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Considering being a friends with benefits with an old friend.. Should I?

Scorpio8647

By Scorpio8647
in Sex and Romance

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Scorpio8647 Enthusiast

Scorpio8647

Posted
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Ok it's so weird what's happened over the past couple of weeks with an old friend that I've known since middle school. Now we are adults in our mid 20's. Anyway about 3 weeks ago, we both went to a party together. Both got wasted and we slept together for the first time. It was very unexpected.. but I enjoyed it. Before anyone jump to conclusions, I'm not the type to get drunk a lot of sleep around so it just happened with my particular friend. Since then he's been trying to make advances toward me sexually but I've sort of chickened out. I don't want to mess things up with our friendship, but I also wouldn't mind having a little fun for awhile until I find a boyfriend.He's suggested that we become friends with benefits. I kinda like the idea since I'm a little sexually frustrated at this point in my life and could use a little harmless,SAFE fun. I am a little nervous about it.. You think I should start a friends with benefits situation with my friend?

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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Would you be interested in dating this friend? I think that if he is making advances, there may be more there based on your history than just being someone for sex. If you are old friends, there is probably at least SOME feeling there. I don't think anyone can go into a FWB without both deciding upon things first. He may genuinely think you finally broke through whatever barrier was up and are attracted to him, etc.

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agatha Enthusiast

agatha

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nah, boys aren't like that.

 

they do can handle a fwb relationship, as long as you put up with it and don't try to play the girlfriend. my secret for long lasting unnattached fwb's is to be what his best guy friend would - football games, comic cons, going out for boose and some flirting (he goes for girls, I for boys), etc, etc, etc.

 

when I'm not in love with the guy AT ALL, it's easy. if he's at any rate in love with you, he wouldn't be considering fwb. but if you have second thoughts on him, don't even try it.

 

because it can hurt like hell when you love someone who is emotionally unavailable.

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civilservant Collaborator

civilservant

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nah, boys aren't like that.

 

Rubbish. Some of us are.

 

To the OP, if you're really sure that this is what you want, then go for it. However the boundaries have to be closly defined, and the second you feel any attachment over and above the sexual you have to en it. It is SO easy to fall for the other person, despite your intentions.

 

If you have ANY romantic feelings toward him AT ALL then I would say don't do it.

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In the Dark Enthusiast

In the Dark

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@agatha

 

The only time I have been able to do FWB was when I was rebounding which equals "not all there".

And this was with females who also wanted FWB and as far as I know they were all there.

 

OP if you are going to plan of having meaningless sex with your old friend, keep in mind, either of you could get emotionally attached whether either of you want it or not.

 

In turn you could lose an old friend.

 

If you are willing to take that into consideration and potentially lose a friend then go for it.

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DanDee Explorer

DanDee

Posted
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Life is short...why not? Like everyone else said, as long as you don't have feelings for him. He doesn't really have any for you, or he'd be trying to take you on dates, so as long as the feeling is mutual...just have fun, lol.

 

The OP hasn't really said whether they have/don't have feelings for the friend. Or said whether the friend likes them romantically. They could?

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