What are my options....

[theproman23]

Well, I've never really had a GF. Only had what I thought were relationships without any of the good things. lol.

 

I am 26, successful professional, live a good life and have been relatively happy. Up until a month ago I had pretty much given up trying to find someone to be with as I've never had any luck really with women and it seems to continue. 3 weeks ago I met someone on link removed, went on a few dates only to get a text 2 weeks saying she doesn't feel us clicking.

 

Ok, boo hoo I know things happen but what that 2 weeks made me realize is that I do want to find someone to be with and not give up on the idea, which like I have said, I pretty much started accepting that I will be alone for a long time to come.

 

The guys I hang out with always want to go out on weekdays or sundays as they don't work the next day and when we do hang out it's not somewhere, where I can meet someone.

 

Now I am just looking for suggestions as to what I can do try and meet someone.

 

I should add, I am a virgin, never kissed a girl besides a drunken make out so I tend to put extra pressure on myself to try and find someone before I feel like they are going to make a movie after my life called the "30 year old virgin" lol. And no I am not a socially awkward nerd or anything just haven't had the best of luck when it comes to women.

[Fudgie]

I wouldn't give up on the online dating scene just yet. It's natural to have a couple lukewarm encounters. You're not going to fall for the first person you meet.

 

I would also join clubs/hobby groups for things that you like! I don't know....art, nature, photography, book clubs, etc. You'll find like-minded people who like the same things you do.

[theproman23]

I've actually been trying online dating for at least 4 to 5 years now. The girl I went on a few dates about 2 weeks was the first time I actually meet someone on one of those sites and went out with.

 

I should mention I am going to be playing in a Co ed Softball soon so i am looking forward to that! lol

[riverhead]

Are you a "catch"? When you say you've never had a GF, what do you mean? Do you work out? Do active things? What does your profile say about you besides that you are successful? Ever seen the movie Ghostbusters? Remember the goofy CPA that was always trying to hit on Sigorney Weaver? He was successful but women ran like the plaugue from him... why? Because he was a dork. It takes more than being successful... you have to attract women in some way... looks... humor... power... etc...

 

What are your assets and how can you capitalize on them?

 

Until I was 17 I thought I'd never have a GF. I was quiet, didn't play a lot of sports (was a late bloomer ), and I was horrible at talking to girls. I don't know exactly what happened but I starting skiing and was above average in my class and so the instructor started assigning me as his assistant and he had two of the girls in the class ski with me - one of them became my GF - my first ever (and she was really cute). My point being, find something you are good at that you can also do with women, and find a way to do that with women... acting? dancing? music? photography? volunteering?

 

I think what I'm saying is don't just start some hobby in order to find meet women, but make it a hobby you can be really good at, that you have fun doing, that makes you smile, and makes you fun to be around. They like that

 

Years later the hobbies I've used have included skiing, climbing, and waterskiing (I have a boat now). I'm still no expert in talking to women, but having something more to offer than being successful helps. Note - I don't do these to meet women - I like these hobbies, but I've found ways to invite women on these outings and it works.

[theproman23]

Well, let's see.

 

I golf, play raquet ball, work out about 3 to 4 days a week, shoot darts, play pool, play softball. I am sure there are a few more things but I see your point. I've tried turning these things it something where I can try and meet someone but it's a bit difficult as I tend to get a bit shy when I first meet a girl. I've got a good sense of humor and it often tends to show when I start feeling comfortable with a girl.

[riverhead]

I've tried turning these things it something where I can try and meet someone but it's a bit difficult as I tend to get a bit shy when I first meet a girl.

 

Yeah there is no quick fix for that, I've been there, and in some situations I still have that, but it improves with practice and experience. Could you teach a class in golf or darts? (if you'd enjoy that)

 

I find it helps to be in a setting that gives you some innate confidence - if you are a confident golfer then some of that confidence will carry over if you are talking to a women on the golf course. Same with darts, etc. It gets harder when you are in some setting where you are not as innately confident.

 

Maybe try to find a way to have some dates in settings that you feel comfortable in - then as you get to know her and she gets to know you, your sense of humor will have a chance to come out? Chicks like guys that can make them laugh.

[bebeblondie]

When you go out with your friends, where exactly do you go?

 

I know some will disagree, but I'd suggest grabbing some of your friends and going to a bar/lounge and use it as a practice ground for meeting women. I understand your shy, but I know plenty of shy guys who hit on women.

 

I'm suggesting the bar scene so that you can perhaps gain some sexual experience, because I get the feeling that you are not happy about being a virgin (if I'm wrong about that then disregard what I say). Again I know I may get blasted for this suggestion, but I'm just being realistic.

 

BTW Try approaching women without the idea in your head that you have to find someone to be serious with, and you'll see how many women you'll be able to meet and some of whom will have long term potential.

[Go Habs Go]

I'm suggesting the bar scene so that you can perhaps gain some sexual experience, because I get the feeling that you are not happy about being a virgin (if I'm wrong about that then disregard what I say). Again I know I may get blasted for this suggestion, but I'm just being realistic.

 

 

Yes, he should go shack up with some from the bar that probably has a different guy every weekend. Great idea. ](*,)

[theproman23]

I'm suggesting the bar scene so that you can perhaps gain some sexual experience, because I get the feeling that you are not happy about being a virgin (if I'm wrong about that then disregard what I say).

 

When we go out it's usually a local bar. None of my friends really want to go the bar scene downtown and usually when we do we end up not really approaching any ladies. I know a bunch of wussies.

 

And to your point above, you have no idea how much it sucks being the guy that sits there without one word to say when every guy around is talking about or discussing something regarding sex. I am usually the one trying to crack a joke to make it easy on myself while ending up looking like a retard cause they all know my situation.

 

I actually went on spring break a few weeks ago to panama city and as it's evident I wasn't very successful. Ofcourse it would have helped if I talked to a few girls but honestly it wasn't that I was a wuss, I seriously just didn't feel like putting in an effort. Sounds sad but at time I had all but given up on the idea of finding someone and may be a spring trip in that state was a bad idea.

[bebeblondie]

Yes, he should go shack up with some w*ore from the bar that probably has a different guy every weekend. Great idea. ](*,)

 

I never said that, what I said was to go to a bar and try talking to women because lets face it if you're single and at a bar on a Saturday you're probably looking to meet someone. If you think only w*ores go to bars, I'm sure there are plenty of women on these boards that you have just offended.

[bebeblondie]

It just comes down to the fact that you're gonna have to suck it up and start approaching women, because if you're waiting for a girl to come knocking on your door, it ain't gonna happen.

 

Also I would continue the online dating thing

[Go Habs Go]

I never said that, what I said was to go to a bar and try talking to women because lets face it if you're single and at a bar on a Saturday you're probably looking to meet someone. If you think only w*ores go to bars, I'm sure there are plenty of women on these boards that you have just offended.

 

 

Talking to a woman at a bar is one thing. Taking her home to have sex with her, not knowing her past or her sexual health, is something completely different. If you're looking for a relationship with a woman, bars/clubs are the last places you should look.

[bebeblondie]

Talking to a woman at a bar is one thing. Taking her home to have sex with her, not knowing her past or her sexual health, is something completely different. If you're looking for a relationship with a woman, bars/clubs are the last places you should look.

 

I think the OP would have more sense than that.

[Go Habs Go]

I think the OP would have more sense than that.

 

 

I sure hope so.

[theproman23]

I think the OP would have more sense than that.

 

Lol yes I do. Believe be Bebeblondie I didn't think you meant that at all when you first suggested the bar thing. And I am not the type of guy who would do something like that unless I was plastered.

 

I just wish I could find some guys that are willing to go out a bar to meet some women. Feels a bit weird if I go by myself unless that doesn't seem too desperate.

 

Depending on what happens with my job, I might be moving to Vancouver for 18 months, I plan on purchasing a house close to the bar scene downtown which should vastly help with this situation I think.

[bebeblondie]

Lol yes I do. Believe be Bebeblondie I didn't think you meant that at all when you first suggested the bar thing. And I am not the type of guy who would do something like that unless I was plastered.

 

I just wish I could find some guys that are willing to go out a bar to meet some women. Feels a bit weird if I go by myself unless that doesn't seem too desperate.

 

Depending on what happens with my job, I might be moving to Vancouver for 18 months, I plan on purchasing a house close to the bar scene downtown which should vastly help with this situation I think.

 

I'm in a similair situation, most of my friends are married or in relationships, and the one friend I have who is single that I go out with has seemingly given up on trying to find someone (she is a bit older than me). I haven't given up yet, but I feel like if things keep going the way they are now I'll end up giving up as well.

[theproman23]

Wow are you kidding me? Not to be superficial or anything but if that's you're really picture, you look gorgeous! I would love to meet a girl that looks like you!

 

After saying that, and from reading your posts you seem like someone very likable, caring and thoughtful. Don't give up! lol easy for me to say but I am trying not to do the same....It's tough but life is tough and if it weren't it wouldn't really be interesting, ha?

 

My motto is if something is worth it, it'll probably be difficult to come by cause if it were easy then everyone would have it and it really wouldn't be worth that much.

[bebeblondie]

Wow are you kidding me? Not to be superficial or anything but if that's you're really picture, you look gorgeous! I would love to meet a girl that looks like you!

 

After saying that, and from reading your posts you seem like someone very likable, caring and thoughtful. Don't give up! lol easy for me to say but I am trying not to do the same....It's tough but life is tough and if it weren't it wouldn't really be interesting, ha?

 

My motto is if something is worth it, it'll probably be difficult to come by cause if it were easy then everyone would have it and it really wouldn't be worth that much.

 

Thanks you seem like a great catch as well, I loved the idea you had about asking that girl you were seeing to a play off hockey game, if a guy I was seeing asked me to one of those...he'd score major points! So it seems to me like you know how to treat a girl.

 

I'm not giving up just yet lol

 

And your motto is spot on!

[theproman23]

Thanks for the compliment!

 

Yeah I thought it was a great idea for a hockey game especially since it was the first playoff game in years for our team.

[Daligal83]

I think the fact that it's getting nice out will help you...more people are out and about and everyone is friendly and happy. Take advantage! Spend as much time outside of your home as possible. Go for walks, volunteer, hit up coffee shops, go to all the fun spring/summer events. With all of those possibilities of meeting new people, maybe that will help with approaching new girls. If it doesn't work out one time, well there's another event with all sorts of new people around the corner.