It's so hard

[nocontactqueen]

So I've explained my situation in several other threads, but my ex took another girl to his senior fraternity formal and I'm having to see all the pictures of them together on facebook and it's literally making me sick to my stomach. I've tried to stop looking at them but it gets so hard to resist at times and it hurts so much.

 

But here's the other part of the story that makes it hurt so much- he and I have just started talking again, with the understanding that we may be together in the future, but we may not. We're at a huge transitioning point in our lives and have to make a lot of decisions. He even called me during that formal to tell me was just tired and not having fun, but the pictures seem different. I know he's still talking to the girl he took to his formal (she lives about 12 hours away and is several years younger).

 

We've been back and forth between contact and no contact but now he's saying that if we get back together we would probably get married and that brings up a lot of red flags to him. He wants to still hang out and talk to me but he also said he may find someone else to be with, but when I returned that sentiment he got mad and couldn't handle it- which makes me think he was just saying those things to make me mad (possibly?). Because if he just wanted to date her I would think he would be able to just let me go in the many chances he's had to do so. I'm trying to proceed with caution but when we started to break up we still had a lot of feelings for each other and I think we still do, and it's hard to want to see him so much but not at the same time. It's just a lot to take in and any advice would be helpful.

 

We also graduate in 3 weeks and will be heading to different places for the summer.

[FrenchFries]

nocontactqueen, you would do yourself a better favor by staying true to your name and leaving this man alone while he is dating other women. that's just my opinion. it sounds to me like he is messing with your head. he either wants to get back together or he doesn't, but in the meantime doesn't want you dating? so your sitting around tearing yourself up over fb pics while he's out having a good time. what kind of crap is that?

[Flywest29]

nocontactqueen, you would do yourself a better favor by staying true to your name and leaving this man alone while he is dating other women. that's just my opinion. it sounds to me like he is messing with your head. he either wants to get back together or he doesn't, but in the meantime doesn't want you dating? so your sitting around tearing yourself up over fb pics while he's out having a good time. what kind of crap is that?

 

Ya that..........haha i can't get over the number of threads I read about people torturing themselves with fb. It is so awful in a breakup it just rubs salt into the wounds. Please do what I tell everyone else here who is on fb, delete him, his friends, his family, or better yet delete your account all together. You are only hurting yourself by looking at his stupid pics.

 

Don't talk to him at all either! If he is dating someone else just get the hell outta there. He is keeping you as a back up girl and you are letting him, don't let him do that to you. Are you second best? No you're not so don't let him make you feel like that.

 

You are best to walk away from this and don't look back.

 

Good luck!

[nocontactqueen]

well yes and no. i am talking to other guys, he's talking to this girl. but we're still trying to figure things out, which i guess doesn't make much sense. neither one of us wants a relationship with anyone at the moment because everything that's been happening with us was so emotionally draining.

 

i'm trying to move on but not cut him out of my life in case we can be together in the future. but i'm trying to not be hooked on him and hang out with other guys in my life- but that seems to be kind of hard. i've been hurt several times throughout all of this so i'm definitely trying to guard my heart and gauge things so that i don't get too involved, and i'm really trying to keep my heart open to anyone else that comes into my life. but that's hard because i'm moving to a new city in 3 months and don't really want to start anything new before that.