Does She Just Want Sex or More?

[soporcogitavi]

I may be a little ignorant here or blind so please bear with me. I met a woman online 2 weeks ago.

We met after chatting 3 times. We went for a dinner and it lasted almost 4 hours, we went for a walk and put our arms around each other, and kissed for almost 15mins. I walked her to her car and she beeped at me as I got to mine.

I texted her the next day telling her I had a great time she agreed and we made plans to meet again. Second date we went for a late drink and appetizers, we were ther for about 2hrs and she asked if I wanted to come back to her place for wine. I agreed, we talked for a bit, then we made out, I told her I had to leave as I had to get up early. She told me to bring her to her room and say goodnight to her, needless to say we fooled around, did not have sex, we didnt have any protection.

 

I texted her the next day saying we should do something again, and we made plans to see ach other the next day. I brought her for tea, we went for a walk held hands. Then went back to her place, attempted to watch a movie, we had sex it was great. We laid there for almost 2 hrs, talking, cuddling, etc...then went for dinner lasted 3hrs, we both seemed intrigued by conversation (I think) lol.

 

She messaged me yesterday asking me if I wanted to do something this week, we made plans for tonight, she wants me to come over because she finishes work late so we can just order out and chill.

 

Even when we're in the car and i drive she holds my hand, or when we sit for a drink she reaches acrosss the table to hold my hand. We have some pretty long conversations, i havent analyzed them too much to be honest, on who asks more or shows more interest in questions, but I would say perhaps I do by a slight amount.

 

I guess for me its progressing fast, which isnt a bad thing as I am into her, she seems to be great, and has all the traits I would expect of a companion. Its just that I found the physical dimension came very quickly, which im not used to. Usually when I get involved physically we have established that we are exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend. Perhaps this attraction is more intense then usual. Maybe Im worried its too good to be true.

 

Your feedback is appreciated.

 

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Update

 

ok well just a little update here. We've spent the last 2 days together tuesday she ordered in and I actually spent the night at her place. We had sex, and she slept on me all night.

 

Yesterday I went out for dinner with a friend and I dropped by her place after around 10pm, we talked and kissed for about 2hrs, then I went home. She actually seemed more talkative then usual yesterday, telling me about her school, her family, where she used to live, etc...

 

She invited me to go out for dinner with her and her best friend tonight for her birthday. And she told me that Saturday her and a bunch of her friends are going for drinks for her birthday and wanted to know if I would drop by to see her. She told me her mom was going to be there also, but thought that maybe I should show up after her mom leaves as we've only been seeing each other for 2 weeks, and I totally agreed with her.

[Mustachio]

I wouldnt do any worrying, but if you have already slept together and you want it to be exclusive, then just talk to her about it.

 

I dont think she wants you just for sex. I mean you are actually dating, going out, doing things, its not like you meet up just for sex. Some people just move fast physically, and as long as it doesnt make you uncomfortable just go with it. The only thing I would say is that if you have been out 3 or 4 times already, have already slept together and want a relationship with her, talk to her about it.

[Catdancer]

Dont overthink it. Just relax and enjoy being with her. The more you try to analyze the more you're going to psyche yourself out and ruin a good thing.

[guynextdoor]

Go with the flow. Sounds like she's into you.

[bebeblondie]

Doesn't sound like she's just in it for the sex, from your post it sounds like she's pretty into you as well.

[Fudgie]

Sometimes things move fast but that's not always a bad thing.

 

Sounds like you're enjoying each other's company pretty equally. I wouldn't worry too much.

[HeartGoesOn]

If you felt that it was progressing too fast, and felt it was better to be exclusive first, why didn't you hold off and wait?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Be careful that this doesn't turn into a fast burnout once she has had her fill. Sounds like she is really pushing things quickly. Many people do not know how to go slow..they see someone they want and they want it all NOW...doesn't mean they are initially looking for just sex, they just don't know how to pace a relationship and rush headlong into things...once they come up for air and the fog of lust has slowed down that is when their brain starts working and they start actually evaluating the person and whether or not the relationship is worth pursuing. So yes, she clearly wants sex right now otherwise she wouldn't have invited you into her room and have her hands all over you when you go out...as for whether it is just sex or something more..it is too early to tell. It could be just for sex, or she could want more...but whether the wanting more is because she is desperate for a relationship or because she truly wants you, is something you will only know as time goes on and you actually get beyond this lust stage.

[soporcogitavi]

but whether the wanting more is because she is desperate for a relationship or because she truly wants you, is something you will only know as time goes on and you actually get beyond this lust stage.

 

I have to say, we have both been out of relationships for awhile, for her its been 1 year, and she has been on dates since, and she is quite attractive. She has also lived by herself for the last year so has had time to discover herself, she's 25 and im 27. I don think she is desperate for a relationship. I have been on 20 or so dates previous to her, none of them ever getting past date 2 as I have not been interested. So I do think there is a genuine attraction between the 2 of us.

[KG]

Go for it...she's into you.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I have to say, we have both been out of relationships for awhile, for her its been 1 year, and she has been on dates since, and she is quite attractive. She has also lived by herself for the last year so has had time to discover herself, she's 25 and im 27. I don think she is desperate for a relationship. I have been on 20 or so dates previous to her, none of them ever getting past date 2 as I have not been interested. So I do think there is a genuine attraction between the 2 of us.

 

All of that doesn't mean she is not desperate for a relationship. There are lots of people who decide, "it is time I got into a relationship" or "it is time I got married" and the next person who comes around the corner is the person who becomes "it"...the one they choose to fulfill that goal that they decided it is now time for. Don't assume that just because someone is hanging all over you, that they are interested in you as a person. Many people have been lulled into that false sense that this grand attraction, can't keep your hands off the person etc must mean "wow, they are really into me". Yep, many have found that the person is really into them for a brief period of time but then it fizzles out once the honeymoon intense lust stage ends. In other words, don't let the hands all over you and sex blind you....there is still a whole lot to learn about this person, what makes them tick and whether or not they are sincere.

[agatha]

I defend this position: if you want to have sex, go ahead and do it. If both of you will want anything more than that in the long run, it will only show with time, and unveiling the mistery of sex can help in finding that out with much more clarity than if both are still expecting the apotheotic moment.

 

communication matters the most, as the week following the act. that's when both will be the most sensitive, and when the most honest reactions will occur.

 

time is life, why invest time on getting to know and getting attached to someone who you might only find worthy for one thing? or who may see you through those lenses?

[believeme]

Sounds like things are going really well, don't be worried. Yes i think things are going pretty

fast just try to talk things out with her soon and see if you guys are on the same

page.

[soporcogitavi]

ok well just a little update here. We've spent the last 2 days together tuesday she ordered in and I actually spent the night at her place. We had sex, and she slept on me all night.

 

Yesterday I went out for dinner with a friend and I dropped by her place after around 10pm, we talked and kissed for about 2hrs, then I went home. She actually seemed more talkative then usual yesterday, telling me about her school, her family, where she used to live, etc...

 

She invited me to go out for dinner with her and her best friend tonight for her birthday. And she told me that Saturday her and a bunch of her friends are going for drinks for her birthday and wanted to know if I would drop by to see her. She told me her mom was going to be there also, but thought that maybe I should show up after her mom leaves as we've only been seeing each other for 2 weeks, and I totally agreed with her.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm confused here. You've been sleeping with her for the entire 2 weeks that you've known her, yet it's too soon to meet her mom?

[soporcogitavi]

I dont think that us sleeping together and me meeting her mom has relevance. I think that in some way meeting parents is more of a significant step in a different way thats all.