Dating a cousin!?!?!?

[faithful14]

In a couple months, I'm going to see my ex-best friend at a big get together. We stopped being friends three years ago because of what happened between us.......

 

My friend is mad at me because im dating her cousin....her (cousin by marriage) who she's in love with. She gave me permission to date him and she has a boyfriend...but she's telling everybody that i stole him from her. So my question is...did i do something wrong here and would anybody date a cousin (cousin by marriage)?

 

 

I feel bad because i never meant to hurt her or anything. I asked her face to face if it was okay..and she said yes because she was into another guy and she was also dating another guy..and then all of a sudden she turned on me saying that I "stole" her boyfriend and she went told everyone in the family about it, basically getting everyone involved in this. Her mom even went and told everyone I'm a .I don't want to be a boyfriend stealer or anything, that's why i had to ask... Is what I did wrong here? This happened three years ago, but she still hasn't gotten over it and now her family and some of the cousins dislike me.

 

I guess I should add that when all this was happening, I did call a couple times and asked her to meet me for coffee or something, so we could talk about it but she never responded. I forgot to mention that when my boyfriend first asked me out, I said no because I didn't want to do it unless she was okay. My friend found out and she came and talked to me about it saying she was okay with it since she was already seeing someone else. I asked her to be honest with me if it did really bother her but she kept saying she was fine since she was dating someone else.

[OntheWire]

Well if she gave you permission, then the whole mess is really her fault.

 

As for dating a cousin, I don't see anything wrong with it. I think half the relationships in Wuthering Heights were between cousins.

[Applewhite]

There is nothing about dating a cousin (who is not really a cousin).

 

As for the rest of this, if it is accurate that she gave you 'permission' (not that you should need any in the situation you described) you are certainly not at fault.

[googoodollsroc]

It's not your fault if she gave you permission. It's almost like if somone gave you gum then acused you of stealing it from them.

[pinkelephant]

It's been THREE (3) years?!?! Tell her to get over herself.

 

 

Even if you did steal her boyfriend, she needs to get over it.

[Firiel]

Yeah, this is her issue. She a)was dating someone else and b)told you it wouldn't bother her. Totally, 100% her issue. She can't expect you to read her mind.

[HouseKitten]

Agreed with everyone else above, you're not a mind reader. If she cared, she should have said so, but if she explicitly said 'no it's okay' then what were you supposed to think?

 

Completely her own fault.

[In the Dark]

I'd say she still wants her cousin.

 

She indeed gave you permission but really didn't want to.

 

I find it sad she is like this considering she has a boyfriend anyway.

[Celestialagape54]

I agree with the other posters and she needs to let this go. If the guy had wanted to be with her then he would have done so. He obviously wanted you and you shouldn't be punished for that. No matter what I feel is she REALLY cared for you she would be happy for you because you are happy not talking crap about you. How could you have stolen something from her that was never really hers?

 

Just my two cents....

[Cognitive_Canine]

So, even though she is taken, she can tell you to date other men that she has interest in?

 

If I were her boyfriend, I'd be extremely upset. What is he? A safety net?

[Taikero]

If she makes a big stink at the get together, just go tell her boyfriend she's been after her cousin/your boyfriend for years.

 

If she wants to slander your name over an agreed upon situation and secretly lust after somebody who's taken while she's with somebody else, then she doesn't deserve to have her feelings remain unknown to those who are affected the most by her cruel, two-faced, self-serving nature.

[faithful14]

Thanks for the reponses. I honestly never meant to upset her and I wish she would let it go after all this time. It's unfair because some of the family members really dislike me because of the things she has said and they have never made an effort to even get to know me. Sometimes I just don't want to go to these get togethers because it's very uncomfortable for me.

 

Oh and the situation with her own bf is very on and off from what I have heard. She has been on dates with others guys when they were still together and she has even taken some interest in her own cousin's ex-boyfriends. I honestly don't think that after everything that has happened, that we could ever be friends again. It makes me really sad but it is what it is.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Thanks for the reponses. I honestly never meant to upset her and I wish she would let it go after all this time. It's unfair because some of the family members really dislike me because of the things she has said and they have never made an effort to even get to know me. Sometimes I just don't want to go to these get togethers because it's very uncomfortable for me.

 

Oh and the situation with her own bf is very on and off from what I have heard. She has been on dates with others guys when they were still together and she has even taken some interest in her own cousin's ex-boyfriends. I honestly don't think that after everything that has happened, that we could ever be friends again. It makes me really sad but it is what it is.

 

Do you really want to be her friend? She doesn't seem that loyal and rather drama oriented.

[faithful14]

No, I honestly don't but I think sometimes I miss the old friend she used to be. She is a lot of drama now.

[kotalynn]

Yeah completely not your fault. If she gave permission she is making this a drama thing. Maybe she wants to see if he never would've stayed with you and go running to her? But just brush it off and said YOU said yes so here I am with your cousin/my boyfriend. It's okay to be with a cousin who's not related to you. My boyfriends ex was his cousins cousin, but then again his aunt and uncle were cousins so I guess that makes his ex his cousin....? This reminds me of my engagement. My boyfriend Kellen's stepdad is my cousin so it's like he's my nephew. It's funny when my cousin Kelly says My cousin and nephew are getting married-to each other! Yeah things are weird on the rez lol.

[faithful14]

I don't about anyone else, but it just seems weird to me to date someone within the family. I look at my cousin's cousins and yeah even though we are not technically related, it still creeps me out if I try to think of them in an intimate way. I don't know, that's just me though.