Doing the right thing/ making things right.

[getbiii]

so this has nothing to do with getting her back, its a personal thing although i would love her back.

 

i wanna know if there is anyway at all that i can reverse/make it better for the pain i caused my ex during our relationship.

 

i know saying anything won't change the harm done but it might at least help her let go of the harm i've done.

 

lately i've been thinking about our relationship and everytime i remember when i was bad or neglected her i feel real bad, im hoping that by doing some action, if she forgives me i might be able to let go of those bad feelings of guilt and what not and it will put me one step closer to healing.

 

after all the break up i guess could be said that was more my fault than her, she was just fed up with me neglecting her.

[misssmithviii]

If you feel like apologizing, I see no problem.

It'll help you feel better if anything. Just... don't expect much of a response from her if it ended on such bad terms.

[getbiii]

yeah i wanna appologize but i don't know how to do it...

she doesn't have a cell phone anymore,

i was wondering if it would be a good idea via e-mail to do?

 

well it didn't end in bad terms, we were talking until yesterday when she said it wasn't good idea to keep takling because she is having a lot of mental issues right now,

we have been apart for almost 3 months now, and a month after we broke up she fell into depression...

i guess thats why i feel so bad right now because she is hurting a lot.

 

i honestly did not do anything too bad, i never insulted her or abused her in any way.

i was just kinda a bad boy friend near the end, i wasn't caring about our relationship anymore as much as i should of and i kept stressing out/getting mad because of other things in my life and kinda taking it out on her, or more like she had to deal with all of my negativity

[misssmithviii]

Email is just fine, it might even be easier for you to divulge your emotions more thoroughly you know?

[abigheart]

I was similarly in your shoes where I was feeling very guilty but personally for some of my insecure and outright random mean behavior I showed towards my ex during our relationship.

 

I ended up e-mailing him a few weeks after the break-up, now that the dust had settled and I could see things in an objective way. I think e-mail is best so that you can write it out and come back to it a few hours or a day later, and re-word or work it. Sometimes, you end up wondering "wait why did I write that? or this?" I mean it's not a huge deal, but sometimes you just don't wanna go off randomly writing something. Same with talking on the phone or seeing them in person...you might just end up going on and on and not really get to the simple point that you're sorry.

 

What I did was send a simple e-mail that contained no "I miss you"s or similar thoughts. I apologized and then told him I felt that I needed to grow and mature, too. Because it's true, I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I made with my ex in the future with the next person, whether it's him or not. Of course, I didn't say that part...

 

He was thankful for my note and even went to say that the times I hurt him were "few and far in between." But he said he was glad to hear that I'm trying to embrace life and work on personal goals and myself. I think it eases the guilt a little bit? I don't know how you reacted when your ex broke up with you, but I made him feel very guilty Now that he heard that I was not bitter or feeling sorry for myself, was taking some responsibility, we ended on a good note. Of course, I'm still in a LOT of pain but i felt this was a move I had to do. And remember, it takes 2 people to contribute to a break-up.

 

Best of luck!

[getbiii]

ok so she just called me...

she said it doesn't matter, it does to me.

i feel kinda bad. i mean the way she said it was kinda like "what ever"

so i feel like i still want to write that because i just kinda asked her for forgiveness in two senteces.

which isn't a lot.

i just said "i know if hurt you a lot in the past i just wanted you to know that i regret everytime i made you feel bad because i loved you. sorry"

[Stella Sleepwalks]

ok so she just called me...

she said it doesn't matter, it does to me.

i feel kinda bad. i mean the way she said it was kinda like "what ever"

so i feel like i still want to write that because i just kinda asked her for forgiveness in two senteces.

which isn't a lot.

i just said "i know if hurt you a lot in the past i just wanted you to know that i regret everytime i made you feel bad because i loved you. sorry"

 

You sound a bit like my ex. He said to me that whatever he did that hurt me, wasn't intentional. It helped, but my reaction was the same - indifferent. I had no more emotion for him at that point - I was mentally exhausted over the whole thing.

 

This girl is hurting, and she wants to heal. Leave her alone in case you set her back. You've said what you wanna say, you can't keep pursuing this to make yourself feel better. She will end up resenting you further and you'll both end up back to square one.

 

Healing starts with saying goodbye and embracing NC.

[getbiii]

=)

sheeeee called me,

im sure you hurt your ex too,

im not a demon, she has hurt me maybe even more. she has told me things like she hates me, im a waste of time, etc but i know they weren't true just like i hope she realizes what i ever did that hurt her, was also not intentional.

i just feel bad because of the state she is in right now,

 

i feel that, thats what love is about...

forgiving, you forgive the one you love.

if we couldnt we would stay and the past and so would the relationship.

 

she said she dumped her rebound to be with me again,

how ever she is kinda mad at me right now for a stupid reason =S

she has been going into my blog and has been reading things and interperting things badly, like some days i uploaded lyrics to a song i was listening to at the momment, which was about hate and things like that, she thinks i wrote them because of her...

 

so now she says that im playing games with her, because i say i lover her then i write bad things about her =S

which is way off i hardly lie and less to her.

[minou]

She sounds like a bit of a self-centered drama queen. She's interpreting a song you put up as being about her for no reason? How can you ever do right with someone like that? Forgive me if I'm wrong. What was she like to be with? You said you neglected her in the end and got kind of mean, but frankly what was she like as a gf?

[iBroken]

Agree with Minou

 

And getbii, why are you taking blame for the demise of this relationship?

 

It takes two people to let a relationship fail. You both played the part - she just decided to go....so really, what are you apologizing for?

 

I also dont think apologizing will do you any good.....I think you are thinking about apologizing as a way to hold on....you gotta let go