How % of my salary do I have to give to child maintenance?

[MrRight]

Hi,

 

Couple married for 11 years.

One child, 8 year old.

Wife is educated, has not worked full-time in the last 7 years, but should be able to work.

 

In upcoming divorce, I expect that I have to give 50% of assets to wife.

 

If I make $14K/month, how many % of my salary should I expect to give to my child? (alimony).

[MrRight]

Holy cow. I see here that it depends on the state, but I can easily expect from 17%-20% of my disposable income. So If I bring net income of $10K/month, I should expect to pay around $2,000/month in child support!! Since when a kid will need $2,000/month to be raised... Jesus Christ. Then from I can read the wife can easily claim that she was taking care of kids and very likely I will end up paying her alimony or maintenance for sometime. Now I know why so many good men out there become jerks instead of going to the route of divorce.

[sophie274]

Well, did your wife not take care of your child while you were married? I assume your wife will have primary custody (sounds like given the child support payment).

 

Just looked over your past threads - seems like you have been in divorce proceedings for over two years? What has taken so long?

 

Anyway, it's not that it takes X amount of money to raise a child: it's that if you have a nice standard of living - and at 14 thousand dollars a month, you do - it is deemed fair that your child should also benefit from that standard of living. You can raise a child on very little, but extra money can very much enrich a child's upbringing, and not just in a materialistic way: it might pay for private schooling, extra-curricular lessons and activities, that sort of thing. In addition, remember that you're not just paying for the "marginal cost" of your wife raising a child - that money also helps provide a proper home for him.

 

As for alimony, from what others have said on your thread it sounds likely that she will get some alimony for some period of time, but not for life obviously.

[OntheWire]

Sucks, dude. You could always try hiding out in a country in South America. But then you probably wouldn't be making a lot of money anymore.

[denise_14]

I see the need for some sound and legal interventions here. It varies from different states and countries, I think.

[sidehop]

If you're in the US, most states should have a website for estimating child support payment. But of course it's an estimate so you'll want to consult a lawyer regarding the issue.

[Mek]

In many states there is a program to run to figure out how much... but it is just guideline and depends on the Judge and how much an A-hole he can be. Judges usually side with the women... more PC and all... so be prepared.

 

as for how much it depends on your and her net worth also...and how much in assets she has... if she has none, then you will get gang raped.

[Go Habs Go]

One more reason why I don't want to get married. No pre-nup, no marriage. Even with a pre-nup, you'd be paying child support, but in this day and age, it's not a wise choice for a man to get married. If I were you, not only look into a reputable attorney, but try to convince the court that she is very capable of working and you shouldn't have to pay that much in child support. 15-20% of your income is a lot.

[Baily]

It changes from state to state, but expect a healthy chunk to go away.

 

You'll be paying for child support and spousal support.

 

her education does not matter as she will be listed as a stay at home mom on the paperwork...which means you'll be paying for her to stay at home full time.

 

You are making enough to be well off...so....it's going to suck, but you'll still be better off than most.

[oldenoughtoknow]

It depends largely on the state where you live. In California, I used this software that most CA courts and attorneys use (6 years ago, it was available for a 30 day free trial). link removed

 

Alimony and child support are separate things. Alimony depends (in CA) on both of your incomes, how long you were married (usually 1/2 the length of the marriage), both of your potential incomes and can be negotiated. Child support is based largely on custody percentage and relative incomes.

 

There are so many other things that can factor in, like if you own a home and if either of you are going to keep it, who will pay health benefits for the kids, etc. I would suggest a mediated settlement, rather than a two attorney, adversarial one, if possible. Either way, with your level of income, you should consult with an attorney ASAP. It will be the best money you can spend right now.

[Live-N-Learn]

I was married for 10 years. the ex did not work for the last 8 years. We had two kids. The state gave her $1,700 a month in child support. Gave her an income of min wage since she did not work but was capable. I paid alimony of $1,500 for 3 years. I was making about what you make.

[newwave]

I have no idea but this is why many of us don't want to marry divorced guys with kids. Not only would we have to deal with the kids, we'd have to deal with the lazy exwife. No thanks.

[newwave]

I was married for 10 years. the ex did not work for the last 8 years. We had two kids. The state gave her $1,700 a month in child support. Gave her an income of min wage since she did not work but was capable. I paid alimony of $1,500 for 3 years. I was making about what you make.

 

Yet never married, no kid women are expected to settle for something like this? No way. I'd prefer that money to go towards my kids, not the lazy exwife.

[thejigsup]

My bf is a family law attorney and in California, and maybe many other states, the Disso Master crunches all the numbers and comes up with what you will pay. Now, Spousal Support will more than likely stop or be reduced when she starts working, but in this economy, who knows when that will be. The court will urge her, well, demand that she find a job within a couple of years. The child support will stay the same or go up until the youngest child is 18. No way out of that one.

[AutumnBorn]

Spousal support does not, generally, stop when the spouse begins working unless she gets a job that pays as much as you make. It ends after an agreed upon period of time - usually long enough for her to get an education to make a decent salary, at least four years - or when she remarries. (I asked for 10 years maintenance, but we negotiated a settlement for 6 and my receiving 60% of our investments and 401ks/IRAs and 70% of the proceeds from the house.)

 

Child support takes into consideration all child expenses, including a percentage of mortgage, utilities, clothing, medical, as well as food. The percentage that each spouse contributed to the household income is analyzed and compared to the expenses. Once the algorythm is ran, your child support is calculated.

 

Don't worry about the money. It's the same amount you'd be spending if you were still with the family. It's a wash. Don't make a big deal out of it and your children will respect you for being a good father and provider. Try to fight it so they suffer financially and the relationship may never be repaired.

[TexasDad]

At $14k a month you should have plenty of cash on hand for attorneys why not fight for custody of your child yourself? Don't buy into how it is all biased towards women, I won custody of my children in Texas courts...I could not imagine not having custody of my children it would kill me.

[nightlady]

 

Child support takes into consideration all child expenses, including a percentage of mortgage, utilities, clothing, medical, as well as food. The percentage that each spouse contributed to the household income is analyzed and compared to the expenses. Once the algorythm is ran, your child support is calculated.

QUOTE]

 

Exactly, my ex wants to know where his whopping $300 a month goes for child support. He thinks I take all the money and buy myself shoes. I cant pay the rent, utitlities, food, school and exrcurricular events with this money. But if my ex wants to be a cheapskate while hes making $100,000 a year...screw him! I work 100+ hrs a week just to put food on the table while my ex blows more money on his new gf then he does on his own son. Suck it up and pay it! Your lawyer should be able to tell you what you should pay and then try to negotiate.

[AutumnBorn]

Nightlady, I'd see my ex back in court if I were you. Support is re-analyzed at request.

 

Mr. Right, you are so wrong if you think that divorce is going to absolve you from your responsibility toward your family. Anyone who hopes to save money by leaving their family or fighting to keep money out of their ex's hands is only going to hurt their children and those kids will learn to truly hate you for your greed and not caring about their well-being. Child support is the SAME MONEY YOU'D BE SPENDING IF YOU WERE STILL A FAMILY. You aren't losing anything, only spending the same amount you would have spent on them when you were a family.

 

Newwave, are you kidding? Lazy ex-wife? How bitter and angry you sound. Does Scott's once stay at home wife make you angry? Scott didn't sound angry that his wife raised his kids, and it kept her from working, but you do. Do you think lazy women stay home and raise their children?

[newwave]

Newwave, are you kidding? Lazy ex-wife? How bitter and angry you sound. Does Scott's once stay at home wife make you angry? Scott didn't sound angry that his wife raised his kids, and it kept her from working, but you do. Do you think lazy women stay home and raise their children?

 

In her case (and the op) yes they sound lazy. I do not support that men should have to pay alimony. Child support, of course but not alimony. I am not bitter that his wife stayed at home since I do not know her, but women like those give those of us who work a bad name. Not not all stay at home moms are lazy, but many are. Plus, single women are often told we should give divorced fathers a chance, but exactly why is that a good idea? I'd resent having to pay more of the bills because my husband couldn't and the reason being he had to pay alimony to a lazy exwife. This is why I am happy I have the choice to avoid these guys because they spell bad news to me.

[TexasDad]

... You aren't losing anything, only spending the same amount you would have spent on them when you were a family....

 

 

 

I'd have to disagree when you are married you have a say in how the money is spent on your children when you are divorced you have no say, you can't tell your ex wife to buy little Johnny a new bike with the money instead of spending it on her young boy toy who doesn't have a job, or making the car payment on the convertible coup she bought after the divorce to soothe her mind about being in her 40's now with two kids...

 

Yes I'd have to say you are completely wrong on that point...

[AutumnBorn]

Texas, that's right, you don't get a say in how she spends the money. That's why the courts take only certain things into consideration when determining child support and alimony.

 

Since you have custody of your children, you don't have this imaginary concern about the stud muffin getting his hands on your kids money. The alimony is hers to spend as she pleases and none of anybody's concern.

 

@newwave, those kids probably would have been better off in an institutional setting than with their mothers, so the mothers should suffer financially for their stupid idea that raising their kids was important and had enough foresight to know their marriages would end and prepared by stashing enough cash to get by after the divorce.

 

Those decisions are made before the marriage goes bad. Just because someone becomes unhappy doesn't mean that the financial responsibility is over. It was their idea as a couple.

[newwave]

@newwave, those kids probably would have been better off in an institutional setting than with their mothers, so the mothers should suffer financially for their stupid idea that raising their kids was important and had enough foresight to know their marriages would end and prepared by stashing enough cash to get by after the divorce.

 

Those decisions are made before the marriage goes bad. Just because someone becomes unhappy doesn't mean that the financial responsibility is over. It was their idea as a couple.

 

No, but those lazy women need to get jobs now. That's common sense. Besides, I know many women who work and raise kids, and yes many of them are single, so staying at home makes no difference. In fact many times it's better that the mother works because the kids see that hard work is important but if they see their mom doing nothing (and in these cases that's what it sounds like) then they think that's fine. Sure many people who stay at home are hard workers, but many aren't. In fact the hardest working mothers are the single mothers I know who work fulltime, and come home to take care of their kids.

 

Besides, exactly why is it fair that a new wife should be denied things because the first wife refuses to get off her butt and find a job? This is exactly why divorced dads are poison to me. I am not financially supporting their dead weight lazy exwives.

[helplesslyhoping]

In IL it is 20% of your income after taxes, 401k, medical premiums etc. for 1 child, 25% for two and so on.

The fact that your wife is able to work but has not was a choice you made together, stop putting blame on her for that.

When she goes back to work FT child care will be needed. You will, in all likelyhood have to pay for half of that as well.

With times being what they are, most judges will award maintinence for 2 years to the tune of 15% of your income.

The money you give her for support is just that, supporting YOUR child. It will pay for sports, clothing, food, school supplies, scouts all the things he/she had before your childs parents decided to alter his life.

Because you and your wife made decisions that changed this childs life, you feel you shouldn't have to provide for him in the manner in which he is used to? I find that incredibly selfish.