

So it wasn't as what you wished it would be. Lower your standards and settle for less. Or keep searching for a better day, and if you keep searching, eventually you'll find it.

[d_lilah]

OccultFigurine: I have friends around me who have all been great about the whole thing, but none of them have really been through breakups and have no idea how I am still feeling about this. Because I don't talk about him with them anymore (talking about it made it more difficult, so I asked them not to mention him), they think that I am well and truly over it now as it has been 4 months since our actual breakup.

It's not like I want to be friends with him (i've never been able to be friends with any of my exes, too weird!), but I just want to clear the air, so that if I go out with mutual friends or pass him on the street, we don't pretend like each other is invisible. The way things finally ended between us wasn't good, and I fear that his final opinion of me was not a good one. I'd hate that he would forgot about all the good times we had together and purely judge me on our breakup.

And as for study groups and such...tried that! I just end up staring into space...I think I should just take a day or two out to chill, and then get back on the wagon.

 

Kraegorn: I have always been too trusting of people and take things people say to me to heart, and I know that is my downfall in this case. All people have ever done is let me down, but despite this, if I were to change and expect the worst, that would change who I am. Being positive and thinking the best of people is a trait that I like about myself, and I won't change that, even if it saves me heartache in the future.

Hopefully one day i'll find someone who won't let me down...guess i'll just have to wait and see...

[jenmar]

Now is the time where you dig deep and find yourself.

Being happy and content with yourself is essential to life, and essential to the next relationship you will be in.

I understand what you mean in regards to leaving a bad impression-but you kind of have to forget about that and just move forward.

I would have to agree with other posters, you must forget about the possibility of ever reconciling and ending up friends, that is just going to make you really sad, and it will be even hard to move on.

If he wanted to talk to you and work things out just as friends, he knows how to reach you.

Concentrate on your studies, and spend time with family and friends, think of your ex as a chapter in your life that you must close, and now you start writing new chapters.

Life is too short to be sad over someone that broke your heart (easier said than done, trust me I know....)