My life is in danger help

[mikelopez]

Hello all. My concern is about my life literally (Ill Explain as I go on), what actions I should take, and the best sharp advice you guys can please share with me. A little about myself for those who never read a one of my post: I am a college student, who was raised in a gang infested area in Los Angeles, whos grown a lot thanks to my counselor who I will talk to asap, self help books, research online, movies, and basically drastic life experiences. Growing up I was bullied for various reason, eventually I learned how to defend myself by turning the attention to others to avoid humiliation and pain; I came from a family with no education, low income, ignorant believes (traditions,) alcoholic father, dependant mother, but with all those set backs my sisters where able to lead the way by going to college and graduating, providing me a great example to follow. But I tried to live a double life, school boy with the qualities that define a typical "gang-banger;" basically someone who is not afraid to commiting any form of crime. But college changed me a lot. I learned how to love others, respect, not to be a follower but a leader, my confidence is growing by the second, and things just started falling into the right place. I started the transition of change; I don't steal anymore, I don't say rude hurtful things consciously, became friends with people who have no friends. I became the good guy I always been. I learned that I can't fights everyone, it takes too much energy, time, and I am tired of living the "hood life."

 

 

Hence what happened was that I was in LA with two friends in my vehicle. We were driving by when a local gang member who I'll call "bark" from the neighborhood I grew up in got into an scuffle with another individual; things were getting crazy, screaming, gangbaning, threats and so forth. "Bark" noticed me driving away, and asked me to "back him up that he wanted to jump, stave the dude."(something in between those lines) I was with two minors who he knows 16, 17 years of age and I said something like, "damm I'm with these guys." The reason I used them as an excuse was because this did not seem like it was going to be an ordinary fight were we just get down and forget about it, this seemed serious. I was honestly worried about my younger friends snitching to police if things went bad, or them being hurt because of me. I think I did the correct thing by driving off; but as I drove off, "bark" said he never wanted to see us around his "hood" anymore. We live less than 4 blocks from him. I know about "barks" hood reputation as a ruthless individual who is not afraid to do time or of anyone. He is very feared by many because is from a big feared gang with a lot of active members that'll do anything he says.

 

 

I was warned though a close friend to watch my back because they wanted to get me for not backing him up; “bark” said that it was 3 of us and none of us did a thing so F us.

 

So I warned my friends to be careful, but they both thought that he would not do anything to them; but I know him and he would if he wanted to. I know he does not care about much, but his image and respect. When he say's something he usually does it. It's in him 33 years of age, convicted before and well respected inside the jail, prison system. So my friend ignored my advice and decided to keep going back riding on his bike like everything was good. "bark" noticed him in the street went up to him and took his bike and is not giving it back to him. He told him that he was going to sell his bike, that he got jacked, and to do something. Then my younger friend got mad at me saying that it was all my fault, and hung up on me. Now I’m scared both ways, a close young friend is mad at me for something I had no control over, and I'm scared for my life. We can't just turn to police and report a stolen bike because snitches get killed all the time especially in the hood.

 

I already have a friend doing life in jail for murder, 3 rest in peace friends, and I don’t want to end up in either route. I been working extra hard to change, but doing the right thing is getting me in trouble so it seems. The last thing my younger friend told me that is hunting me right now was "F U, its all your fault." He blamed me because he knows me from my past life as a bad boy too, but now I have something to live for, family, good friends, career choices, so I am not in the same state of mind as before. I need support, help, my heart hurts what should I do. I am lucky to be able to live outside the hood but am still required to be out there a few hours on weekends for work related reasons. I was thinking that if I avoid a confrontation, just lay low for a while things might change but idk. PLEase please please please help please help please. Thank you for your time

[misssmithviii]

The right thing isn't always the easy thing. What you must remember is that at the end of the day, is you are much more mature than these 'gangbangers' and you've got much more of a future already. They aim to create fear as if it's respect but one thing they cannot deny is they are always vulnerable to the law.

 

Is there any way you can simply avoid this place altogether?

 

I was once quite heavily immersed in a bad world and I was very bad myself. I manipulated people and had a gift for being able to talk money out of people... hundreds of dollars on command. When I released myself from that world (although I wasn't involved for very long) I knew very well that 'snitches get killed' and all that b/s. I never snitched, but if it meant my life - if it was ruining my life I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to call the authorities.

 

But if you insist that will not help and will only aggravate the situation then I strongly suggest you do what I did and you get the h*ll away from that environment entirely.

 

As for your friends blaming you, they're young - they probably don't understand that it's not your fault. Talk to them, try and reason but if you can't then just remember you didn't make the wrong decision but in fact, you made the right one... and you're a much, much, much better person for doing so.

 

^_^y

[mikelopez]

Thanks, I am going to stop hanging out since I have no choice anymore; but how do I deal with my younger friend? Do I give it time and then talk to him; because he clicked on me and said "F U, its all your fault," do I never try to talk to him again? I was thinking of getting a nuetrual friend who I trust to maybe talk to him and calm him down and hopefully get him too see that it was not my fault.

[misssmithviii]

If I were in your position I wouldn't be associating with anybody who was immature. If you believe this friend is mature enough - (which it doesn't sound like it because he's blaming you for making the right decision) - then talk to him.

 

I just don't think having somebody like that in your life is a good influence. Negativity is something I've avoided, and it does very well for my life.

[mgirl]

Gosh, i really feel for you. I have often thought of what i would do if i lived in a "hood" and wanted to get out, cos it seems the people inside it don't / wouldn't want you to escape. I decided that i would act like an idiot, sort of like the 'village idiot', so i was no threat to anyone, but in the meantime, i would be studying hard (to get out, and not telling anyone).

 

I guess the other thing is to try to get a job that's not in the "hood". You sound like an intelligent person, and i wish you all the luck in your life!

 

To answer your question, maybe lay low for as long as you can. Is it not possible that they will find something else to focus on? I think you were right not to trust the younger guys you were with. One of them has already proven to be untrustworthy, perhaps due to his age. But, nevertheless, "trust no one" and trust your own instincts...

 

I wish you luck my friend... Perhaps talk to your counsellor about it ?

 

But, as i said, perhaps avoidance is the key at the moment. Avoidance of Bark, and avoidance of this younger guy (and maybe his friend as well?), and that includes not answering your phone. Let it ring out.

 

I hope everything works out for you, i really do... Please post back here and let us know how you are going xx.

 

PS. Just read your response... I think "time" and your mutual friend to talk to him.

[mikelopez]

I am just hopin things dont get worst; how long sould I avoid them? I mean my younger friend is a close friend that I know because of his brother RIP. He was already depress because of that, a girl who he wished was with him but is not, now this. He felt suicidal before that is why I worry about him, but I know a confrontation might lead to him acting irrational and attacking me, or putting the blame on me like he did. He may be more afraid of them than he is of me, and I am thinking that they could use that as a tool to show that I am not down for him. I am thiking they might tell him something like where is your friend at now? This situation sucks. more advice if possible please.

[mikelopez]

update: I talked with good people in my school who experienced similar and more tragic situation than this one. What they did was that they competly stopped hagging out in those slipery places until they finish school. They told me that that world, the "hood", rules don't normally change; it was a matter of time before I was going to be put on the spot to keep proving myself or be made to look like a "" because I did not do what the normality in the hood was. I used my brain, I was able to think. I thought about my younger friend not being ready for this type of situation, hence I did something out of my normal behavior.

 

Reflecting on this, made me realize that it's not up to me to save others. I can only be an example and I think I made the correct choice. I just worry because now I have to watch my back. But I also learned that the anger he showed was due to something he must be going through. So now I can only pray for his soul to be safe, because people in that state of mind don't last long. I hope my younger friend will one day realize I did the right thing. I'ma give it some time and then check up on him to see if he is still mad at me or not; but it does not matter this incident made me snap out of this hood life. I worked out today, am searching for a job, and studied and will keep studying. I just hope all it well.

[mikelopez]

Lol this was two years ago, the update, I got in good terms with my younger friends, I did not stop going to the hood, well I did because I did not have any money for gas, but I was still out there. I tried to show zero fear, even passed through the idiots house a few times, one of his fellow gang members did a shooting motion with his hand when I was driving by, and he kept harassing a lot of my little homies... We were not the only ones who he had problems with.... Today he is locked up he ran into a police station with a gun, an automatic high on drugs, got locked up, took a deal and SNITCHED, on who sold him the gun, and now he's dead in the streets. Rumor is there going to kill him when he gets out, he with the snitches, the gays, the rapist, and I'm happy things turned out the way they did. He's a murderer I can't prove it, because I never broke the only hood rule, no SNITCHING, and it's all hearsay, but when you know someone is guilty you know, I guess the streets finally caught up to him at age 36 it would be now.......

 

Reflecting I'll handle this situation different, I would of called the cops on him instead of borrowing a gun myself for protection, I knew he always carried a gun, so I had to risk it too since I wanted to be big and tough....it's crazy how we are so young and dumb I. The hood lol....