staryeyes Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 I was at an ask/answer website, I posted an answer to a question and this guy was fond of it and sent me a message. We instantly hit it off and I think he's a really sweet guy. I'm not looking for a relationship, especially since he lives on the opposite side of the country; I just really enjoy talking to him. The thing is, we had a sexually explicit conversation at one point, and then he left for the night. He told me he thought I was cool and asked me to please talk to him later and gave me his email and asked for mine. I gave him mine and that was that. I then took a look at his profile and he is 22. I'm 17. I emailed him and told him that I was 17, that I would understand if he didn't feel comfortable. I asked him to at least let me know how he felt, good or bad. So I'm curious if you think he'll email me back. He's fun to talk to and he's really caught my attention, I'm really hoping to get a response. Is this bad? I'm really nervous to be honest. Link to comment
hannah_k Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 I don't think it's bad that you'd like a response. At 17, the age difference may seem astronomical, but the gap seems to close as you get older. In the meantime, be careful though, about the information you give about yourself. And don't get too bummed if he doesn't respond. Otherwise, I don't see why it's a bad thing. Link to comment
Hopelives Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 PLEASE be very, very .... careful!!! I cannot say this strong enough. Men who are predators prey on the young women who think these very charismatic men are for real. Keep your guard up, keep your privacy very private. Link to comment
addictedblue Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 What's the point of talking to a 22 year old guy sexually accross the country? That's what I think about this...why wouldn't you just want to meet someone closer to your age who you could actually hang out with. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 PLEASE be very, very .... careful!!! I cannot say this strong enough. Men who are predators prey on the young women who think these very charismatic men are for real. Keep your guard up, keep your privacy very private. I don't see this guy as preying on her. Yeah, they had a sexual convo but he didn't know her age. She just told him. Let us know how it goes. I can respect the guy if a) he never replies back or b) replies back but says he is uncomfortable with the age thing (you're underage) but maybe you can still be friends but NO sex? If he seems enamored and NOT bothered in the least by the fact that you're underage, then yes, I'd worry. Link to comment
Hopelives Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 I don't see this guy as preying on her. Yeah, they had a sexual convo but he didn't know her age. She just told him. I didn't say he WAS preying on her but... I'm one of those that gets calls in the middle of the night to go on search and rescue teams for missing young women who answered dating ads from creeps that portray themselves as younger men, turning out to be sleazy (and worse) older men. That the sexually explicit conversation was started online, that he asked for her email addy, that she (and you) are young, and naive to think it is okay to give out that information immediately, that he has since disappeared... scares me. Women, especially very young women, NEED to be very careful about their information - creeps can track your physical address via email - right to your front door. Trust me on that - they can add a small little macro on your email that will tell them when you open an email, from what location down to the IP address. BE CAREFUL when giving out your info. Link to comment
staryeyes Posted April 19, 2010 Author Share Posted April 19, 2010 Well just to let you all know, he did email me back and apologized about the conversation and said that we can just talk as friends. Neither of are looking for a relationship with the other, and the sexual conversation we had was extremely mild. I've always been taught to be careful about online saftey, he doesn't even know my name, and the information I used to create the email in the first place doesn't have any personal information such as city or adress. Link to comment
Hopelives Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 I've always been taught to be careful about online saftey, he doesn't even know my name, and the information I used to create the email in the first place doesn't have any personal information such as city or adress. Perfect!! Just as you are a great example on how to stay safe, and yet have fun Link to comment
sidehop Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 I agree with Hope you really do have to be careful but sounds like the OP is very aware. Nothing wrong with keeping it friendly. Who knows, he may be on the other side of the country but eventually things could lead to where you two can meet in the future. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Just curious, which country are you from OP? This doesn't shady to me, and even if it turns out that he has bad intentions, it sounds like you understand already about staying safe online and not giving out your info. If you're not interested in anything more with him then I don't see the harm in talking to him, even explicitly if you enjoy that, so long as you're careful about private details, not giving out pictures, stuff like that. Link to comment
Hopelives Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 I don't see the harm in talking to him, even explicitly if you enjoy that, so long as you're careful about private details, not giving out pictures, stuff like that. In the U.S., any man doing something like that with someone under 18 can be charged with sexual molestation of an underage person. Which is probably why this guy backed off saying they could be friends. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 I have a feeling if he knew the age before the chat, then he wouldn't have engaged. I doubt he could be charged with anything now. If the age isn't known and sexual stuff happens, he couldn't be charged with molestation because he didn't know it was a minor. He could fight back with charges of "entrapment", and that's worked in the past. Bottom line: before you do anything sexual with anyone, know their ages and the legalities of the situation. Link to comment
Loriana Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 Hey staryeyes i'm in a simular situation to you i'm also 17 but i'm talking to a 23 year old, with us we're just friends cos he said to me when we met he probably wouldn't date a 17 year old so as we're just friends the age gap isn't a problem as such but if you do develop feelings thats when it can cause problems. It's good you're not looking for a relationship and you seem to stay safe on the internet like me. Even though he seems nice at the end of the day you don't really if he is who he says he is and this can be really frustrating cos you wanna believe they'll do you no harm. With me i always have that at the back of my mind just be cautious and aware of things. Link to comment
Baily Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 look at the age gap...he's 22 and your 17....that's 5 years.... would you talk to a 12 year old? That's 5 years... you two have little in common to make it last...sorry...and it's way too far away. get real and set your sites on finding someone local. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.