Ups and Downs

[Diogenes]

Not even a few weeks ago, things were going great for me and my family; I had just started working as a Tech Consultant at a national company a few months before, we(my fiancé, my 3 year old son and myself,) had just moved into an apartment that was nicer and far more affordable, and our daughter was on her way. Then, like all things good, it all started falling apart.

 

I get fired for 'undisclosed reasons,'(was in the 3 month probationary period where they don't have to give a reason.) My fiancé and I have been fighting and arguing for what seems like forever now, and it has only gotten worse. And since our daughter was born, (6 pounds 6 ounces, totally healthy she has been completely ignoring my son(he is mine from a previous, I have full custody) and has been incredibly irritable and holds grudges; a single minor event turns into her simply ignoring me or dwelling on it and bringing it up for the rest of the day, making getting along impossible. 'I love you's' are returned with a "uh huh" and apologies are often met with no answer.

 

I am at my wit's end; while I understand she has been and is going through alot, there are so many other variables here that I have to consider.

 

We haven't gotten along for any great lengths of time in forever. My son, who has been through and incredible amount himself and is a little behind because of it and has some worrying emotional issues, and this is all taking quite a toll on him. She doesn't seem to want to work anything out, again, this has been like this for some time. And I am completely at my patience's end. I can't be out looking for a job, which is hard enough to do these days, while worrying about how she is treating my son, and with worrying about how she is going to be when I get back.

 

Long story short; I have no clue what to do.

[shessofly]

does she know how you feel? have you both sat down and talked about your issues? if not, can you do so without arguing? have you tried counseling? do you want to save the relationship?

[natashas]

My exhusbands long time gf did the same thing to my 3 kids. It ended up with so much emotional abuse and damage that I don't know if they will ever really be ok. It escalated into them not being able to eat at the dinner table or even speak to her because she began to hate them more and more. When questioned why, she said it was because they reminded her of ME.

 

My ex tolerates her still to this day.

 

Moral of the story. Nobody should be allowed to treat your son poorly. Especially someone that is your life partner.

I would get rid of her if you see anything resembling emotional neglect.

[yonanz]

no one shld be allowed to hurt your son. your son is innocent. talk to her about it firmly.

[TheJerseyKid]

The most important issue in this situation IMO is your son. If this is having a negative effect on him (as he is not your fiance's kid) then you need to seriously evaluate if this is worth possibly having a long time or lasting effect on your son. Chances are, there is someone out there who will love you AND your son as if he was their own, and that's the type of person you should be looking for. Try not to be selfish, which it doesn't seem like you are, I just wanted to reiterate.