It's time to start over...

[-Sanguine-]

time to make some changes in my life.. for the better.

 

I am codependent. No doubt about it. I have researched, read up.. all the symptoms point to me.

 

•Inability to know what "normal" is.

•Difficulty having fun.

•Belief that others cause or are responsible for the codependent's emotions.

•Overreacting to change. (or intense fear of / inability to deal with change.)

•Inability to see alternatives to situations, thus responding very impulsively.

•Constantly seeking approval and affirmation, yet having compromised sense of self.

•Feelings of being different.

•Confusion and sense of inadequacy.

•Lack of self confidence in making decisions, no sense of power in making choices.

•Feeling of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, and shame which are denied.

•Isolation and fear of people, resentment of authority figures.

•Fear of anger or bottling anger up till it explodes.

•Dependency upon others and fear of abandonment.

•Confusion between love and pity.

•Tendency to look for "victims" to help.

 

Here are just some of the ones that fit me..

plus, a big one is having grown up in an environment where addiction was present. My dad was an alcohlic.

 

As relieved as I am to know that I am going to start getting help, I almost cried when I read about this and it was like the research was made for me. It was so accurate. I feel so guilty about all the times I've done something nice for someone (believing I was doing it to be nice), but really it was so they would eventually appreciate me for it or feel guilty that I do so much for them... I mean I do do things nice for people just cause sometimes but I know it's not all the time. I feel guilty about how I've treated my boyfriend - complaining about him.. when it was me the whole time.

 

I dunno, just looking for some support, I guess. Some advice. I don't plan on talking to anyone in my real life about this.

 

Anyone go through the same thing?

[turnera]

Oh yeah. Read some books by Bradshaw; he's great for showing you how you got that way, and what to do about it.

 

And make a plan for yourself. Where do you want to be in 5 years? What steps does it take to get there? Prioritize those steps, and get ready to start step 1! The more you improve yourself and your life, the less validation you'll need from others.

[-Sanguine-]

Oh yeah. Read some books by Bradshaw; he's great for showing you how you got that way, and what to do about it.

 

And make a plan for yourself. Where do you want to be in 5 years? What steps does it take to get there? Prioritize those steps, and get ready to start step 1! The more you improve yourself and your life, the less validation you'll need from others.

 

Thanks! I feel so confused about where I'm going to be even in the near future. That might be hard! But I'll try, lol.