handsdown Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 I need to to let go, but it seems like when I do, the mistrust just comes back again. I am in an incredibly happy relationship right now, I get along with this person very well, it is, between us, relationship heaven, really a story book could be written about how lovely and happy it is, but inside me my lack of trust is eating at me. I had my heart broken not long ago, and even though I was unhappy in the relationship by the time it ended, it was at one time a very happy relationship. I want to say 'like the one I have now' but it wasn't, we still fought very early on and it wasn't ANYTHING like the one I have now, in which we very very rarely have any sort of disagreement and when we do, we resolve it very well. So could it be I'm just scared of something so happy being taken away from me? That's the thing, this relationship is the healthiest, happiest one I've ever had and I'm scared to death that I will lose him! I talk to him about my insecurity and trust issues, he says he will wait patiently for me to resolve them, and that he's here for me (and he ALWAYS is), but it's unfair to him. He is completely confident in our relationship and it's future, very self-assured and I want to share that feeling with him...I feel like it does hurt him when I have doubts and each time I do, it pushes him away a little. So then I get insecure about having doubts about insecurity...it is a vicious cycle. I need to deal with this on my own so that I can join him in the confidence that this relationship deserves. BUT HOW? I analyze everything he does, I went through a snooping phase but have been forcing myself NOT to do so, because he's never done anything outright wrong (maybe some things that I've gone and read into and over analyzed and upset myself with, but in reality, they are NOTHING and he is the perfect man) and well, IT IS SOO SO SO WRONG of me to be doing that, but I still want to...it is like an addiction, someone slap me! Help, please, I need advice on letting go before I do something to destroy this magnificent relationship. What's wrong with me!?!?! Link to comment
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