Wow... some people

[coyne740]

So... If you have followed my other threads, you know that my ex and I were working on things (so I thought) and she told me she broke up with the guy she was seeing while we were talking again.

 

I just found out that she lied. They are still together. The whole time she was telling me she missed me and wanted to be with me and work it out, she was still dating him. How can some people be so manipulative? I texted her about it and said "So, I found out you are still dating Ryan"

 

Her response - "Never contact me again, ur insane"

 

I love it when they try to turn it around on us.

[sidehop]

Time to go on NC again. She sounds very unsure of herself.

[DN]

How did you find out?

[coyne740]

We have been NC for about 5 days now. She very suddenly just wanted to be friends. This explains it and she sent me another text. Well, that's that!

[coyne740]

Someone sent me a text saying that she has said that I was stalking her (I wasn't) and they told me that she had a boyfriend and to give it up. I thought it did not add up and texted the person back with details. I don't want this drama, so I left it at I did not know she was seeing someone.

[Billy Ray]

Sounds like you might want to forget about her and move on. She is definitlely confused.

[Starbourne]

"... Ur insane".

 

I find it funny how people can spin things and project themselves on to others. SHE'S probably the one who's insane.

[hannah_k]

Run away, dude. Don't look back.

[coyne740]

Oh, it's over now... I don't need to run now, just stay where I am and realize that she is not the person I thought she was. At all.

 

All of these months she made ME feel guilty when I was with my friends doing things, having a good time and meeting new people in a new city. She kept telling me that we were going to get back together and just have faith. The whole time she was dating someone else.

 

This is going to jade me on the concept of love for a bit. I know this. She told me she loved me many times and the whole time she was dating someone else. Well, sorry for her, but she lost out on something awesome. Her loss.

[hannah_k]

Well, sorry for her, but she lost out on something awesome. Her loss.

 

That's a great way to look at it. Amen.

[coyne740]

That's the way I have to look at it. Someone did this to me years ago, and she still isn't happy. She (girl from years ago) has sent me messages saying how she messed up and I was great and she wished she wouldn't have done it. But she knew that I was over it all. Once something like this burns me, I go a little dead inside and think of the next day and the next and get over it. It takes something like this to make me stop caring, usually.

[SadAndy]

I feel for you my friend, i am still struggling to come to terms with the fact someone so close could be so manipulative and, dare i say it, evil.

 

I am trying to say 'her loss' which i genuinely believe (without sounding up myself) but when you have nothing and they have the new partner, its easier said than done!

[coyne740]

The thing is brother... I feel it is her loss. She was an ugly, ugly person, who even though she has someone new... what kind of relationship do they have that she was doing this behind his back? I could be vindictive and contact him, but I am not that person at all. Just have to chalk it up as a loss and realize that she is never going to be happy... at all...

[coyne740]

Came back from lunch and had a text from her -

"Your pathetic insane attempts to contact me are bats*** crazy. You don't know about my life and neither does anyone you have talked to. Never contact me again or make an attempt."

 

I let it lie at that one.

[Donster]

There is such a temptation to have the last word. She sounds like a piece of work.

[britomart]

You've been NC for 5 days...and she sent you another text just now?

[coyne740]

I was NC until I found out that she was still dating someone the whole time we were talking again.

 

I initiated the conversation by saying that I had found out she was still with the guy the whole time

 

She sent a text that said I was insane, then another that said that my attempts at communication were pathetic and that nobody but her knew what was going on in her life, least of all myself.

 

I sent one back that said, "I just want the truth, I don't really care because my mind is made up about this, but for once, do yourself this favor and come clean with all parties involved. I will not be saying anything to anyone, that is not my place and it's all on your conscience"

 

Have not heard anything since, I have blocked her on everything and she will not communicate. I just wonder what goes through someone's head who can tell you they love you, want to be with you, and the whole time be dating someone else too.... that is such a hard job, dating two people at once. Plus, the moral implications are horrible as well. She isn't going to see it as "real cheating" because we never did get physical in that time period, however, I think emotional cheating is the same (she would call like we were together, tell me she loved me all of the time, every night before bed conversations, etc).

[DN]

If you have blocked her on everything how do you know she has not tried to communicate? I am not clear why you would say you want the truth and to come clean and then block her.

[coyne740]

I blocked her on IM, I can't block texting because I use the phone for business and her emails go to my archive folder automatically. I know this girl and she is not going to communicate. She ran from her emotions for months and months whenever I would try to talk to her about anything serious.

 

She wants the light and fluffy view of the world all of the time without any of the kernels of truth poking through. Whenever something angers her or she gets tired of it, she just moves on to the next without a care in the world. She got angry with me because I couldn't be friends immediately after we stopped talking. She is "friends" with all of her ex's, and I am not that person. I am "out of sight, out of mind, maybe down the road".

 

If she wanted to communicate, there are ways she could do it, and she knows that.

[coyne740]

Moment of weakness alert....

 

I want to email her so badly and ask why... to send a text and ask what did I do to deserve this. Feeling so negative after someone told me how good she is doing right now. She still hasn't answered why she would have done this to me.

 

The only thing I can think is that we were long distance, she wanted something close to home but wanted to keep me in her life. She hasn't answered the text or any email I had sent in the past on the why of this.... Help, please....

[coyne740]

I'm better now... vented a bit on some paper with Foo Fighters "Best of You" in the background....

 

Still, if anyone wants to give their thoughts on the thought process of this type of person, I am all ears!!!!

[coyne740]

And... she texts and blames everything on me. There never was another guy, what I found out was not true, and it was all my fault. That's selfish. I did send a text back that pretty much said "I have the proof in front of me, yes, we both made mistakes, I will not be contacting you again".

[coyne740]

Now... it stands at the point where she has texted me with random things about movies she is watching and LOST....

 

This woman amazes me. She wants to read a novel I was working on and critique it, she says she misses the "secure, confident" me. For some reason, she made me so needy and insecure, and I have never been like that. Don't get drawn back in, don't get drawn back in.

 

She didn't say if she was dating someone, but my guess is yes, she is now. Who knows with her.

[DN]

Don't get drawn back in, don't get drawn back in.

Thare you go - use this as a mantra.

[coyne740]

Yup... I need to... I am having fun and when she doesn't initiate contact, I have no desire to contact her at all... it's really hard not to just reply back to her random texts. Plus, she is very well read and I always enjoyed her opinion on my writing.

 

On another note, a girl asked me out for Friday, said she would call last night and never did. A question to everyone out there, for when I am ready to date again (I'm not). When do you know the difference between chasing someone and when it becomes creepy. I know women like men to give them attention, but what's the rule? If a text goes unanswered, don't send another one as a feeler?