I'm so lost and confused

[quickstand25]

Alright, ill dive right into this. I just got out of a relationship about 4 days ago. I was dating her for 2 years and this was my first big relationship, given the fact that I’m young. Everything was great for a while, then it just seemed to go down hill. I was her first relationship and I had 2 bad ones before her, so I learned from them and knew about compromise and the true meaning of caring for someone, she didn't. Anyways, I started changing slowly for her and drifted away from my friends, and recently reconnected with a lot of my pals. This is when my relationship hit the rocks, she hated the fact that I was enjoying myself and started to realize who I once was, and she suggested a to take a break, so I could "find myself." I agreed and I started hanging out with my old friends more and more, and she was very upset. I on the other hand was not to affected from our break up, I had a feeling in my guts that our relationship wasn't healthy and was slowly dieing. She feels the complete opposite, she said she would love me for ever, but she has not shown me any compromise over the past year, and I was doing all the work in the relationship.

 

Now the past four days have not been that bad, I haven't thought about her too much and I have been keeping my mind off of the break up with friends and crushes that I’ve been friends with for years. Until today...

 

I saw one of her pictures she gave me and I saw all the stuff in her that I think is cute and fun. Now I am starting to second guess myself. I start to feel insecure and feel like I wont find another person like her or wont be able to find another girl. What do I do? I hate to fall back into a relationship that I ended up loosing my individuality in. Please help me out.

[Sonicxman]

You are so young, you are still trying to find out who you are in life. No I am not trying to talk down to you, I am talking about life experience. Love and loss, believe it or not, makes you a better/healthier person, because in 5 years from now this will be one of those memories you look back on. Then at that time you will say I have found the love of my life. Best luck my friend.

[misssmithviii]

She doesn't yet understand what a healthy relationship is, and I don't think she even has your happiness in mind. She hated you enjoying yourself? I can see her wanting more attention or time with you, but hating you being happy just sounds adolescent and selfish to me... that doesn't sound like true love to me at all.

 

I think you'd be better off with a woman who's more mature than that, who loves to see you smile and doesn't so quickly want to end a relationship with you for something you're somehow doing wrong. You sound like a very mature 19 year old, I'm 19 also and am fortunate to have a man who's just as mature as I am, we're crazy best friends and have each other's happiness as a big priority.

 

She may have good, cute and fun qualities - but a lot of people do frankly.

 

Don't feel insecure man, you will find another woman in due time. Just keep yourself true, keep that individuality that you had (and probably still have) and you'll be fine

[quickstand25]

Thanks for the insite. I think the best thing i can do now, is cut off communications, facebook, myspace, ext. Just knowing the fact that i can click on a link and see her face might be too much of a temptation.

[mca1975]

You are so young, you are still trying to find out who you are in life. No I am not trying to talk down to you, I am talking about life experience. Love and loss, believe it or not, makes you a better/healthier person, because in 5 years from now this will be one of those memories you look back on. Then at that time you will say I have found the love of my life. Best luck my friend.

 

This poster is right. When I was 19, I used to be very upset easily by things not going my way and absolutely devastated at losing a relationship and would do anything to hang on to it. When you get older you learn that life is not about being with someone, its about being happy and if being in your current relationship means that you are not happy, then you must leave it and move on.