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Was going great then all of a sudden not


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I met up with the girl through link removed a few weeks ago, we seemed to hit it off straight away on the messages and stuff, we then got talking on facebook, then swapped numbers and spoke on the phone and texted a lot, we had arranged to have our first meeting this saturday just gone however that ended up being our second date as she decided on impulse that she wanted to see me last wednesday and so made the 70 mile drive from her house to mine. ( I was cool with this but maybe a bit taken aback)


We went out for a drink then went and got something to eat and after that we just ended up sat in her car for about 2 hours just talking and it was really good, felt like being 17 again. When it came for her to leave we gave each other a hug and a quick peck on the lips, I left but immediately got a text saying "I want a proper kiss on saturday" to which i replied "Maybe"


We texted and talked a lot over the next few days and there was a lot of flirting going on, we seemed to be getting on like a house on fire. Saturday came and we meet up, had a drink and something to eat but everything seems a little more awkward for some reason. We ended up going for a walk and found a spot next to a river where we just sat down and talked a bit, she then ened up laying in the crook of my arm and pulled my other arm around her and it felt really really good, she was constantly trying to get herself closer and to cuddle up to me which I didn't mind at all.


There was no kiss of any type on this date which I think upset her a bit, when we left she seemed in a bit of a hurry and the texts and calls have stopped, we've spoken on IM about it she said it's weird for her too as she's out of her comfort zone and although she's confident (which she is) she said it's easier if you're a little tipsy becasue things flow better.


I really do like her a lot, I know it was only our 2nd date but i'm not sure where to go with this now. She is very forward which I don't have a problem with but I don't know if i've blown my chances with her or not and I don't want her to think i'm hounding her by trying to talk to her about what happened.


So, anyone any bright ideas?

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I think she feels that maybe your not as into her as she is to you. Sounds like she gave you plenty of opportunity to give her a kiss, and you didnt which may make her think that you just dont feel the same and so she is distancing herself maybe for fear of getting rejected or something along those lines. Contact her and make the effort to organize another date if you are genuinely interested in her, if she likes you then she will accept if not then let go and move on.

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I agree with Casperlady, she's showing you, right out there, that she's into you and it doesn't sound like you're giving much in return. She's probably starting to get the impression that you're not that interested, and so she's backing off to either protect herself, or to see if you make more of an effort.


Why aren't you taking this further? Kissing on a second date is no big deal, and it doesn't mean you'd then have to jump into bed. I think you need to be more outwardly affectionate if you want to keep seeing her, or if you're really against it then perhaps you're just not compatible.

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I would go ahead and just kiss her. She let you know you had the green light to kiss and you said "maybe" and then didn't do it. A maybe sometimes means to people that kissing or not depends on what she does or how she measures up and is worth a kiss and is not interpreted as "let's play it by ear." I don't think kissing has to lead to sex. The only other acceptable answer is to tell you how attractive she is and wonderful and you were just nervous about kissing her right away.

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Well it seems like you had a good first date but the alcohol may have lubricated things a little. And then the intimate texting over the next several days which is nice and feels good but it builds up expectations with someone who you have only met ONCE for a couple hours. Hence, the awkwardness on the second date. Then there is a period of complete vagueness where one or both people feel too much pressure. Notice she told you "I'm out of my comfort zone." Personally I avoid doing this at all costs even if I really "like" the person. I put that in quotes because it's more infatuation mixed with excitement at this point. When you take things really fast like that, people pull away and you end up with missed opportunities, IMO. My advice is to relax and don't rush things, but maybe that is just my style.

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