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sorry for making this so long!



ok well ive been friends with a guy for about 3-4 years now and last year he told me he likes me and i did too. so he asked me out and i said yes. we were together for maybe 2 months. i'm not really sure why we broke up but i guess the time wasn't right...he was kicked out of his house and he told me we would have no way of communicating because he was getting his phone cut off since he had to pay for an apt, food, etc. all on his on with like a $5 an hour job. But he never got his phone cut off, so that could have been a lie. later, his parents took him back. and nothing changed between us, we were still the best of friends the way we were before we went out. so then i got pretty busy and we just stopped talking to him for about 5 months or so. after we started talking again, he asked me out again. after he proved to me he was serious this time, i said yes. by the way he lives in wisconsin and i live in idaho, im 19 and hes 18. he says hes trying to come here but we don't really have a set plan so i guess we'll see.


anyways now im just really afraid of getting hurt again. i REALLY love this guy and i trust him (i have trust issues). he tells me everything he does. for example, he used to be a bartender and he would get alot of girls giving him their numbers. he would tell me about them and throw them away. but i just don't want to lose him. ive talked to him about this and he says he feels the same way about me. he always apologizes for breaking up with me before. he says he really regrets it. he sent me a ring and wrote me a really long letter explaining how he feels and all that but i don't know why im so scared. i havent trusted anybody more than i trust him. i guess i get these trust issues from my last relationship. i gave this guy my all and he ended up hurting me really badly. but my question is what can i do to stop being so afraid? i know alot of you will saying dating your best friend is a big no and that long distance doesnt work but ehh what can i do? i really love him lol


and the other thing is that im feeling so down right now. today he asked me "why do you love me?" so i tell him and then were joking around and then this is what happens


me: so why do you love me?

him: how can i love you when i love [name of actress]

me: oh yea

him: haha

me: yea i forgot about your other girlfriends (we usually dont joke around about this kind of stuff)

him: Of course. Soo what's new?



then he goes "baby i have to goo i love you and miss you a lot bye"


i know it was a joke. we always joke around and stuff but i dont know. before this he was being like extra nice and loving. Do you think im just letting this get to my head or what? Or am i just being too emotional today? i just feel really sad about this and i cant stop thinking about it. i really love this guy and im so afraid to lose him. Am I just paranoid? ughhh i feel like a little 13 year old girl again lol i guess i just need some advice.


anyways any advice would be helpful. thanks.

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I think his excuse for not keeping contact with you when he was having a hard time but still had his phone accessible was just a convenient explanation for something else going on. In my opinion, long distance relationships aren't immediately bad but they can get that way if you don't even have a plan of meeting... I know some people on here will disagree with me but that's my two cents on that issue.


What I have always found to keep me from being afraid to get hurt is by remembering that I'm truly strong within myself and that's the most important thing. There really is no "quick fix" but perhaps reminding yourself of your own strength every day will help it along


What exactly are you wanting out of this relationship, if I may ask? Living in two different states when you obviously want to unite with him in person might be something that will come between you two... if he's serious - perhaps tell him how you feel and what you're expecting?

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well actually i was the one that stopped talking to him for awhile. i just dont understand why he broke up wiht me the first time. but whatever its in the past...i let it go. as for the future, i would really like to spend the rest of my life with him. i know im young but i truly love him, ive never felt like this before. he'll calls me "his wifey" sometimes and says that were going to get married and have this many kids, haha. i cant really tell if hes just messing around or if hes serious. i know he wants to meet me in person too, but right now its difficult. if we stay together then i know we can meet up one day.

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