Love?... Or In Love?

[Tommi]

How do you know if you're in love or if you just love someone. I have this most amazing friend, who I have known for seven or eight years... We've dated off and on since we met in middle school. We have been through a lot of good times and a lot of bad times... But we've always been there for each other.

 

I care deeply about her, I think she's beautiful and she's intelligent (though, we're all only human, and we've all got our moments lol) ... She's funny and she's fun to be around ... But I can't seem to commit to her. Everytime we date, everything is perfect and I run away from it.

 

My question is... How do you know if you just love someone, or if you're in love with someone.

[Tommi]

Also, she loves me ... A LOT. She's dedicated and she's said "I love you" over and over.

 

More background information that may help you; We live together (my mom took her in when her mom was about to kick her out) and I moved up here looking for work. We now work at the same place (she got me a job lol)

[H20]

I think being 'in love' is over rated. What exactly is wrong with caring 'deeply' for someone ? I think many people confuse an 'in love' feeling with craziness or insecurity.

 

The question is..if this girl decided one day she didn't 'love' you anymore and ell for someone else, would you feel ok with that or would you be afraid of losing her? There's your answer...

[OptomisticGirl]

Simply: You know, you don't have to ask.

[redherring]

No he's asking how can you tell if you love somebody, not if they love you.

[civilservant]

And her response stands.... You know if you love someone, you don't have to ask if you are....

[_Asti_]

And her response stands.... You know if you love someone, you don't have to ask if you are....

 

Exactly.

I love alot of people and care deeply for alot of people.

 

The love and feeling I have towards my partner is very different. Its a deep connection on so many levels [emotional, physcal, mental etc] There's a mutual commitment to each other, and through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs you grow together and form an incredible bond. And that bond just exists within you.

I just remembering suddenly realizing that I had this ttoally different feeling towards my guy one day. My perception changed, my attitude, my actions, it was such a calm, connected, fulfilled feeling within me towards him. There were no question, there were no doubts. And its only become stronger and more solid over the years towards him. Its a feeling I have never experienced with anyone else.