Still want her

[SimpleSimon]

So basically we were together for 4 years. We broke up over a year ago and Ive tried to move on but I still miss her. Ive dated other women and built up my career and even made new friends. The thing is I broke up with her when I was going through some difficult times in my life. For a finish she broke up with me and went nc. We got back together for a month after I made an effort. We then had a fight early in the morning and she broke it off for good. She blocked me off so I had no way to get in touch and we havent seen each other or had contact since. She made it very clear she wanted no contact and even threatened me with a restraining order. Recently Ive been thinking about calling her or something. I just dont know what to do. I really love her and I need her in my life. I just feel like if she wanted it shed be the one to contact me. I dont know.

[TheJerseyKid]

She made it very clear she wanted no contact and even threatened me with a restraining order. I just feel like if she wanted it shed be the one to contact me.

 

You answered your own question. You aren't fully over her because you haven't moved on, and you haven't found someone else yet. I got dumped out of a 4 year relationship with a girl who i saw everyday/slept together with every night. Felt like my world was over, but life went on, and I signed up for this site because of a completely different break up.

[kyivish]

Thats a hard pill to swallow. I totally understand where your coming from. In my case she dumped me and left me for the guy she cheated on me with. I had become very dependant on her and everyday hurts like hell. I work with her no less and I've been told by my boss that I need to get over it or at least act like i have while at work. I deleted her number to stop myself from texting her. Just try to honestly ask yourself if its her you miss or the relationship. I understand that her and the relationship are not two entirely different things, can you see yourself happy if you had the same relationship with someone else? Cause that would say a lot.

[Capricorn3]

She blocked me off so I had no way to get in touch and we havent seen each other or had contact since. She made it very clear she wanted no contact and even threatened me with a restraining order. I just feel like if she wanted it shed be the one to contact me. I dont know.

You have your answer here ^^.

 

You say there has been no contact for over a year - that's a long long time and if she wanted to get in touch with you, then I am sure she would have done so by now, if she was in any way interested in seeing or hearing from you again.

 

Maybe time to accept that she's not coming back?

[leq]

Mate, you have nothing to lose by contacting her. Just make sure you are prepared for the worse.

 

Im in your position aswell and it sucks. been about 8 months for me and im seeing someone else.

 

As for capricorns post, anything is possible, a year is nothing. I almost got back together with an ex of 2 years with absolutely zero contact, but i decided not too.

 

Good luck

[snoopydog]

Most successful reconciliations usually happen after 6 months plus according to what I have read. A lot of topics on here are greeted with negativity I have noticed. The stronger and longer your relationship was the better your chances I think and obviously if there were certain problems or issues that led to the break up you need to have solved them before even attempting contact. All that said, I don't rate your chances that highly based on that restraining order comment. Because of that make the initial contact very light I think, don't mention the past relationship or make her feel pressured.

 

Good luck man, I really hope it works out for you! Let me know what happens if possible as I am interested.

[Ms Darcy]

I don't think contacting her is wise. Perhaps you should consider why you think you need her.

[Hold-emMan]

I don't understand... did she threaten you by saying she'll get a restraining order against you or did she actually do it? Did you do anything or say anything to deserve the 'threat?' If not, then that's pretty intense of her to even threaten something like that. Restraining orders are usually reserved for psycho, alchoholic ex husbands (and ex-wives) I thought...

[SimpleSimon]

I called her a month after we broke up and told her she was cruel for saying some of the things she did and she threatened me with a restraining order. I dont know whats wrong with me I just really miss her right now and want her back in my life.

[Ms Darcy]

I called her a month after we broke up and told her she was cruel for saying some of the things she did and she threatened me with a restraining order. I dont know whats wrong with me I just really miss her right now and want her back in my life.

 

Is she the longest relationship that you've ever had?

[SimpleSimon]

she is the longest.

[Ms Darcy]

I know you are hurting and I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way. All we can tell you is that she's probably not coming back and it's best for you to move on. Holding onto false hope can impede you from moving forward.