how to reject a guy who seems to be too ''perfect" for me?

[coffeebaby]

He has planned to go on a date with me when he comes back. i dont feel right. i dont want to go on a date with someone i have the feeling i wont feel comfy with. i prefer simpler men. he seems to have everything and want to be everything. and i have the thought that if a person is perfect/trying to be perfect, he/she most probably will expect the other to be perfect too. i dont want him to expect anything from me. how do i tell him to call the date off? i sent my last reply, lastnite i checked my inbox and saw his reply on it, am not sure if i should ignore him from now or explain to him why i dont want to go on a date with him. he's a good catch, but sometimes a good catch doesnt mean i must have him.....

ps. the meaning of my 'date' = going out on a date, not relationship date.

[hannah_k]

Honestly, I'd say give it a go. You never know. You may hit it off really well. It may not that he wants to be perfect, but maybe he's a pleaser. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Expectations are usually low on first dates. You may be denying yourself a good opportunity. And if it turns out that he's not for you, then just look at is as seeing a movie you've wanted to see or trying something new. It really couldn't hurt.

[simply]

There are people who demand perfection from themselves and could care less how the person their with is, so long as they have a good personality or looks, or both.

 

If you like him, give it a shot, whats one date? it's no big deal. Just avoid the topic of work and what car he drives and ask questions that reveal his true personality.

Anyone who projects perfection is far from it, it's a nice status to present, but it isn't the true nature of that person.

[Brenda222]

I was with someone who thought he was perfect for years. In the end when he cheated on me it was because he didnt feel I was good enough for him. He turned out to be verbally abusive.]

 

The best thing to do is either go out wth him or dont. Dont be a child and ignore a phone call. If you dont want to go out with him then dont and tell him yu dont want to go out with him. If yu do then do it but dont sit and play silly games.

[GoneCrazy]

Like others says whats one date you never no you might like him, happens to alot of people they go out with someone thinking they have nothing in commin, sure enough years later there getting married.

 

But if thats your choice just tel lhim the truth or whatever the reason is, and if he doesn't get it then ignore.

[Iakasot]

He's obviously not perfect if he's not what you want. Consider that you might have the wrong idea about what you want, if you're finding yourself in these situations. Is he nice? Too accommodating? Why did you feel the need to call him "perfect"?

[hexaemeron]

I would think that meeting someone who held high expectations of himself would be an asset. To be with someone who does not give up, who knows what he wants and goes out and gets it. Why are these bad traits?

 

And, if I may ask, why don't you have these expectations of yourself? Shouldn't you?

[greywolf]

It sounds like you're intimidated by him? Why? Do you feel like he's better than you, or that you can't match up to him?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Why do you call him 'perfect'? I don't think anyone is perfect, honestly.

 

I think that you need to figure out what is going on here. You like this guy but he's too good? Either you have low self esteem, a need for drama or 'excitement' in relationship, or you've been in relationships with 'perfect' men before who try to be controlling to you.

 

Honestly, it sounds like you really like this guy and he has what you desire in a partner. Why NOT give it a try? May just be a great experience.

[I_Speak_Jive]

I would think that meeting someone who held high expectations of himself would be an asset. To be with someone who does not give up, who knows what he wants and goes out and gets it. Why are these bad traits?

 

And, if I may ask, why don't you have these expectations of yourself? Shouldn't you?

 

Someone who works hard to get far in life (in terms of personal development, health, fitness, career, personal experiences, whatever) does not have a lot of time or inclinations to worship someone else and make them the main focus of their existence. This is very threatening to some.

[d24]

remember he asked you out.

who cares if he's a good catch, he wanted to spend his time with you.

I'd say you're mad if you don't give it a shot, just to see 'what if' you know?

[sidehop]

i prefer simpler men. he seems to have everything and want to be everything. and i have the thought that if a person is perfect/trying to be perfect, he/she most probably will expect the other to be perfect too. i

 

You can't start labeling everyone until you get to know the person. It wouldn't hurt to go on a date, you're not committing to anything from the beginning after all

[Jd1983]

Just be upfront and let him know.

 

Personally, I would just go on the date and see how it works out. You may actually start to like him. It's too early to judge a book by it's cover.

 

However, if you're adamant on not going, then I would just be straight up and let him know. Don't waste anymore of his time, and your time.

[Ms Darcy]

It sounds like you're intimidated by him?

 

If you have made up your mind, then it's a good enough reason not to go out with him.