love yourself......how?

[red_sky_girl]

hi all!

 

what i have noticed here on ENA for a long time , its the fact that people here keep telling or agreed that we first must love ourselves before we are ready to get involved in a relationship with another one...i think i get the point of this...but how one can "love" himself/herself? I mean sometimes i feel that i have a great potential inside me but i dont know myself so well...or i dont appreciate myself as i wish....and stuff...how can one love himself? what have u done specifically on a daily basis to show love and care and resepct for yourself without being egoistic..?

Its hard sometimes...cause we have schools, jobs, interactions with different people everyday , family members, friends, collegues, strangers ecetera....is self-love and self -care possible? i just want to know what steps have you taken to go to yourself and love that person you see everyday on the mirror?

[JusticeLaw9]

When you love and truly value yourself, you're not just going to accept anything; in other words, your less likely to settle. It means you know how to carry on and function on your own. Most people that get into relationships lack that trait and are so dependent on somebody else to "complete" them. Nobody should complete you; they should be an addition to what you have already built. And when you've got things right where they oughta be, the last thing anybody needs is for some knucklehead to come tear it down. I wouldn't allow that and neither should you.

[nutbrownhare]

There are loads and loads of resources online for building self-esteem; have a look at see what fits for you. It really is the first step towards building a happy life and having fulfilling relationships.

[Hermes]

RedSG:

 

To love oneself and care for oneself is entirely possible and very advisable too. Just to remark, loving oneself is NOT the same as being IN LOVE with oneself. (the latter is a pathological condition).

 

I think JusticeLaw says it well in his post.

 

Loving oneself means having good boundaries, enjoying one-s own time, as in, being on one"s own to do so, not feeling guilty (ever) about treating oneself to something, be it something as small as flowers, a plant, a fancy bath gel, to something larger such as a few days away in a place you would love to visit. It is a truism that when you love and respect yourself, you then attract healthy relationships.

 

Just be good to yourself, don"t be a people pleaser, do small kindnesses to yourself, don"t be overly self-critical.

 

Enjoy being YOU!

 

Hermes

[teabee]

One thing you can do is start paying attention to your self-talk. What kinds of things are you telling yourself throughout the day? When you look in the mirror do you think, "Hey beautiful!" even when you have a pimple, or do you immediately start picking apart everything that's wrong with your face? Do you criticize your body, or do you love and accept it no matter how it looks? Do you call yourself an idiot when a social situation doesn't go as smoothly as you'd like, or do you give yourself a break?

 

That's a big part of loving yourself. Basically give yourself unconditional positive regard: accept yourself completely, and don't be critical or judgmental.

[fuddiduddy]

Treat yourself as you would treat someone else you love (such as a best friend or sister or brother, etc.). Because you love these people, you'd look after their best interests and protect them from unhealthy/bad things or thoughts, right? And you'd give 'em a pep talk and loving support when they're down, right?

 

Treat yourself the SAME way. Just as you'd treat your best friend or family member.

[Cal Lily]

"Loving yourself" and being "egotistical/narcissitic" are 2 ENTIRELY different things.

 

Def: Ego: an INFLATED feeling of pride in your superiority to OTHERS.

 

Your "ego" is not concerned with "loving yourself". Your self-love-starved ego is too busy comparing yourself to others, because you don't trust your own mind. Who cares what others think? You are the only one who knows the real you. And you have to live with yourself, once everyone else leaves the building.

 

In physics, you cannot give what you don't have. How to love yourself? Count your blessings everyday (I thank the universe for my life, my dog, my hikes, my body, each time i laugh, everything). Hold yourself if you have to, list the good things about you and your life, look in the mirror and say "I love you."

 

Remember: "The only important opinion of you that counts is that of your own."

[red_sky_girl]

thank you very much to all of you guys ...they were valuable advice thanks again...its a hard path to follow but im trying to understand and follow it