so confused with my life ...please read

[red_sky_girl]

Hi everyone !

 

I hope im posting this thread in the right place...but i guess i am since it has to do with my feelings, my deepest emotions and thoughts.

 

Well it is kinda of difficult to find the right words to explain my recent situation (mentally and emotionally) but i just want to give it a shot.

 

As many of you might already know i work as a jounalist and i like this profession very much , it has given me opportunities to met lots of different people...and i have had plesant experiences meeting and interviwing people.

When i first started to work in this field i realized that it needed lots of my time and efforts.I gave to it all my potential...and i dedicated to my job myself , my time, my energy and stuff...of course i acompleshed a lot by doing so ...but meantime i had no so much social life and interactions with friends , family and other people. Well in the very beginning i didnt need much of this social life and i used to use the internet to met guys and other people online since i spent more that 10 hours a day at my work.

 

Its been now 5 years of working as a journalist...now i still work as a journalist at a new department and its been now 7 months i do my job well but im not as buys as i was ...and this causes me feelings or borderom , i feel bored very fast , i want to be busy , cause i feel like if im not so busy and spend many hours at my job i feel not so appreciated and worthy as a journalist. Its like i have much more free time now and i dont know how to fill it...the only way i know is only by working...and im thinking to met my boss and tell him to get me other stuff to do and a highter salary.

 

I dont have a boyfriend and i dont think i will get one till i will be ready..i have passed from a dating to another, from a relationship to another (three relationships till now) and there all were so awful...i think they were the refleciton of how i was at that certain time.Today a colleague told me : "you seem to so calm and taking so easy your job...i think you must be free, cause everyone else is in a harry to go away from the workplace".Her words hurt me a bit but she was right.

 

Starting for the new year 2010 i have had constantly these feelings...of borderom, of not knowing what to do else besides my job...feelings of anxciety....negative self talk...bad thoughts...a mind whic creates me problems by thinking negatively in borderom...i dont know what really is happening to me...

 

I m studing my second facutly for psicology part time, i go at school only on saturdays and sundays.I like it ...but i dont think life its just work and school.

 

These last three weeks i have invited my friends , one today and one tomorrow to have a drink and see each other...i had a nice time with each of them...every one of them is busy with the job they do...

 

I feel like i miss something in my life....i wake up in the morning at 6 am and i make lots of efforst to wake up because i like sleeping in the morning...then i go to work till 12 , 13 pm...then go home, eat ..sleep two hours...then (three times a week i still come to work again in the afternoon, sometimes because i have things to do, sometimes because i just want to pass the time there)....then go home and use the internet, talk on facebook with people ....i mean this life style i have now its so boring and it dosnt inspire me....i feel like something is missing, i dont feel motivated enought to do things...besides i dont know what else to do...i have started running since i like to do some sport activities...i go alone for running and sometimes i go with my brother...cause we have different hours at our jobs....

 

It feels like i dont have a social life and i want to fill it with my job only...its like a monotony and i wannt to be grateful in the end of the day and feel good about myself that i have had a nice day...and a full day...i just dont want what else to do.....

 

 

anyone else feels this way ? how do u overcome this situation?why is happening this to me? am i allowing it or it s just a phase that will pass?

 

please read and thanks in advance for your suggestions or opinions

[minou]

Why don't you look for another job if this one doesn't give you enough work? Why don't you write articles freelance for magazines on topics of interest?