mikelopez Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Hello all. My concern is about my life literally (Ill Explain as I go on), what actions I should take, and the best sharp advice you guys can please share with me. A little about myself for those who never read a one of my post: I am a college student, who was raised in a gang infested area in Los Angeles, whos grown a lot thanks to my counselor who I will talk to asap, self help books, research online, movies, and basically drastic life experiences. Growing up I was bullied for various reason, eventually I learned how to defend myself by turning the attention to others to avoid humiliation and pain; I came from a family with no education, low income, ignorant believes (traditions,) alcoholic father, dependant mother, but with all those set backs my sisters where able to lead the way by going to college and graduating, providing me a great example to follow. But I tried to live a double life, school boy with the qualities that define a typical "gang-banger;" basically someone who is not afraid to commiting any form of crime. But college changed me a lot. I learned how to love others, respect, not to be a follower but a leader, my confidence is growing by the second, and things just started falling into the right place. I started the transition of change; I don't steal anymore, I don't say rude hurtful things consciously, became friends with people who have no friends. I became the good guy I always been. I learned that I can't fights everyone, it takes too much energy, time, and I am tired of living the "hood life." Hence what happened was that I was in LA with two friends in my vehicle. We were driving by when a local gang member who I'll call "bark" from the neighborhood I grew up in got into an scuffle with another individual; things were getting crazy, screaming, gangbaning, threats and so forth. "Bark" noticed me driving away, and asked me to "back him up that he wanted to jump, stave the dude."(something in between those lines) I was with two minors who he knows 16, 17 years of age and I said something like, "damm I'm with these guys." The reason I used them as an excuse was because this did not seem like it was going to be an ordinary fight were we just get down and forget about it, this seemed serious. I was honestly worried about my younger friends snitching to police if things went bad, or them being hurt because of me. I think I did the correct thing by driving off; but as I drove off, "bark" said he never wanted to see us around his "hood" anymore. We live less than 4 blocks from him. I know about "barks" hood reputation as a ruthless individual who is not afraid to do time or of anyone. He is very feared by many because is from a big feared gang with a lot of active members that'll do anything he says. I was warned though a close friend to watch my back because they wanted to get me for not backing him up; “bark” said that it was 3 of us and none of us did a thing so F us. So I warned my friends to be careful, but they both thought that he would not do anything to them; but I know him and he would if he wanted to. I know he does not care about much, but his image and respect. When he say's something he usually does it. It's in him 33 years of age, convicted before and well respected inside the jail, prison system. So my friend ignored my advice and decided to keep going back riding on his bike like everything was good. "bark" noticed him in the street went up to him and took his bike and is not giving it back to him. He told him that he was going to sell his bike, that he got jacked, and to do something. Then my younger friend got mad at me saying that it was all my fault, and hung up on me. Now I’m scared both ways, a close young friend is mad at me for something I had no control over, and I'm scared for my life. We can't just turn to police and report a stolen bike because snitches get killed all the time especially in the hood. I already have a friend doing life in jail for murder, 3 rest in peace friends, and I don’t want to end up in either route. I been working extra hard to change, but doing the right thing is getting me in trouble so it seems. The last thing my younger friend told me that is hunting me right now was "F U, its all your fault." He blamed me because he knows me from my past life as a bad boy too, but now I have something to live for, family, good friends, career choices, so I am not in the same state of mind as before. I need support, help, my heart hurts what should I do. I am lucky to be able to live outside the hood but am still required to be out there a few hours on weekends for work related reasons. I was thinking that if I avoid a confrontation, just lay low for a while things might change but idk. PLEase please please please help please help please. Thank you for your time Link to comment
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